ocean

Facebook really IS bad for you

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ocean
, April 5th, 2014 at 01:21 PM (1279 Views)
There's nothing like a scientific survey, cited in the Economist, to prove what I already know....which is that Facebook really is bad for us. [URL="http://www.economist.com/news/science-and-technology/21583593-using-social-network-seems-make-people-more-miserable-get-life"]http://www.economist.com/news/science-and-technology/21583593-using-social-network-seems-make-people-more-miserable-get-life[/URL]

Ok ok, there's got to be one person out there somewhere who is the happiest person on the planet, who posts to their heart's content, and is envious of no one. But they're at the top of a massive invisible pyramid in which the rest of us find PLENTY of people seemingly 'above us' to envy, in some aspect of their life, while not internalizing the people 'below'.

I logged onto to facebook for the first time in a month? yesterday - as after all, I was having a pretty good hour, glass of wine by my side, kids asleep, and hubby and I relaxing. And somehow I had the thought of, 'how bad is facebook really?' and before I knew it I'd opened the webpage.

Within 30 seconds I enjoyed a funny post from a friend, the topic of which I can barely remember now.

But immediately after that i saw a friend's picture of her kids that made me a little sad and a little jealous. And then learned a distant acquaintance was having a girl after two boys, and that the whole family was excited.

Yep I felt SUPER after that. Clearly so worth it to have checked in.

For GD, facebook is the trigger of all triggers. That and babyshowers for family or friends who are having your DG!

As Anne Lemott said in her amazing book on writing, per her therapist: it's unhealthy to be 'comparing your insides to other peoples' outsides.'

Exactly.

Updated April 5th, 2014 at 01:23 PM by ocean

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Comments

  1. Adia's Avatar
    Ooohh! That's a great quote from Anne Lemott! I love that.

    FB is such a blessing and a curse. I echo your sentiments exactly. When I log on there, which is very rare, I always brace for more "It's a BOY or Girl...just what I ordered" or "How exciting, our/your family is complete"....I usually end up UNfollowing someone. I think I follow fewer people than I don't follow, if that makes sense.

    I have a few friends on FB who I sincerely want to keep up with but the majority of that site is what you said, the biggest GD trigger ever!
  2. LilithWiser1979's Avatar
    I had to quit Facebook while swaying, and I think I may continue to stay away while pregnant. You're right, it's awful. More than anything, I hate seeing women who took for granted getting their DG (especially if it was a girl!) and not putting ANY effort into thinking about what it means to raise that gender right now! I am a super-feminist, and it just makes me cringe when I see all the moms who don't understand how they are encouraging their YOUNG girls to diet and dress precociously sexy and be more concerned about pleasing others than taking care of their own needs. Ugh!

    Pinterest is another one I have to be careful of for GD triggers. Man, do I feel bad after seeing all the cool things people get to make and do for their little girls. There's stuff for boys and gender neutral stuff, but it's rarely as cute as the homemade rainbow tutus or sundresses with fairy wings.
  3. ocean's Avatar
    Lilith - I've never been on pinterest and after your reply, I'll make sure to stay away!

    And as for the sexy dressing - it can make my stomach turn, and I just get sad. Liked your point about being 'more concerned about pleasing others than taking care of their own needs.' Hadn't thought of it, that's a great point.
  4. Houseofblue's Avatar
    I stay off FB 95% of the time, usually just logging in to check private messages...I have unfollowed soooo many people b/c of GD. FB just became such a trigger for me it is healthier for me to stay off, and I am so much happier!! Not to mention all the bragging about everything everyone does on there.
    Now Pinterest, I love Pinterest! I use it to plan my boys' parties and think there are so many great ideas. Then again I am usually just looking up very specific things so only get search results with those things (ex, Google search "Harry potter party pinterest"). ;)
  5. Adia's Avatar
    I love Pinterest too but I am like Houseofblue and only do specific searches. I can't browse...to risky!