Waiting to find out gender..

[laurelw]

How do you get by while waiting? I keep worrying how I am going to react if baby isn't the gender we swayed for. I know I will love baby either way.. but I know there will be some disappointment too. I'm 7 weeks so a long way off but I keep worrying and won't even let myself think it's the gender we swayed for.. I thought I was going to be ok either way but I'm not as ok as I thought..


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[ksmom]

Leading up to finding out, I just told myself what will be, will be. The outcome can't be changed since gender has already been decided. Hope you get your desired gender.

[laurelw]

Leading up to finding out, I just told myself what will be, will be. The outcome can't be changed since gender has already been decided. Hope you get your desired gender.

If you didn't get your sway, how did you process that. I wonder if I should talk to someone about how I feel?


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[ksmom]

I had a really hard time after getting an opposite. I had high hopes I'd get a girl after swaying for so long and having losses. It just took time for me to accept it. Once DS3 was born, it got a little easier. I'm finally more at peace with it but that may be because we're going HT or doing adoption for a girl. I highly, highly recommend talking to someone you know IRL that you can trust. Keeping your feelings bottled up will only worsen it. Even just talking to other ladies on here that have experienced GD are great to talk to. There are many ladies here, myself included, that got sway opposites. Feel free to vent here.

[atomic sagebrush]

I have just been in contact with a gal who had a very, very bad reaction to waiting until the birth. If you have ONE SPECK of doubt about it I strongly urge you guys to find out.

Oh crap rereading this I think you mean waiting until ultrasound, not birth??

I do think you're best off just assuming it's another of what you already have as much as possible. The hope will sneak in now and then but the people who handle opposites the worst are the ones who are just sooo convinced the sway has worked. Those people often will fall very hard and I think just guard your heart.

[ChezIBY]

I have just been in contact with a gal who had a very, very bad reaction to waiting until the birth. If you have ONE SPECK of doubt about it I strongly urge you guys to find out.

Oh crap rereading this I think you mean waiting until ultrasound, not birth??

I do think you're best off just assuming it's another of what you already have as much as possible. The hope will sneak in now and then but the people who handle opposites the worst are the ones who are just sooo convinced the sway has worked. Those people often will fall very hard and I think just guard your heart.

Thanks very much for this Atomic, I think it answers a question many of us face before even TTC and swaying - how will I deal with it if the 'sway fails'? You've provided a precise scenario that sounds very logical - sway with all you've got but once you know you're pregnant and until you find out the gender, go about like it's the opposite. Then a 'successful sway' will be a pleasant surprise while you're less likely to bash yourself around and wonder if it is the one thing you ate/didn't eat a month ago that changed everything if you get an opposite, cause you'll be expecting an opposite. Makes sense

[Bobster]

I feel worried about this too. I've not even started my sway yet. I think I'm subconsciously sure I'm going to have a boy and I'm so so scared of how I will deal with that. It's really hard as I know I'll love and cherish another little boy but the hole in my heart will get bigger for a daughter.

Sometimes I don't know if I should go for no.3 because of this worry. On the other hand I think I will live with regret if I don't try again. Also I love babies and the thought of not carrying one again (whatever the gender) makes me so sad. When I feel broody for baby cuddles again I always instinctively imagine a little baby dressed in blue. Perhaps that is a sign.