Want to be happy? Have two daughters

[Artisam]

This 'research' was a survey by bounty afaik. They make money the more babies we have so this survey is right up their street to make everyone question their family combinations! These are also the people under fire for their behaviour on maternity wards- they visit soon after labour and take photos of your new born which you can then buy. I can't actually believe they ranked the combinations! All families are a result of culture, values, genetics and experiences. If you have not read the article, please don't waste your time on it.


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[atomic sagebrush]

No statistic from an old study defines who you are or can tell you what your family dynamic will be. I grew up with a 4 girl family that had a dad that was an old NBA star. They were a wonderful family and are all super close. It does matter how the parents raise the kids. Be present. It matters. The best thing we can do is show up for our kids. The rest, we will figure out as we go but as a mom of 3 daughters, I can tell you that they are all so different and into so many things, I don't feel left out of boy things at all. When you finally move out of the baby phase, the having kids phase and can stop focusing on babies, it helps. It just does. When you are going through it, you think EVERYONE cares or has an opinion on the genders of your kids but they really don't. Nobody really cares about anyone else's family dynamics. You may think they do but they are just dealing with their own.

You will be ok. Your kids will have an awesome childhood and when they are adults, there are four of them to surround themselves with family when you and your husband are gone one day. THAT is an accomplishment and a gift.

One of the finest families I know is comprised of 6 of the most amazing young ladies I've ever met. Every one of the girls is just a super awesome and special person. They're all unique and different. One of them is a soldier, another is a psychologist, a teacher, a mom - every one of them very special ladies.

I remember life before GD and I never gave one iota of thought or energy to anyone's family makeup, other than thinking that the more unusual combos like 4 boys or 4 girls were really cool and interesting.

[BrightSky]

This is very true, before GD I couldn't have cared less what peoples families were

[Claire33]

Articles like this can really make you depressed. I think the most important thing is to invest in the relationship with all our kids, no matter which gender and no matter how many you have. Only this way will we stand a chance to have a great relationship with them later on in life (and now). Shower your kids with love, time, understanding, fun and hugs. After that, we have to leave it to fate...

[lindz]

I don't think anyone would change their family's makeup at the end of the day. Ya they might have it more difficult than others, but there can also be more happiness there. My husband grew up in a family of 6, and he loved it. So much going on all the time, and he feels that big families have more fun. I was annoyed when I read the title of the article that 2 girls is the combo that makes you the most happy. Apparently having one boy already takes you out of the running of being happier than an all girl family. One of my friends has two daughters, but her husband kinda sucks. She does pretty much all of the work around the house and does everything for their girls. Even if her daughters end up being angels compared to my son and the one on the way, I still have it way easier because I have my husband's help and support

[atomic sagebrush]

I think that you have to just take it with a very big grain of salt. Just because some stupid "survey" - because this is not a study, it's a psychological survey - says somebody claims to be "happier" than someone else - well, they don't have our lives and haven't lived our lives and so not they nor anyone else knows if they are "happier" than us or not, and beyond that, that anyone's happiness has squat to do with the gender of their babies or not. Seriously, even after having suffered with GD - I can tell you that my overall level of unhappiness in my own life has sooooo much more to do with other things like health, money, husband-related issues, dealing with our extended families, jobs, TV shows I like or don't, cute clothes, delicious noms, heck, even the weather sometimes LOL.

I really think that when you're in it ("it" being GD) you forget that there's all this other stuff going on in the world and in your life, and it colors everything. But seriously, my kids' gender is a drop in the bucket in terms of things that make or have made me happy or sad over the course of my life. And if you (and I don't mean YOU, lindz, I mean "a person") are in such a position in your life that having a baby of a certain gender is literally the saddest, worst, thing that ever happened to you, then really, you're kinda lucky - if that makes sense. I don't mean this to take away from anyone's GD experience, just trying to put it into perspective that the idea that anyone's level of happiness is contingent on them having 2 boys vs. 2 girls or some other arbitrary combo of children's genders - that person is spoiled just about rotten because that means everything else in their lives has to be going pretty dang good for them to put that down as the thing on which their happiness is riding on.