She feels lshe feels like kicking out all the windows and setting fire to this life

[hotdogz&boyz]

I get that desire to "fit in" somewhere. But out of curiousity...why do people (including yourself) assume that because they have penises they will enjoy fishing? Having a penis and liking to fish are two completely unrelated things. As is having a penis and liking sports. Or having a vagina and enjoying painting ones nails. I can assure you, one of my boys very much enjoys having his nails painted. And I can also assure you that neither of my boys is patient enough for fishing. Nor does my husband like sports. Nor does my mom like painting her nails. I do "get" that gender stereotypes are so hard to break free from, since people seem to love to perpetuate them. But I also get a little bent out of shape when people pigeon hole their children by assuming they will be a certain way because they are a certain sex. Yes, you are outnumbered by penises, but that doesn't mean that one or both of your children won't enjoy many of the things you do. Both of your kids could hate fishing. And your daughter could love it.

[2boysJustOneGirl]

I agree with you 100% and I try to convince my PP friend of the same thing. It's other peoples reaction to my family imbalance that irritates me and the assumption that my hubby has it all because he has two sons.

When you receive pity from ppl for being daughter-less you cannot help but begin to feel pity for yourself. It's just reality. Society sucks.

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[jmomof3girls]

People like to say to me "your poor husband" because we have 3 girls. I couldn't care less because my husband has 3 little girls running up and giving him hugs and kisses everyday after work. There is no "poor husband" about his life! Try not to care so much what other people think. I know it's hard but they don't even know anything about your life. Just keep visualizing yourself with a daughter. It will happen!

[atomic sagebrush]

After we had two boys, my husband actually had a weird kind of GD where he wanted more 'BOY' boys because my older two are not really stereotypical manly men at all. I agree with hotdogz that just because you have a male kid, doesn't mean you won't have tons of stuff in common.

To be honest, I never got any bullshit from people when I had two boys though. People think it's WAY weirder to have 5 kids than to have 2 boys!

[coocoobananas]

I have fought the "you must have your hands full, 3 boys!!!" when they know or see me with 3 boys! How the heck would they know? It's so true that pp always point out how one sex is vs the other. It's not true and I am constantly letting them in on the secret that that's not the case. They are individuals that all happen to sport a penis. My boys are all over the map with personalities! What they all have in common is they are very affectionate. It's too bad society tries to take this away from them.
Hotdogs you spoke so well about this that I won't begin to try lol! But you read my mind but write it so much more eloquently than I ever could

[EmileeJane]

2boysj1g- I'm late to this post so just read it. And it made me smile. Not because you feel/felt bad But because of how you said it! Kick stuff down and setting life on fire! That is exactly how I feel a lot. I'm a bit dramatic and that is how I would express myself as well. I am also feeling a lot like this these days. Have quite a few friends getting their PP lately and it hurts. One close friend who I've been avoiding but saw the other day is pregnant with the girl both her and DH desperately wanted. She said how glad she was about leaving an old neighborhood full of boys before she got pregnant again! She said, ' there must be something on the water there. ' that set me off. Then had a client at work yesterday tell me her daughter is newly pregnant and they both just know she's having a girl and she told me names. Finally I said what if she has a boy? She stopped and looked up at me like I was crazy! 'Oh she's NOT having a boy.'
Society/culture sucks and most certainly makes me feel like I have an inferior family for having boys. People really need to think before they speak especially friends who know how you feel.
My whole pre kid life, I thought I'd have 2 girls. Was shocked and sad to hear boy at my 5mos ultrasound. I thought after that okay next time. I can do a boy if I get a girl next time. I also only planned on 2 kids. Now here I am hoping to conceive baby 3. The only way I was able to convince DH on #3 is because DS2 is such a different baby from ds1. He's very chill, happy and affectionate. DH was hoping for a girl when we were pregnant for 2nd time and is also hoping for that girl this time.
Anyway sorry I just high jacked your post. Clearly I'm having my own sadness issues these days.
I feel you lady! You not alone! I was most certainly kicking an screaming yesterday Xoxo!

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Glad we have each other! I love this site for giving us common ground in a world full of pp assholes. One thing about GD is there are ups and downs but eventually I believe it will get easier and easier to accept and live with.


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[Orchidia]

I feel you. I am mostly surrounded with ppl who have 1, 2 or 3 boys, so that def makes it easier. Are you really sure there aren't any boys moms you could hang out with? I know a girl with a PP who wanted a third child and had a preference for a boy. HEr DH was on the fence about a 3rd child and ppl just talked her into not having a third bc she already had one of each, but reading between the lines, I know she was longing for a second boy.

For the month of June this year, I though I was having a DD, but miscarried. I'll tell you this: when I tought I was having a DD, it strangely became less of a big deal for me. Maybe bc once something is not unattainable anymore, it's just not as desirable. I could not believe I was feeling that way, after yrs of GDe. I was def happy, but not AS over the moon as I thought I'd be. Now I struggle a lot with cycling again or not, for various reasons. Bc my GDe is not as strong now (altho still there), bc of the cost, bc of my age, bc I'm afraid I'd be pushing me luck and there'd be something with the baby.... It's just an icky frame of mind to be in.

[Peebell85]

I find it utterly repulsive how some people react to boys. As like most of you mums, I have a sweet, caring and VERY affectionate little boy that adores both his mummy and daddy and is always hugging us and giving us cuddles.

It's how CHILDREN are brought up, not about gender. I know some little girls who are royal pains in the $%#^ and thank my lucky stars that I don't have one, but then it has nothing to do with her being a girl, it's that her parents have treated her like a spoilt princess and now she acts like it.

We all would love a daughter (or son), that is why we are here, but no one should ever make anyone feel less of a person because they only bare one type of gender. I truly believe there is a reason why we don't get to 'select' the gender of our babies.... We are blessed with a CHILD, whom we love no matter what is between it's legs.

I think Western society has glorified girls with beautiful fashion, pagent shows, modelling shoes, etc... But years ago every mother wanted to have boys! Funny how fashion can affect how we feel, even about our kids...

[LacePrincess]

I get that desire to "fit in" somewhere. But out of curiousity...why do people (including yourself) assume that because they have penises they will enjoy fishing? Having a penis and liking to fish are two completely unrelated things. As is having a penis and liking sports. Or having a vagina and enjoying painting ones nails. I can assure you, one of my boys very much enjoys having his nails painted. And I can also assure you that neither of my boys is patient enough for fishing. Nor does my husband like sports. Nor does my mom like painting her nails. I do "get" that gender stereotypes are so hard to break free from, since people seem to love to perpetuate them. But I also get a little bent out of shape when people pigeon hole their children by assuming they will be a certain way because they are a certain sex. Yes, you are outnumbered by penises, but that doesn't mean that one or both of your children won't enjoy many of the things you do. Both of your kids could hate fishing. And your daughter could love it.

THIS x 1,000,000!!!

I am very late coming to this thread, but I couldn't not reply. Hotdogz, you truly have a magical way with words and so perfectly profoundly stated. I find myself agreeing SO MUCH with everything you post. Thank you.

You have just nailed what bugs me too. We have 3 boys, but we're about as far from the cliche stereotypes as you can get. NONE of mine are 'boy sports' kids. My eldest is a bookworm. He's active but can't even remember who won the game when he plays soccer or any other team sports, lol.

My middle and youngest are dancers. My middle son just joined a pro ballet school and LOVES it. He's always been a dancer, but the form of dance he has taken to is BALLET. My youngest is just starting to get into dance, and he is the most enthusiastic passionate one in his entire class of little girls. My youngest used to be in the same dance class as my neighbour's cute little girl, and while my neighbour's daughter of course had the cute little pink ballet getup, she didn't even last ONE YEAR before quitting. And my son is still dancing and still loving it! So funnily enough, I get to continue being a dance mom and a boy mom, and my neighbour doesn't get to be a dance mom at all.

They are all completely different in personality and temperaments. And I'm sure if I had a fourth boy, he'd be a unique creature too. Preconceived notions are such unnecessary limitations.