When do you say 'enough is enough' ??

[motherofboys]

How do you know when to call it a day?
Dh recently agreed to sway in the new year. Then I had a really bad GD dip. The worst I've had in a long long time.
Now I'm out the other side I just don't know if I can continue doing that to myself.
Maybe it's time to just call it a day?
I could be happy with my 4 boys, but I'm so scared that I'll regret it one day.
I just feel so exhausted from constantly living in the future. Always planning ahead, hoping but not wanting to hope. Even during my last couple of pregnancies I was planning when to go for the next.
I know in my heart that if I had a girl already, I'd be happy to stop at 4, in spite of planning 6 when we first started out.
How do you decide that there isn't going to be that one more chance (which I know if it's a boy there's the temptation of another one more chance)


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[purplepoet20]

I understand how you feel. Weeks before DS3 was conceived I was convinced that I would be happy with just 2 boys. After I got preg I was sure it was a girl and then started to feel it was a boy. I had to wait until I was 36wks to know it was a boy. I was happy to have another boy but I did miss the thought of having a girl. When we found out that DS3 lost twin was a girl it hit both of us really hard. Sometimes I feel God is not going to let me have a girl. I was abused by an aunt and my mother because they believed that you have to have boys to keep a man. I have often wondered if God thinks I am like them and will not give me a girl. I used to be afraid of having a girl because I thought I would somehow be like my mother and abuse a daughter. Now I know I could never do that. I love having boys since I was a tomboy but my husband who is his mothers only child wants his little girl back and wants to give his mom her first granddaughter.

I do in a way want to be done having kids but sometimes I wonder what if I get a girl or what if I have another boy. Is it all worth it. Will I be happy years down the road.... and then my boys do something silly and I know I couldn't live without any of my boys. I love doing outdoor things with them and all their activities so I know I would continue to be happy.

I have decided to continue trying until I am 35yo (sept 2016). until then I am trying for a girl but if I have another boy then I am ok with that. since I would be over 35 when I would finish BFing #4 I will not be trying again. DH and I will both be fixed.

There will always be the what-ifs in your mind, that is what makes us human.

[motherofboys]

I keep thinking I don't have to decide now, I can wait and decide in a year or 2 but the I'm still living in the future and still hoping. And I'd never regret another, but if I never have a girl I'll always think what if the next one was a girl. Such a difficult choice to make.

[Magical22]

I have no idea to this question I have 2 boys, would go a third to try for a girl but what if it's a boy?? Then I face gender disappointment and a life time of smart comments from everyone about having 3 boys


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[Princess Mom]

I am kinda different but can relate to the question. I am asking myself the same question, I know I would be devested if I cant have another daughter, yep another I have
DS 7 DD 5 DS 11 months.
Since I found out my 11 month old was a boy I knew I wanted to try again for a girl, I did want him to be a boy though for my son, he is surrounded by so many girls. But I have a want inside of me I can not let go, and to top it off so does my daughter, she is always asking for a sister and gets so sad when she watches "full house" the TV show with the 3 sisters. I have 2 sisters and all her friends at school have sisters. And I just don't want to disappoint myself or her. My husband doesn't care about the gender. I am doing cut offs for 3 cycles now, I ovulate tomorrow or might be now, ph is 4.5 and wondering if my 1 attempt will work and if it does is it a girl? Or should I just called it quits, bad thing is I'm only 27 and DH is going to be 39 and doesn't want to be 40 and having kids. So I'm unsure also, but all I can do is pray for another daughter.


Best of luck ladies, I really wish you all the best on having daughters. Every mom should have a daughter

[trifecta]

I have no idea to this question I have 2 boys, would go a third to try for a girl but what if it's a boy?? Then I face gender disappointment and a life time of smart comments from everyone about having 3 boys


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I have the same dilemma and it's so hard to decide. I think I could happily raise a third boy if he was as wonderful as the two I'm raising. I even have an amazon list and secret pinterest board for my hypothetical third son! I know it's irrational but the idea of people thinking I had failed somehow, or my being the butt of people's jokes, or having people think my third boy was less essential eats me up. I can imagine a happy future parenting another boy but when it comes to dealing with other people I don't think I would handle that part of it well at all, not even the well-meaning comments. I know it's my own failing that I can't just put aside what other people think of me but it's a struggle.

[motherofboys]

I'm 28 but my husband turned 46 this month. I know he'd like to be done but has been holding out for a girl. I keep thinking I was always happy with boys, I wanted boys. I've been lucky to get them, and all healthy. I was lucky I didn't want a girl from the beginning, I've only been through major GD since ttc ds4. Dh wanted a girl first time round.
I think we could have a good life, we could manage ok with 4. With 5 we could manage too, but less comfortably.
I still get very broody though but I don't know if I always would.


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[Adia]

Such a hard gamble....we all want to look back on our life when we are older and be glad we took the risks we took, but this is a tough one.

[motherofboys]

I don't want to be trying 'just to get a girl' I guess I have a small window of time that I can wait to decide. If I could be sure it was a girl I'd go for it. Don't know if it's easier to avoid the heart break completely


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[Magical22]

I have the same dilemma and it's so hard to decide. I think I could happily raise a third boy if he was as wonderful as the two I'm raising. I even have an amazon list and secret pinterest board for my hypothetical third son! I know it's irrational but the idea of people thinking I had failed somehow, or my being the butt of people's jokes, or having people think my third boy was less essential eats me up. I can imagine a happy future parenting another boy but when it comes to dealing with other people I don't think I would handle that part of it well at all, not even the well-meaning comments. I know it's my own failing that I can't just put aside what other people think of me but it's a struggle.

Yes I totally get this. It's probably because when I was pregnant with DS2 when I mentioned he was a boy I got so many inappropriate comments. I felt like I had to defend my son before he was even born. On Dh side of the family it's just male dominated soooo much pressure to have a girl it's unbelievable. When I think of having a third I feel so much pressure to please everyone. When I said nope no more I'm stopping now the pressure was all gone. But I do still want a third... I feel so torn.


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