Boys

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

Deleted this being I am not sure if my words came out right.

Thanks very much for all the helpful advice.

[purplepoet20]

My boys are very active wild monsters... when they are allowed.

We have taught them from walking age to stay calm on the sidewalks/streets.
They sometimes scream a little but I quickly whisper to use their indoor voice... at the stores and stuff
They know they can help use the tools but they have to stay calm and listen.
They have to treat animals/people nice so they will be nice to them.

...the list goes on...

What I find is some people ignore the kids in public and then punish them at home. They think kids shouldn't be seen or heard. bla bla bla

Kids learn by example and they will copy the people they spend the most time around. You have girls and then someday a boy he will be just like the sisters he looks up to. Me having 2 boys and then someday a girl she will be wild with manners.

[DoulaMama]

Well....I am one mother of boys you can't ask! LOL! My oldest is better now but still has listening issues. My middle(3.5yo) is REALLY hard to handle. He doesn't listen, he destroys the house, both older ones bite each other and really fight with each other, they have bedtime issues, we can't eat out at all, I hate taking them shopping ANYWHERE, they makes huge messes and I have a really hard time getting them to help tidy up. I don't know what to do either. I have tried gentle discipline, spanking, yelling, not saying a thing, harping on them, EVERYTHING. And I'm not exactly what someone would call a pushover. My mom had 2 girls and she is in shock at the differences between us and them. I've heard it gets easier the older they get and I do see that in my oldest, but it's still very hard and emotionally draining. Maybe I need meds? I have no clue....but it's definitely not easy 75% of the time. Sorry to be such a downer....not all boys are like this AT ALL! I blame my husband...

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

Deleted again.

Thanks for all the advice and sorry if my words came out wrong.

[DoulaMama]

I guess I would have to see the situation before commenting...is it a safe area for her to burn off energy? If so, and it's not on someone elses property....I'd let her go wild for a bit. Nothing wrong with that. If it's an area she can't do that in for safety purposes etc, maybe find a spot she could do that after getting off the school bus?? Is it the embarrassment of having her be "wild" that's getting to you? Or the safety issue? If it's the first one....I've realized that with 3 boys always embarrassing me that I have to just ignore any looks, do what I need to do and move on. My kids aren't hurting anyone, they may be a bit loud and say some things that are inappropriate, but I can only do so much. I can't "control" my kids. I can guide them, teach them, remind them...but that's it. Some people are very judgmental but there are a few of us out there who look at what you're going through and understand (hugs)

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

I guess I would have to see the situation before commenting...is it a safe area for her to burn off energy? If so, and it's not on someone elses property....I'd let her go wild for a bit. Nothing wrong with that. If it's an area she can't do that in for safety purposes etc, maybe find a spot she could do that after getting off the school bus?? Is it the embarrassment of having her be "wild" that's getting to you? Or the safety issue? If it's the first one....I've realized that with 3 boys always embarrassing me that I have to just ignore any looks, do what I need to do and move on. My kids aren't hurting anyone, they may be a bit loud and say some things that are inappropriate, but I can only do so much. I can't "control" my kids. I can guide them, teach them, remind them...but that's it. Some people are very judgmental but there are a few of us out there who look at what you're going through and understand (hugs)

You know what it is. I just want to get home being we have so much to do after school. Also the grass is community grounds and has dog p--- in it and there is mud and she gets all dirty and I have a very light carpet.

But that little boy is super wild and trying to stop her when he starts the running is hard.

[queen-of-harts]

It's more of a individual child thing then a gender thing or you would always see angelic girls and monster boys 100% of the time.I Can go shopping with all six of my boys,they will walk on sidewalks and parking lots ect. very well behaved but that being said some learned quick and others took longer.I agree with Doula if she is in a safe place than she should be able to get some energy out by running around for a few.I think boys tend to be more active then girls but that is not always true,my neice climbs trees and woodpiles and has never sat still while my boys are looking at her like she is nuts lol.You just cannot assume that your son would be a handfull compared to your daughters. I dont think this boy sets your daughter off your daughter is being exactly who she is and it is not this kids fault,you can tell your daughter what you want her to do when she gets off the bus and then the choice she makes is on her and has nothing to do with any other child whether its a crazy little boy running around in the grass or a little girl sitting in the grass calling her over to see all her dolls.

[begonia]

ITA with QOH about it being an individual child, not a gender thing ... one of my DD's has always been a compliant, well behaved child (I mean, she has her moments too but in general!) and the other one has been a handful from the minute she was mobile I've seen some crazy little ladies and some sweet little gentlemen.

And I will also say IMHO it isn't always a parenting issue either; kids are definitely born with nature that we have to nurture ... kind of like what Doulamama said ... we can guide and correct, etc. but at the end of it all, short of a leash, we can't control our kids. Much as I wish I could, including their gender

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

It's more of a individual child thing then a gender thing or you would always see angelic girls and monster boys 100% of the time.I Can go shopping with all six of my boys,they will walk on sidewalks and parking lots ect. very well behaved but that being said some learned quick and others took longer.I agree with Doula if she is in a safe place than she should be able to get some energy out by running around for a few.I think boys tend to be more active then girls but that is not always true,my neice climbs trees and woodpiles and has never sat still while my boys are looking at her like she is nuts lol.You just cannot assume that your son would be a handfull compared to your daughters. I dont think this boy sets your daughter off your daughter is being exactly who she is and it is not this kids fault,you can tell your daughter what you want her to do when she gets off the bus and then the choice she makes is on her and has nothing to do with any other child whether its a crazy little boy running around in the grass or a little girl sitting in the grass calling her over to see all her dolls.

I did not mean for anything to come out the wrong way.

I was just stressed and typed everything on here.

I apoligize if anything came out wrong.

Thanks very much for all the helpful tips and advice.

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

I guess I would have to see the situation before commenting...is it a safe area for her to burn off energy? If so, and it's not on someone elses property....I'd let her go wild for a bit. Nothing wrong with that. If it's an area she can't do that in for safety purposes etc, maybe find a spot she could do that after getting off the school bus?? Is it the embarrassment of having her be "wild" that's getting to you? Or the safety issue? If it's the first one....I've realized that with 3 boys always embarrassing me that I have to just ignore any looks, do what I need to do and move on. My kids aren't hurting anyone, they may be a bit loud and say some things that are inappropriate, but I can only do so much. I can't "control" my kids. I can guide them, teach them, remind them...but that's it. Some people are very judgmental but there are a few of us out there who look at what you're going through and understand (hugs)

This is what I am trying to practice from "scream free parenting".