Team green??

[Atsaukina1]

I've always been team green but it was very hard while swaying. When my son was born I didn't even look just laid him on me and dh was asking so finally had a look. I knew it all along but also had hope that it was a girl but knew better than to get my hopes up. As far as gd, you know yourself. If you feel like you will be super depressed to hear boy I would wait till birth when you actually have all the love hormones flowing.

[KidAtHeart]

My suggestion is to go team green until close to the end of your pregnancy. Give yourself a month or two to come to grips with gd. And you can tell everyone you don't know or share when you find out. My gd was terrible with ds3 since I just *knew* it was a girl. Worse than the second 20 weeks w ds2. After he was born, I was fine! It was like I just needed to meet him. But not being prepared for me was far worse. Your dr should be able to authorize another ultrasound. I also had the tech write it down so I didn't have to face the news w a stranger, just my husband.

Fwiw, I agree w atomic. I think it's just a desire you are born with. And I think it's stronger w some than w others.

One more thing- having three boys is pretty awesome. I get lots of nice comments about them. They are very sweet and thoughtful (well, mostly, ha!).

[atomic sagebrush]

^^if you go that route, be careful because later in pregnancy is much less reliable on ultrasound. Things start to get squished in there and it becomes hard to see. A lot of the people who were told the wrong gender and ended up with a horrible shock in the delivery room were after 30 weeks.

[hopper]

I went team green with DS1. I wanted a DD since forever, coming from an all female household it was what I expected to have. I had every drug they could muster while labouring on DS1, I was more than a little in shock at the whole concept. Having spent so long focusing on the pregnancy it was surreal to be at the end with an ACTUAL REAL LIVE BABY lol. When he was born and they said Its a boy I just blanked out. I took a couple of pictures and then began to throw up from all the drugs I presume. They took DS1 and got me sorted and when I held him again I was still a little withdrawn from him. Visitors commented on it, and still bring it up actually, that I was so uninvolved when they came to visit. I was there, but wasn't - if that makes even a little bit of sense! I eventually came around and bonded with him and I feel awful remembering that time of my life cause DS1 is the light of my life now. But it is what it is.
DS2 was a different story. I knew I couldn't possibly be team green. DH pushed for me to stay team green but I booked a special US and had my suspicions confirmed at 18 weeks and again at 22 weeks. Another little boy. And I was so excited! My GD lurked in the background and I made DH promise we could try again but I was so much more involved with DS2 from finding out he was a he. I declined every single form of pain relief, even the shower lol, during his delivery and was just present, as I hadn't been on DS1. I wish I could remember both their arrivals and first month with as much fondness as I can relive DS2s arrival and first few weeks. We won't ever go team green ever again. My story is probably a little extreme but just sharing it all the same. At the end of the day it's down to the individual and the circumstances - like is this your last baby?! I'm sure my GD would have been miles worse if DS2 was our last child!

[atomic sagebrush]

It's funny because when I had my DS 1 I wanted a boy, was sure it was a boy, etc etc etc and got a boy but I did seriously still have a huge moment of shock when it was an actual real live baby! I don't think that's a GD thing, that's a first baby thing!

[Bee]

I've always thought I'd be a girl mum. I had only brothers and really, really wanted two girls. We found out with DS1 after flip flopping, and I was disappointed, but it was okay, because we planned to have 4 children.

With DS2, I decided to stay team green and loved it. I asked not to have anyone check his sex at birth and I spent a good 5 minutes just loving on this little person before I looked. Again, I'd hoped for a girl, but when I found out he was a boy there was a momentary flash of disappointment, but then nothing but joy. And brothers! Win!

DS3 was a surprise pregnancy after we had made the decision to be done (DH wanted pink and as we couldn't guarantee it, we said no more unless we were okay with either) and I had wanted to be team green again because it wouldn't matter so much once I had a baby in arms--but I was desperately hoping for pink. I caved to the pressure to find out (from DH and my own dreams of being able to design a girly nursery space) and barely held it together until we got to the car. Knowing I couldn't handle the pity and comments from people, we didn't tell anyone that we knew. Honestly I was so focused on my disappointment that I couldn't bond during the pregnancy (though I tried to get excited by making bedding and such) and even had this totally surreal moment when he was first in my arms. Kind of a "whoa, there's actually a baby at the end of this". It was never about him, but the death of my dreams. We are totally in love with him but I absolutely do regret caving. I'm in the 2ww now (non sway, attempt on a whim) and if I get a BFP I am adamant we will stay team green--once that baby is in my arms, though I'd be sad, it makes it so much easier to separate my love for this child from the loss of the dream.

[atomic sagebrush]

It's really interesting because the idea that we can know gender in pregnancy is totally evolutionarily novel and not something we are "meant" to know really. It's not something we're set up for. IT's hard to bond with a grainy ultrasound picture!

I think knowing yourself and your own responses is best because some people are probably better off finding out, others are better off waiting!