Due March/April/May 2017 (2)

[Girlieplease]

So sorry to read some of you have crap relationships with your mother's! Burakoam your amazing to put up with your mother's narcissistic tendencies!

Am so sorry that some of you have felt you cannot share your thoughts on what is possible happening with failed sways. I think that sort of information could be really important to this process. If your right burakoam about the odds been closer to 50 50, then that is nearly equivalent to your chances by doing nothing!
I agree with xxforhubby, I wonder if people are going too extreme with the diet and exercise for pink. Ability to conceive is going down and people are getting frustrated with there inability to get pregnant that they are dropping big sway factors, like timing and that is swaying blue? Also I wonder if length of time on the diet is key to this process for example I have read a fee posts from long term swayers

[Girlieplease]

Who have been on the diet so long, not pregnant and then they go light with the sway or don't sway. They get pregnant and it's a girl. Whereas for others that are only on the diet like less than 6 months maybe if we start loosening up on the diet, cardio and throwing extra attempts in, the overall pattern of maternal deprivation is not long enough, get blue? X

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm glad you shared this -- I've been alluding to these studies elsewhere on here, and I know we ultimately can't control our husbands and only ourselves, but the rhetoric that WE are more important to the gender is false, which is still supported by science. By definition, swaying is just that -- a sway, or nudge, so I get that. But like XX, I don't feel comfortable discussing this and a lot of other issues on here as much anymore unfortunately.

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Ah, glad I just so happened to stumble across this.

You guys are always welcome to bring stuff like this up. This idea that you are having to sneak around behind my back talking in back rooms or something - nah. That simply isn't true. I LOVE to talk and debate about swaying and I would refer you all back to my many posts where I do just that. It is why I keep all the information up about all the different sway tactics - I certainly don't have to do that, I do that because I want you guys to have all the info that I can provide. That's kind of my whole deal, is the free and open exchange of information here.

But at the same time, I do think that you guys simply must accept the fact that you can say whatever and then I have the right (and in fact the responsibility) to respond to them, and unlike all the rest of everyone on here I also write about 200 posts a day and I have to do that FAST and some interpret that as being short. I also sometimes do get a little bit annoyed when you guys don't seem to listen to explanations I have already given, and force me to take time from my children and the people who help me to go over the same thing again and again (for the same person I mean, not for noobs) and it's like they did not listen in the first place. This is not a regular thing, everyone has an off day now and then and I'm sure you can understand I am a human being and not infallible.

The fact is, it HAS indeed been proven to my satisfaction that we are more important to the gender. It is a biological reality that we are the ones who get pregnant, carry a baby for 9 months, feed it for at least another 9-18, and so on. There are a myriad of studies that show this, I've talked about it a jillion times, the scientists who are a hell of a lot smarter than any of us here on the site and have made a lifetime of studying the idea, ALL think this.

At the same time I have made no secret at all whatsoever that men do bring something to the table. The idea that I should then suddenly go around telling everyone, especially blue swayers, that they have literally no hope at all because they can't change anything, and more importantly, that I do not find the facts to be in support of that, that's not going to happen and I think it's a little...not sure of the word here, but a little something...that anyone would suggest that I am in any way being remiss by not doing it that way. I do it that way because I've talked to a lot of people and I think it's the best way to do it. A)I think it's bad for swaying to have that mental attitude and B) I do not believe that to be the case. And C) the idea that I am somehow being remiss/hiding information I don't appreciate, and since that has now been hinted about very openly I"m going to humbly suggest that is a pretty shitty thing considering the many hours I try very hard to help all of you guys. It's easy to take potshots from the outside, but I'm the one who has been here in the trenches this whole time.

EVERYthing that has been mentioned on here I have talked about, just because you personally may not have seen that, doesn't mean that I am somehow hiding information from people or talking in an untrue or misleading manner. It is not rhetoric, it is a belief that is shared by Robert Trivers, Valerie Grant, Satoshi Kanazawa, Elissa Cameron, and Richard Freaking Dawkins (I think that's his middle name LOL)

Re the study that has been referenced, this is something I've posted about numerous times, it was a hypothetical gene that was speculated about by a graduate student that has never been proven. I believe it will never BE proven and I have actually talked to some actual geneticists on Facebook that agree that it was a dumb and misleading study. I have read extensively about the sperm split and men have to make 50-50. You don't have to take my word for it, go ask Dr. Potter or Dr. Braverman or your local high school biology teacher. IT's because their XY cells split in two to make half X and half Y. I have also seen back on Ingender, probably 2 dozen women "have their husband's sperm tested" and it was always 50-50 ish. Other studies DO find it roughly 50-50. Now does this mean that they live as long, swim as good, fertilize as many eggs - no one knows that (and in fact this is in one of the earliest essays I wrote for the site, again, I am not hiding any information here and anyone who says I am, is misinformed). We also know that hippopotamuses do vary their sperm's gender ratio so that's at least one mammal that has the capability. But I have to go off of what is the most plausible explanation until something definitively shows me otherwise

The issue that I am having here is people acting as if I am hiding info or misleading people or giving "rhetoric" that I am making up or something. The stuff I recommend, I have very well thought out and researched reasons for it (which I have always been, and remain, happy to explain). That's not going to be tolerated any more because it is very hurtful to me so please let's take a moment to edit the nasty tone out of the posts. Really don't appreciate that.

[Brandles]

I need to catch up... I've missed a lot over the past few days.

I totally agree... I followed the diet and did everything perfectly down to the timing and got a boy with three of those girl sways (two were miscarriages)... I was a little more relaxed on the diet and just focused more on timing with my DD- I knew I was going to ovulate on the 14th day so we stopped having sex 4-5 days before ovulation and he was actually out of town that whole week and I ended up having a girl... not saying that's going to be true in all cases, BUT this pregnancy was a total surprise and same thing looking back on my timing- we stopped having sex about 4-5 days prior since we got in a huge blow out argument. SO apparently for my personal body the diet was too much for me to conceive a girl.

I know I am pregnant with my overall dg, but I have not been very excited about this pregnancy... this is the only pregnancy I have had that my DH hasn't been excited about. He does not discuss the baby whatsoever... doesn't touch my belly, zero support, nothing at all. It's been a hard 11 weeks of this... hopefully he comes around soon. I feel like I can't enjoy it or even talk about it around him. I want to enjoy this baby, I just can't.

I haven't been taking pics of this pregnancy as much as I have in past pregnancies, but here is my 14+6 belly shot- Started this pregnancy out weighing what I delivered my 2nd son at.

IMG_3938.jpg

[jenren]

I need to catch up... I've missed a lot over the past few days.

I totally agree... I followed the diet and did everything perfectly down to the timing and got a boy with both of those sways... I was a little more relaxed on the diet and just focused more on timing with my DD- I knew I was going to ovulate on the 14th day so we stopped having sex 4-5 days before ovulation and he was actually out of town that whole week and I ended up having a girl... not saying that's going to be true in all cases, BUT this pregnancy was a total surprise and same thing looking back on my timing- we stopped having sex about 4-5 days prior since we got in a huge blow out argument. SO apparently for my personal body the diet was too much for me to conceive a girl.

I know I am pregnant with my overall dg, but I have not been very excited about this pregnancy... this is the only pregnancy I have had that my DH hasn't been excited about. He does not discuss the baby whatsoever... doesn't touch my belly, zero support, nothing at all. It's been a hard 11 weeks of this... hopefully he comes around soon. I feel like I can't enjoy it or even talk about it around him. I want to enjoy this baby, I just can't.

I haven't been taking pics of this pregnancy as much as I have in past pregnancies, but here is my 14+6 belly shot- Started this pregnancy out weighing what I delivered my 2nd son at.

IMG_3938.jpg

Such a cute bump! I'm sorry about your dh I can't imagine how hard that would be. my dh was done after our second baby. Yet here we are on ds 4 and every pregnancy he has been so supportive and loving about. Even though I know he would have been done after two he has supported me in having more. I even believe he would let me go for a fifth if I wanted... but it would be just too much for me. I really hope dh comes around for you soon. Has he gone to an ultrasound with you??

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[atomic sagebrush]

I agree with you Burakoam about sways not working. Last year, pink wasn't great but blue was a tad better.

I'm not sure what to think anymore. I have offered up a couple possible suggestions for blue but that seemed to be dismissed. I personally think that following something to a "T" might be where the problem lays. I think it's just too restrictive for both pink and blue. I'm beginning to think a moderation is the way to go. There is something to be said for people following the guidelines, and not doing extra things, that are still getting opposites. Makes no sense to me. I mean people on both sides are having relaxed sways getting opposites as well as people following stricter sways getting opposites.

It could be bad luck, but I don't think so. I have my own thoughts- some I shared briefly in the other thread, but sadly I don't feel comfortable voicing them.



DS1, DS2, DS3
One last pink sway in 2016
My Ovulation Chart

XX - the thing is, if you offer an explanation that I have already considered, and then I try to share the reasons why I do not think that is the case, that is not a dismissal. The other option is that I could listen and say nothing, and then do whatever I believe right anyway (and maybe I should have done that. I am not made that way, though. Feels dishonest to me.)

I'm sorry you feel that I dismissed you. It was not my intent, and had actually already considered what you mentioned (and agreed about the possible weight gain.)

I believe that from where I sit I am uniquely qualified to be the "eye in the sky" on what is working for us. Maybe some of you disagree with that from where YOU sit, but I have very specific reasons why I think all the things that I do. I am always happy to share those reasons and any suggestion otherwise, I'm sorry, that is just not true.

I can't just erase those reasons in an effort to as my husband would say "butter people's balls" because I do not believe that I'm in the wrong here. I think what we're doing is safe, sane, quick time to conception, and it sways gender. I cannot and will not drop methods I believe work better for people, or add things I believe are placebos or even harmful, in ANY of those arenas in some attempt to create agreement or consensus. I would not be doing any of you any favors if I bowed to "whatever way the wind is blowing" even if I disagreed with it.

ALL the sway info is here on the site. Lots of different tactics. I didn't delete any of that stuff even when I really think it's a bad idea. You guys are asking MY OPINION in the Custom Plans and in the forums. AT the end of it all, that is all I have ever offered or promised anyone, is that I do my level best to do the research, digest it all, and condense it down in a form that is easy for people to digest (and does not destroy their health, fertility, and marriage). But to suggest that I change MY OPINION when I do not think I have cause to do that, I don't think that's fair or right to ask of me. I'm not going to, all I can do is just keep doing what I think is best and is best supported by science.

I've been wrong before. I was wrong on the pink sways in 2011-2012 and I changed them. I took that very seriously and apologized to the people who I felt got opposites because of my recommendations. I share new studies when I find them (and wish I had more time for that honestly) and I am ALWAYS challenging and rethinking all my assumptions. IF I don't change something it is because I do not think it should be changed. That's all. My only motivation is to get people their desired gender, safely, sanely, and quickly.

[Throwaway_panther]

Ah, glad I just so happened to stumble across this.

You guys are always welcome to bring stuff like this up. This idea that you are having to sneak around behind my back talking in back rooms or something - nah. That simply isn't true. I LOVE to talk and debate about swaying and I would refer you all back to my many posts where I do just that. It is why I keep all the information up about all the different sway tactics - I certainly don't have to do that, I do that because I want you guys to have all the info that I can provide. That's kind of my whole deal, is the free and open exchange of information here.

But at the same time, I do think that you guys simply must accept the fact that you can say whatever and then I have the right (and in fact the responsibility) to respond to them, and unlike all the rest of everyone on here I also write about 200 posts a day and I have to do that FAST and some interpret that as being short. I also sometimes do get a little bit annoyed when you guys don't seem to listen to explanations I have already given, and force me to take time from my children and the people who help me to go over the same thing again and again (for the same person I mean, not for noobs) and it's like they did not listen in the first place. This is not a regular thing, everyone has an off day now and then and I'm sure you can understand I am a human being and not infallible.

The fact is, it HAS indeed been proven to my satisfaction that we are more important to the gender. It is a biological reality that we are the ones who get pregnant, carry a baby for 9 months, feed it for at least another 9-18, and so on. There are a myriad of studies that show this, I've talked about it a jillion times, the scientists who are a hell of a lot smarter than any of us here on the site and have made a lifetime of studying the idea, ALL think this.

At the same time I have made no secret at all whatsoever that men do bring something to the table. The idea that I should then suddenly go around telling everyone, especially blue swayers, that they have literally no hope at all because they can't change anything, and more importantly, that I do not find the facts to be in support of that, that's not going to happen and I think it's a little...not sure of the word here, but a little something...that anyone would suggest that I am in any way being remiss by not doing it that way. I do it that way because I've talked to a lot of people and I think it's the best way to do it. A)I think it's bad for swaying to have that mental attitude and B) I do not believe that to be the case. And C) the idea that I am somehow being remiss/hiding information I don't appreciate, and since that has now been hinted about very openly I"m going to humbly suggest that is a pretty shitty thing considering the many hours I try very hard to help all of you guys. It's easy to take potshots from the outside, but I'm the one who has been here in the trenches this whole time.

EVERYthing that has been mentioned on here I have talked about, just because you personally may not have seen that, doesn't mean that I am somehow hiding information from people or talking in an untrue or misleading manner. It is not rhetoric, it is a belief that is shared by Robert Trivers, Valerie Grant, Satoshi Kanazawa, Elissa Cameron, and Richard Freaking Dawkins (I think that's his middle name LOL)

Re the study that has been referenced, this is something I've posted about numerous times, it was a hypothetical gene that was speculated about by a graduate student that has never been proven. I believe it will never BE proven and I have actually talked to some actual geneticists on Facebook that agree that it was a dumb and misleading study. I have read extensively about the sperm split and men have to make 50-50. You don't have to take my word for it, go ask Dr. Potter or Dr. Braverman or your local high school biology teacher. IT's because their XY cells split in two to make half X and half Y. I have also seen back on Ingender, probably 2 dozen women "have their husband's sperm tested" and it was always 50-50 ish. Other studies DO find it roughly 50-50. Now does this mean that they live as long, swim as good, fertilize as many eggs - no one knows that (and in fact this is in one of the earliest essays I wrote for the site, again, I am not hiding any information here and anyone who says I am, is misinformed). We also know that hippopotamuses do vary their sperm's gender ratio so that's at least one mammal that has the capability. But I have to go off of what is the most plausible explanation until something definitively shows me otherwise

The issue that I am having here is people acting as if I am hiding info or misleading people or giving "rhetoric" that I am making up or something. The stuff I recommend, I have very well thought out and researched reasons for it (which I have always been, and remain, happy to explain). That's not going to be tolerated any more because it is very hurtful to me so please let's take a moment to edit the nasty tone out of the posts. Really don't appreciate that.

I'm not implying you're making things up, since you quoted my notion of rhetoric. I, and others, do feel that questioning some recommendations and/or bringing up other points is not well received. Which is uncomfortable. And if you take that as a potshot, I'm at a loss as to how to convey any inquiry.

We're all in here because we're desperate. Many of us pay you in some way or other for a reason. But it's hard to say anything it seems lately.

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[Burakoam]

Atomic I don't know that anyone said you were hiding anything, so much as you are really hesitant to change anything regardling plans. I think the reasons numbers are dropping on both sides is actually tied to how many are attempting to TTC this year with 3+ of one gender. I don't think the same plan applies to a woman with 3 girls that applies to a woman who say already has one girl and maybe would be likely to get a boy the next time anyhow just so happens to sway and lo and behold it's a boy. Honestly their body may have been pretty in between as it is so a 'nudge' from a sway works better than someone who lets say is 90% pink sways, and then because a sway IS just a nudge really ends up being 50:50 so they still end up pink. Now I am not saying you ever advertised as anything greater than that but I do think the plan should be tailored more to someone who has more of one gender than another person and they shouldn't have the same plan. That is why you charge for the plans and don't do them for free when the time is there right?

I think more emphasis needs put into muscle mass when swaying blue. What I am seeing in this DD group with failed pink sways is pretty and skinny mommas that by all means should be pink friendly but they are still very active and can see in their pictures they have excellent muscle mass and are tough as nails. (This is a compliment ladies.. as a girl mom I admire the shit out of you!) but I do think that physical toughness sways more blue than is let on.

I believe that is also how you see so many obese women with lots of boys too when the weight should sway girl. Who knows what their muscle mass is despite that weight? Probably just as good as some more fit ladies! And then they get more sons.

The study as to why models make more boys is on the right track but I disagree that it's strong features. You wanna talk about strong genetics? I'll post a picture of me and my girls where you can see all of them look more like me and have a lot of my features... I think it's because a lot of models take the excersise portion of their lives very seriously... you see alot of models lifting weights and kickboxing, ETC

Ultimately just like you think we read your posts as short and rude I think you read a bit much into ours. If I don't want to say something publicly it isn't because it's necessarily a private attack on your character.. actually something unrelated. It that I thought you could take offense to it anyhow and my goal is not to come on here and offend you atomic as I want to believe you really tried for me and all the failed sways too and what is simply just is... but you can't put the blame entirely on us and not expect people's feelings to get a bit hurt. I and others simply want you to look further into things and if it was something you were willing to do I bEt you would see a lot of us shut up and simply watch you work.

[Burakoam]

Brandles while I hate that she seems to pop up and always rub in anyone's face she can that she has no problem getting what she wants it seems sway or not, is a good example. Her body is quite obviously in a state of 50/50. She nudges a bit this way she gets a boy.. she goes the opposite, gets a girl. Someone with 3 boys is not going to be in that same state. Brandles admitted for 2 of her boys she swayed so you can't use her as an example of a mom that has 3 boys then gets a girl. Instead the example should be Jen, who is on her 4th I can tell from her belly pictures she still has a lot muscle mass. I think what you are looking at is in what sway cases is there an individual who needs a more extreme sway from you vs someone who may only need a nudge one way or the other.

[Burakoam]

A good example of why women with dominant strong genes doesn't mean boys are easy to make.

IMG_1544.JPG