When family members have GD

[Dana-Alicia]

I remember it so well. My mom, my sister and I had been to a huge baby convention when I was just 4 weeks pregnant with my first son. I was still grieving bad at the time for the loss of my daughter and I couldn't believe I was pregnant again, let alone I would have a healthy child. But to get my mind of all the worrying and stress, I decided to go and shop till I drop and look at all the cute baby stuff. Just to get in that happy place again about being pregnant and having a second chance at being a mom. Finally. When we were waiting at the trainstation to go home, we were talking about the gender of the baby growing inside of me and I said: I think this is a boy. And my mom said: Yes I'm afraid so... BAM! I was absolutely gutted. My mum only has girls, 4 of them, and she never made it a secret she was thrilled with that. She never liked boys, they were yukky and loud and her girls were blonde with curly's and dresses and barbiedolls and so on.

We grew up hearing to stay away from boys, boys only want one thing, I literally thought at the time boys don't have feelings. Not like we do. Boys don't know how to love, like my dad. He was there, but he wasn't there, always working and not really bothered with us. One day, I was about 15, I asked him if he ever wanted a son. he said: you always want something you don't have, but I'm happy to have you 4 girls. That was one of the very rare moments he showed some affection. He was honest, but he had come to terms with his GD. My sisters and I are girly girls. We get our nails done, always wear make up, prefer dresses over pants and so on. When I was pregnant they were not shy about wanting me to have a girl. For a girl they could go shopping for little dresses and load her with gifts and pink, glitters and unicorns. You girls can imagine how gutted I was when I heard boy twice. I had had a girl and she died. I had failed miserably. Not only did I dissapoint my family, I dissapointed myself.

Now fast forward 7 years. I now have two sons and my parents and sisters are over the moon with them. OVER THE MOON I tell you! My oldest son is so attached to my mom and my mom is so very protective over him, buys them toys all the time and her eyes light up when she talks about them. She's one of those horrible grandma's that only wants to talk about her grandkids lol. My dad and my youngest son have such a special bound as well. My dad takes the boys out on bike rides and to the carwash, he swims with them and encourages them to play sports. Stuff he never did with us, as he was always working and too tired on his days off. And you know what? These little boys have healed us in so many ways, I can't even describe. They have brought the light back in my life when it was really really dark after their sister had died. I feel we are now closer as a family and we are so very thankful to have them. Now our family has another grandson and like my sons, he gets treated like the king that he is. Not because of his gender, but because they are so precious and cute and perfect in every way. They are all so loving, kind and gentle, not at all the boys I would have expected! And I never hear my mom say a bad word about boys again, she adores them. And my dad? I think we kind of made up for his GD

I know if I ever get pregnant again and it's a boy, my family would be fine with it. It doesn't matter to them as much as it matters to me. For anyone who is experiencing GD now because of their family, I really do think your families will be blessed and feel happy either way. A boy or a girl, he/she plays a great part in your family. Don't let them get you down while you are pregnant, as they will fall in love with that helpless, wrinkly, little person that just came from your body screaming. He or she is just perfect the way he/she is. And next time, we will try to get the odds to ever be in our favour by swaying or going HT As we can and will always dream of that perfect family we always wanted. And in the end, it will be more perfect than we ever hoped for. (I'm sorry if I made any typo's - I bet i made many -, English is not my native language, my kids are trying to kill eachother in their bedroom so I'm doing this quickly lol and I just had my nails done and they're a bit too long! will read back later and adjust all the typo's, so forgive me for now)

[Kittybear]

Beautiful post Hun xxx

(And your English looked perfect to me ) xx

[deaks66]

Such a lovely post xx

[gizmo77]

Enjoyed reading! Now I want a boy even badder! ;-)

[Mrs_Incredible]

So sorry for the loss of your daughter. Xx
My mum wanted daughters, got 2. (I must ask my dad if he secretly wanted a boy, I've never got that vibe from him, so if he had gd he hid it well.) When we found out our first was a boy she said all the right things but i could tell she wished a daughter for me too. Well, like your mum, my mum was blown away with her first grandchild, she calls him "my J" still, 11 years on. Has such a special bond with him. My boys all adore her. Like she adores them. My 3 boys and my sisters boy too. Her gd towards wanting girls evaporated when she met her grandson. As much as she's loving having a granddaughter too, it's about me having a daughter she knew i wanted so badly. She just loves "her boys" x

[atomic sagebrush]

So sweet!!

I think my dad had some strong GD for a boy (he has 2 girls and lost his own biological father before he was born) and I know was at times disappointed that my half-sister and I are not into more "male" type of activities. He wanted us to go into the military and things like that. I think it's lovely that your family was able to enjoy your boys so much!! Boys are so precious.

[Dana-Alicia]

Thanks! Lovely to see your posts as well. And Gizmo, I'll send you a load of blue dust

[Dana-Alicia]

Oh and by the way, I didn't think my kids were very cute and adorable today! After I wrote this, I went into the bedroom to see what they were doing. And appearently the little gents had gotten hold of ribbon. A lot, lot, lot of ribbon. And they decided they were both spiderman. Now don't laugh. They had literally covered the entire room with the ribbon, from the lamp to the doorknob, to the windowsil and all the way around. Then they moved their 'spiderweb' downstairs. Where they continued in the hallway, all through the livingroom. ALL. THROUGH. THE. LIVINGROOM. It took me ages to get to them, as I got stuck, humming the mission impossible themesong in my head. I wish I had taken a picture, but my phone was upstairs and I couldn't bear another trip back through their glorious spiderweb. Awesome? Yes. Creative? Absolutely. But none of that came to mind when I had to cut my way through their artistic piece just to be able to take a wee. So happy this day is over and we all made it through alive...

[Mrs_Incredible]

lol! It'll make a lovely memory tho xx


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[kitkat18]

Gorgeous Dana Alicia!! Such a heart warming story I really love to hear of boy bonds, my boys are also BIG fans of their Nana and she too suffered GD when I was pregnant with both boys they really are the light of her life now!! Xxx