She feels lshe feels like kicking out all the windows and setting fire to this life

[Kittybear]

What bugs me most about pigeon pair moms is that they get the best of both worlds. .

Hey Hun, I was thinking of what you wrote here and it occurred to me that maybe the PP mums get the best of both worlds, but maybe that's not the case for the girl and the boy as perhaps they would prefer a sibling of the same gender to play with, probably have more similar hobbies and interests with, similar issues etc...? Maybe just something to bear in mind x x

[2boysJustOneGirl]

I think you are right, my boys (21 months apart) will be great playmates and hopefully friends for life. I get tired of hearing that from ppl tho😜I don't think it's too selfish to want or wish for something for myself. It's always about "my boys". It's all I hear. That alone sends me off into a very lonely place...😢


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[trifecta]

I'm sorry you're at such a low point right now. I've been there. You're not really alone at all in this struggle. It only appears that way because of the people you know. There really are plenty of all boy moms out there and if you're not done you might get your girl, yet (and appreciate her all the more because of this).

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Thanks trifecta. I am in a better place now. I think PMS really plays into how depressed I feel about my GD. We are planning on another. Just not sure which way to go...sway or HT. I have only lately even considered swaying, maybe that is my conscience telling me it is the right time. I don't know what to do!


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[jmomof3girls]

You could very easily get your daughter. Most people with 3 kids have mixed genders. I know TONS of people that had 2 boys and then a girl! Good luck!

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Thanks Jana. The fear is what if I have ANOTHER boy?!? OMG I don think I could handle that...but I have moments where I think I would just deal with it, love him (of course!) and move on.


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[jmomof3girls]

You would love him and you would deal with it. There seems to be something quite special about the 3rd child of the same gender with a lot of the ladies here. I know my 3rd daughter is my most affectionate and gives me the most love. My husband wanted her to be a boy very badly and he had GD while I was pregnant with her and now he just absolutely adores her.

[hotdogz&boyz]

While pigeon pair parents may seem to get "the best of both worlds," there are things they miss out by not having multiple children of the same sex. The biggest one of those, and I am sure plenty of people notice it, is that PP parents tend to attribute ALL differences to gender. "Oh, she is talkative because she is a girl." "Oh, he is running around like that because he is a boy." "He likes those toys because boys like building toys." They don't get to see the awesome personality differences that come with having two of the same sex. Someone on here a long time again said its like getting two unique presents in the same wrapping paper. And that really does kinda explain what two or three or four of the same is like. Just because the one factor is the same, doesn't mean anything else about that package is similar. And, in that way, I do think PP parents miss out on something special. Seeing just how different two boys can be from one another, how activity level and likes and socialibilty are totally different despite the child being the same sex as his brother. And I do agree that the kids get unique benefit from that as well.

I do think that it's tough to feel that left out feeling. And it's maddening to watch people get their "ideal" family without any effort or even really caring that much. I do know that folks on here and those who deal with GD appreciate when they do get that DG even more. And it probably is that same old thing people always said "You appreciate things more when you have to work for them." I hope it happens for you.

[carmella_marie]

Sorry! I feel you but like some pp said I really never wanted a pigeon pair. I love my boys TO DEATH but if I were in some alternate universe my top choice would be all girls, if not all girls than 2 of each so they could have a sibling their gender.

[2boysJustOneGirl]

The truth is I likely would have been content with two kids if I had one girl and one boy. Kids are expensive! Pregnancy is exhausting and let's face it kids change things. Once you realize they are actual little ppl (takes awhile for some!) it becomes scary and unknown territory is something that is stressful for me! Especially having boys, I have struggled to relate to my kids and that makes me sad. All I hear is how lucky my husband is for two fishing partners. Where do I fit in? I don't. Simple.

When I get my girl, Likely though HT, I will be able to have that connection with my kid that I crave. And I won't be so outnumbered by penises!


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