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  1. #11
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    Dana-Alicia's Avatar
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    Hugs to all mama's here. I do however think it's possible to move on from GD or make it a whole lot easier untill you can move forward. With the years I have come to accept this is my life and I have no daughter (anymore) in it. That is hurting a lot. And I resented a lot of people who did get their daughters or have one of each. Now that feeling has lifted since I realized that I don't care anymore what other people get. What they get, is not mine. They are not getting my daughter, not my baby. So I am not jealous. Just take some time to really look at other people's lives, do you really want what they have? Do you want their kids? Their husband? Their house? Their debt, mess, inlaws, sadness, joy, grief, family etc? My answere has always been no. Because no matter how fabulous someone's life may seem, the grass really isn't greener on their side Look at your own kids, look at their little faces, smell their hair, watch them play in the mud, watch them explore the world. Really be mindful about it. Watch your husband and feel the pride of having a son who looks like him, who has the ability to grow up like him and you, a beautiful mix between mom and dad. Work on your bound with your kids and your husband. Go out to the park, go for long walk, draw, bake, play dress up. And ensure quality time with each child individually and with your husband alone. Your family is so beautiful and they are all yours! A girl will hopefully be added to your family one day. And untill then enjoy life now. I know it sounds so easy and I know it's not. I have to work on it every day, as I am prone to depression myself. But I refuse to let GD take over the best years of my life. Of my kids life. Our time will come, we will not give up on our dreams. Untill then: love what you do have. So one day you can look back and be happy, no regrets.
    Mummy to a girl, born sleeping & two gorgeous & loud little boys

  2. #12
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    Wise words Dana-Alicia x
    2014 2016

  3. #13
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    Thanks, I have my moments every now and then I hope it doesn't come across as 'be thankfull for what you have cause other people don't have kids at all' because that's not what I mean. It has really helped me cope with the absence of a daughter in my life and to enjoy my little boys to the fullest. Especially when I see other people's daughters with snotty noses, shreeking in a high pitched voice or being bitchy and demanding. I think 'eeewww so glad you're not mine!' and then I happily wipe my sons snotty nose and deal with his tantrums and demands. Cause ey that snot is not nearly as yukky as someone else's snot. And his behavior is not narly as annoying as others people's kids behavior. He's my kid! So no, not an inch of jealousy towards other people. My kids are the bomb! Whom currently exploded toys all over the livingroom floor, sigh...
    Mummy to a girl, born sleeping & two gorgeous & loud little boys

  4. #14
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    Where do I go now?

    Lol. Very wise words indeed. What annoys me about these women is they bitch about motherhood and have NO IDEA how bad it may be for others. With all the triumphs and tribulations of being a mom, they are not also dealing with GD and have no damn idea how tough some days can be. These moms are the least grateful and make it difficult for me to accept what is.
    You are right tho...I generally dislike most peoples children regardless of the family dynamic they come from and GD only makes it worse! I tend to steer clear of PP moms like they have the plaque. I don't mind moms of only girls as I feel more equivalent around them. Let's face it...if you are as sensitive and intuitive as I am, PP moms are a lot to handle and I apologize in advance for offending anybody with that statement. It's no personal, I would likely be smug too if I was so lucky to have one of each.
    Anyway I don't think it's jealously that is the thing with me. It is more anger and that feeling of "why not me". I don't want their life. I want the life I have dreamed of.




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    2 baby boys blessed Hoping for a little girl to complete our family
    Angel baby Decemeber 23confirmedand pregnant again nowPlease, please be my little girl!

  5. #15
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    And you should have the life you dreamed of! That's why this site is here, to make dreams come true. Those smug moms will always find a way to make others feel less then they are. That is because some people like to feel superior than others. But isn't it really sad to have to act like that? I feel sorry for those women. How low must a person feel to have to put others down to help themselves up? Think about that! And know they are really not as happy and smug as they want you to think they are. Trust me, I've seen so many fairytale lives around me fall apart. People only show you what they want you to see. And the trick is not to give them permission to make you feel less. GD is a form of depression and it makes it hard to cope with life filled woth school runs, packing lunches, wiping bums, ugh taking care of kids is really exhausting. And it's too easy to think 'Betty Sue' has a perfect life with her PP. Cause you know what? Her husband is so busy working overtime lately, never helping her out with the kids and his clothes smelling like another womens perfume when he comes home... So she feels like crap. What does she do? She likes to pretend all is fine, stamping on others people's toes in the meantime in her facade. But it's not all fine and dandy. Everyone has their own battles. I'm sure I will still complain about being exhausted when my girl is here. I will bitch about so much more (PINK!) laundry. And nag about her teeting and biting my nipples. And wish for her to just go to sleep already. Cause motherhood is hard. But sheesh at least we don't have those little brats from across the road. That boy and girl are just so spoiled. And what goes on behind their doors, nobody knows. So i try to be kind to everyone. My life is not a competition, I wish everyone well. And I hope everyone understands my kids are the best and they'll have to make do with the kids they were given (I'm just kidding, I hope every mother feels as strongly about her kids as I do, if not, fake it till you make it. It's never to late to bound and realise your kid is awesome! and also accept the fact my kids can be total shites sometimes).
    Mummy to a girl, born sleeping & two gorgeous & loud little boys

  6. #16
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    Where do I go now?

    I love my boys. They have shown me more love than I ever imagined and bonding with them isn't a chore. I love being with them... All of that is separate from my desire for a daughter although I think my relationship with them may be different once I have her. I think I will love them more clearly, without the fogginess and grief that GD had laid upon me. You know what I mean?

    Where will you cycle Dana-Alicia?


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    Last edited by 2boysJustOneGirl; September 1st, 2014 at 02:39 PM.
    2 baby boys blessed Hoping for a little girl to complete our family
    Angel baby Decemeber 23confirmedand pregnant again nowPlease, please be my little girl!

  7. #17
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    Of course you love your boys! I think you describe it well, you can prob see it more clear without the burdon GD laying on you. That's why I pretend it's a sure thing, I will have a daughter. It helps lift my mood. It helps me enjoy my life more now, cause I know this is not all, there is so much more in store for us.

    I will prob cycle in Czech, I'm in Western Europe, so don't have many options as it's illegal here. It's also illegal in Czech, but there are ways around the law... I hope But if money wasn't an issue, I would either cycle with dr. Potter or Dr. Braverman, as I have immune issues. I'm counting on several cycles as I think my illness can cause problems. So we'll need to do a few trial and errors and see what works for me. In Czech it's more affordable, about 5000 euro including meds if I'm not mistaken.
    Mummy to a girl, born sleeping & two gorgeous & loud little boys

  8. #18
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    Well I hope you get your dream too! I need to embrace my life, believe I will get my girl and just move forward. I seriously hope that once I am back at work I can think less about this and appreciate my babies and husband more.


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    2 baby boys blessed Hoping for a little girl to complete our family
    Angel baby Decemeber 23confirmedand pregnant again nowPlease, please be my little girl!

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