Due March/April/May 2017 (2)

[Lissastick]

Burakoam, I've avoided saying anything to you because you are right, I don't know what you are going through. And now I feel bad for not saying anything at all. I can see you are hurting. And I wish nothing but peace for you.

And thank you so much for what you said about me. Yes, I will love this baby no matter what sex parts it has! Truth be told, whoever this baby is happens to be the one who completes my family. Boy or girl.

I am a really good person to unload on. Message me anytime ❤

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[3'sacharm]

Burakoam (and baby2016) I'm sorry to hear of the heartache you're both going through. I have no words of consolation sadly, I don't think any would suffice even if I did. My husband wanted a boy when we were first expecting, and he got his wish, and again twice more. He did not want another child yet openly admitted (after I opened my heart to him about my desire for a girl) that had our boys been girls, he would most definitely have wanted to "try again". I find that very painful, as a reflection of our relationship and how is would not be willing to do this for me, yet he would for himself. The biggest hugs to you xx

[Burakoam]

Xx, love you as always. Glad this site brought us together during our 3rd pregnancies. And baby, you know I love you. Thanks for chiming in...Jen I cannot compare my pain of not having a son to your pain of not having a daughter even if we are the same amount of babies in... I think each is their own unique pain despite their similarities. I am so sorry, and no matter how childish I sound will always be here for you to agree that it's really not fair.

Lissa don't feel bad. I actually genuinely appreciate that you didn't have the words at the time to express how you felt for me because the words you use now seem far more genuine and from a place of actual care than someone who may offer false sympathy only because they feel they should.

Charm your baby has a very girly nub and I am crossing my fingers and toes for you. I am so sorry hubby has essentially said he is done even if this is a boy. That's really not fair and if you wish to continue your family regardless of outcome I hope he changes his mind for you.

[Girlieplease]

Bukoram and baby I hardly know what to write, I have been trying to think all evening about what I could say how I could reply. I was so horrified when I read your posts because I realised that they referred to my post? Can I just say with all certainty that it was never my intention to upset you in anyway. You are both going through such a difficult time at the moment, I am so upset to think I caused you upset or pain I can only apologise for this.

It is just a difficult dilemma for me, I really don't really know how to resolve it. My situation is that no one in real life bar my dh knows I am pregnant and no one will ever know we swayed. I have no one in rl to talk to, my dh is a good man but he does not agree with swaying and he has been clear from the start that if we end up with another boy he will not tolerate any upset about this. I was so glad to find this site because I felt here at least people would understand, I could be honest about how I feel and not feel judged because of it. But after this evening I don't know if this is the case. I so so wish I did not feel like this, I so wish that I could just be happy with what I have, I wish that but that is unfortunately not my reality. My brother and his wife had there 20 week scan today, of course it's a girl, when they sent the photo through I just broke down and cried, I felt sick. How awful is that I cannot even be happy for my brother. He tried to phone me tonight and I could not speak him, I could not cope with it. It is a task for tomorrow when I feel stronger and I will phone him and tell him how excited I am and how wonderful it is.
For me this site is about people who want to achieve what they have always wanted and for some that is daughter or a son, for some that is a sister or a brother. For my part I am the only girl in my family, I have 15 boy cousins. I always wanted two girls, sisters. Largely because it is what I never had, when I had dd, I said to my dh I wanted to try for a sister for her as soon as possible, I got pregnant when she was 8 months and found out at 20 weeks it was a girl, well how I invested in that. I then discovered at 36 weeks are was a he, the devastation, made worse by everyone else excitement because he was the first boy, all my cousins had girls. We tried again for a girl and had ds2 my dd was devastated we told her in November and she wrote a letter to santa asking for a baby sister instead, no presents just that, it was heart breaking. I dont know how this sway will work out but my dilemma is if it is a boy it will be unbearable the pain, whether you accept that or not. What do I do with that then, I don't think I can talk about that here if it will upset others?
I am not the best communicator on these forums but I really want to apologise if I have upset you guys, it was not my intention, you have been a great support for me in the past and I will always be so grateful for that. I am feeling very emotional today, my gut tells me that you guys need this site at the minute so I should step away and not upset people further. Maybe I could join the June, July August groups, it is such a dilemma because I want support for myself but am horrified by the idea that I have upset others in the process :-(

[jenren]

Bukoram and baby I hardly know what to write, I have been trying to think all evening about what I could say how I could reply. I was so horrified when I read your posts because I realised that they referred to my post? Can I just say with all certainty that it was never my intention to upset you in anyway. You are both going through such a difficult time at the moment, I am so upset to think I caused you upset or pain I can only apologise for this.

It is just a difficult dilemma for me, I really don't really know how to resolve it. My situation is that no one in real life bar my dh knows I am pregnant and no one will ever know we swayed. I have no one in rl to talk to, my dh is a good man but he does not agree with swaying and he has been clear from the start that if we end up with another boy he will not tolerate any upset about this. I was so glad to find this site because I felt here at least people would understand, I could be honest about how I feel and not feel judged because of it. But after this evening I don't know if this is the case. I so so wish I did not feel like this, I so wish that I could just be happy with what I have, I wish that but that is unfortunately not my reality. My brother and his wife had there 20 week scan today, of course it's a girl, when they sent the photo through I just broke down and cried, I felt sick. How awful is that I cannot even be happy for my brother. He tried to phone me tonight and I could not speak him, I could not cope with it. It is a task for tomorrow when I feel stronger and I will phone him and tell him how excited I am and how wonderful it is.
For me this site is about people who want to achieve what they have always wanted and for some that is daughter or a son, for some that is a sister or a brother. For my part I am the only girl in my family, I have 15 boy cousins. I always wanted two girls, sisters. Largely because it is what I never had, when I had dd, I said to my dh I wanted to try for a sister for her as soon as possible, I got pregnant when she was 8 months and found out at 20 weeks it was a girl, well how I invested in that. I then discovered at 36 weeks are was a he, the devastation, made worse by everyone else excitement because he was the first boy, all my cousins had girls. We tried again for a girl and had ds2 my dd was devastated we told her in November and she wrote a letter to santa asking for a baby sister instead, no presents just that, it was heart breaking. I dont know how this sway will work out but my dilemma is if it is a boy it will be unbearable the pain, whether you accept that or not. What do I do with that then, I don't think I can talk about that here if it will upset others?
I am not the best communicator on these forums but I really want to apologise if I have upset you guys, it was not my intention, you have been a great support for me in the past and I will always be so grateful for that. I am feeling very emotional today, my gut tells me that you guys need this site at the minute so I should step away and not upset people further. Maybe I could join the June, July August groups, it is such a dilemma because I want support for myself but am horrified by the idea that I have upset others in the process :-(

You have a right to your feelings. If this forum is supportive to you I don't think you should leave. Everyone feels things and situations differently. In my opinion no one's feeling supercede another. You and burkoam should both stay if this forum gives you the support that real life doesn't.

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[Burakoam]

Girlie I assure you that my post was not referencing you.

[Girlieplease]

Girlie I assure you that my post was not referencing you.

Thank goodness, I have been so stressed and upset this evening, I cannot even tell you, am normally in bed an hour ago! Night night

[Burakoam]

Glad I could put your mind at ease, rest well.

[baby2016baby]

Can I also assure you my post referred to nobody. It was just done random scenarios to make a point that everyone suffers gd. It's just in different ways and methods. If it was up to me everyone would get their gd but sadly life doesn't work like that x

[jdd1017]

Burakoam, I actually loved your brutal honesty!!! I only have 2 boys, so I know I am nowhere near being in your shoes, but I know how it feels to have a gut feeling that you can only make one gender and want the other so so bad that no one understands. I have had so many people say "well just keep having kids until you get your girl". Well peeps (usually people who don't have kids so they have no idea how exhausting and expensive kids are), I don't want to keep popping out kids until I get my DG. Each child costs us about $30,000 in daycare to get them to kindergarten. I don't financially have the funds to produce child after child and quite honestly, I don't WANT to! My husband always said he only wants boys. He got his wish and now he tries to say he understands how I feel when I break down thinking about how I will never have a girl, and it's just NOT the same. I'm afraid if this baby is another boy I will resent him for wishing boys on me. Now I look at people who have one of each right away and I am annoyed by them and how lucky they got. I honestly wish I never gave a s*#t what gender I had and never thought about how it would feel to not have a girl. I wish I was oblivious and could just be happy with healthy babies/kids. I know I *might* be pregnant with a girl and there is still hope for me, but I can tell you that if this baby is another boy, I too will have a hard time being back on here seeing people get their DG!

I am sorry you have to go through this. I know it may take a long, long time, but I hope you eventually are at peace with not getting your boy


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