Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 34
  1. #1
    Dream Vet
    2boysJustOneGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    715
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Horrible day...anybody else with me?!?

    Somedays I really think I will never be happy again. Always in the back of my mind is that daughter, the one who doesn't exist. On the bad days, when I am so tired and drained from my two boys, I accept never having another baby, never having my girl because I can barely handle two kids, never mind three. And with that acceptance comes so much grief I am almost numb. Imagine grieving something you never had? I didn't ever think it was I possible. Hoping tomorrow is brighter...if not perhaps Easter chocolate can help? Lol


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    2 baby boys blessed Hoping for a little girl to complete our family
    Angel baby Decemeber 23confirmedand pregnant again nowPlease, please be my little girl!

  2. #2
    Dream Vet

    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    933
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Just imagine your life with out those two, look at their smiling little faces, and the sweet little kisses they give. Tomorrow will be better, give your self some time.

  3. #3
    Dream Vet
    motherofboys's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Kent, UK
    Posts
    1,117
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    I know exactly what you mean. I have 4 boys and there are days when my life is just a complete whirlwind. So much noise and rarely a moment of peace. There are times when everyone seems to be tag teaming me. And on those days, things can get on top of me, and I think "can I really cope with another child?" And I can imagine it. The 4 boys growing up and things getting easier, and me there with no daughter, still silently aching inside but accepting that's just how it is.
    But there are moments, like yesterday walking home from the park, I was at the back pushing ds4 in the pram, ds3 was on dh back and ds1 and 2 either side of him. I watched them running round him, him jog along a bit bouncing ds3, all of them laughing. I looked down at ds4 wrapped up tight against the chill of the wind, fast asleep. And my heart swelled. We'd all had a great time at the park and I felt good and right.
    I felt in that moment that another child was a blessing and that even if I get another boy, I will be ok.
    I know the feeling of grieving. I know the numb feeling. I can't say what is coming down the line, and what is the right choice. I do at times think it would be easier to just move on now rather than try again, but I said 5 kids before we knew we'd have all boys and I've never swayed so I want that last chance. And those moments like I described above, they are worth all those days of chaos.
    Give yourself today, be gentle with yourself. I hope that tomorrow is better for you.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Feb 2006 Oct 2007 March 2010 Oct 2013

    Hoping the future holds a for us......

  4. #4
    Big Dreamer
    Mum to three girls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    353
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    I have three girls and my days are also a whirlwind of noise and no peace! I think the gender differences are exaggerated sometimes - my three are as messy, noisy and attracted to dirt as any boy.
    Mummy to three gorgeous girls :
    DD1 7
    DD2 6
    DD3 2
    DS born sep 13

  5. #5
    Dream Vet
    motherofboys's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Kent, UK
    Posts
    1,117
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    I agree mum to three girls. I am usually the one butting into posts on Facebook groups when people ask "those with both genders, which is hardest" my ds2 was a real shock to the system after my chilled out, good as gold, wouldn't know you had him ds1. If ds2 had been a girl is have sworn girls were harder and the opposite way round I'd have sworn boys were. I do really think it's all a child's personality rather than their gender. But, having said that, at times of deep GD, I often think it would have been so much easier if I had a girl. I know it wouldn't have really, but it's just one of those things that creep into your mind when thinking how things could have been. And we do tend to put all these expectations on children we may never even get. I know a lot of us pink swayers want pretty dresses, ballet class and hair clips. When in reality we could have major tom boys on our hands who would rather play football with their brothers and refuse point blank to wear a dress as soon as they found their voice.
    The one thing I know is true is that when things are hard, and I don't know if I could handle another child in the mix, is that had I had a girl at any point it would have made the decision to stop having babies before we hit our planned number a lot easier.



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Feb 2006 Oct 2007 March 2010 Oct 2013

    Hoping the future holds a for us......

  6. #6
    Dream Vet
    2boysJustOneGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    715
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks motherofboys❤️. I feel the same way you do. If one girl could be thrown in the mix it would make childbearing a little more fun. I always said I wanted 3 kids, but I never imagined how hard being a mom can get. Now I am kind of wanting some freedom again, some me time. If I could have had a girl I could be planning other things now instead of being on this forum feeling alone and desperate.
    I see friends of mine who got their boy and girl and they are now selling all their baby stuff and enjoying their kids as they grow. I am envious of that in a way. The thought of having another is overwhelming at times, regardless of the gender. The thought of not having a daughter is even more overwhelming and actually quite unbearable. It's a tough place to be in. Thanks again for replying. I really needed a bit of love today.




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    2 baby boys blessed Hoping for a little girl to complete our family
    Angel baby Decemeber 23confirmedand pregnant again nowPlease, please be my little girl!

  7. #7
    Dream Vet
    motherofboys's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Kent, UK
    Posts
    1,117
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    I wish I could see into the future and know 100% if I'd ever get a girl, it would make relaxing now and enjoying my boys so much easier.
    I hope whatever the future brings we can all find peace and happiness.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Feb 2006 Oct 2007 March 2010 Oct 2013

    Hoping the future holds a for us......

  8. #8
    Big Dreamer

    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    491
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    What a great thread! I am right there with you ladies. Motherofboys, you put into words exactly how I feel! Some days I feel so blessed and happy, and others I feel envious (usually of a boy mom I know IRL who just had a girl) or anxiety about never having a daughter.
    I'm about 6 weeks PG and already panicking. I swayed but I wonder was it a good enough sway? I just feel like it's not in the cards for me to have a girl and I wish I could get to *that* place where I can be happy without one. Before I started swaying and got PG, I actually had a very good couple of years without much GD (after DS3 was born). Then it kicked in again and I had to make a decision (because I am 36) whether to try once more or not, so we took the plunge.
    Anyway, I feel exactly the same!
    Mommy to

  9. #9
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Eastern Washington State, USA
    Posts
    108,135
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    As they get older, it gets easier. DK how old your boys are but this is a temporary phase and before you know it, you'll suddenly realize that it got easier without you even noticing.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

  10. #10
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Eastern Washington State, USA
    Posts
    108,135
    Post Thanks / Like
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Mum to three girls View Post
    I have three girls and my days are also a whirlwind of noise and no peace! I think the gender differences are exaggerated sometimes - my three are as messy, noisy and attracted to dirt as any boy.
    My daughter is also very hardcore and one of my boys was super duper mellow so I totally agree it's not a gender thing necessarily.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Am I a Horrible Person?
    By sbowman in forum Pregnancy Loss
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: November 26th, 2013, 09:44 PM
  2. Is Roasted Red Pepper horrible to eat?
    By kaseybaby in forum Trying to Conceive a Girl
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: June 4th, 2011, 04:20 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •