Two failed sways

[Lastsong]

Got the news yesterday that our second away has failed and we'll be welcoming a third boy in October.

I know it will get easier. But right now I wish I hadn't pushed my husband to go for "just one more". I thought I knew where my sway had failed last time, so I thought it would be okay. I have to be the unluckiest person in the world for a fairly strict sway to fail twice, and I don't know what I did so wrong to not be allowed the one thing I want more than anything in the world.

I truly don't mind another boy. I'd have a house full if there was that hope of a girl to hang onto. But there no longer is, three is the absolute limit. And that is what is hurting right now. Knowing that this is the end and I need to let go of those dreams.

[Kittybear]

Posted to soon; I was editing it when I saw your response. My congratulations on your pregnancy and healthy baby was not meant to cause you more pain. I said that as I didn't want to hear other's pity when I had my opposite. Of course another boy will be lovely and a blessing on your family, and you Are of course entitled to grieve your girl.

I too swayed hard for a long time, and I was devastated to hear that the little girl I was sure I was expecting was 'another' boy. I'd have to go through labour, worry about if my GD would become pnd etc all over again.
Fast forward 8 months and I see now why he is here. He is determined, tenacious, opinionated (just like me lol)!! & he is wonderful, gorgeous, smiley and has a very special place in my heart. I figured if he was the only boy sperm amongst all the girls because of my sway, he pushed them all out of the way, as determined as he was to exist!
Your new boy will be loved so much, you know that already. The thing about GD is that the longing for your desired gender does not diminish the love for your kids.
I'm so sorry if I upset you Hun, it was not meant and I know how I felt whilst preggo (it really is the worst time right now). Be kind and gentle to yourself xxx

[Lastsong]

Please don't say congratulations. It's a word I hate in this situation - it feels so false when its said when there's been no success. I'd rather "another boy will be wonderful" or just commiserations. He'll be celebrated in time, but right now I need to grieve my hopes and dreams.

[pink_bean]

I'm sorry you didn't hear girl. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, I understand you are grieving. Your feelings are valid, vent as much as you need to...wishing you peace.

[Bambi]

Please don't say congratulations. It's a word I hate in this situation - it feels so false when its said when there's been no success. I'd rather "another boy will be wonderful" or just commiserations. He'll be celebrated in time, but right now I need to grieve my hopes and dreams.

This is how I feel too. I know they mean to be nice but that word just doesn't fit after hearing "bad news".

I'm sorry you didn't hear a girl. I know your feelings exactly. I have swayed 3 times for a girl and have 3 boys. The 2 first sways were based onto timing (which I did "wrong" anyway) and taking calcium, magnesium etc. After my DS2 I found this site and had a personalized plan made for me. My sway failed and I had my DS3. We were meant to leave it at 3, but I just can't. I've already told my DH that we need to try once more and I'm interested in HT. I just can't let go of that dream. I wish I could though - it would make my life so much easier if I could just enjoy what I have.

Do you have anyone to talk about this? Someone who understands and doesn't judge you? I've seen a therapist because of my GD and I find it really helps. I hope you'll get over this somehow <3


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[JenB17]

Hi Lastsong - another one here who can totally relate. I was sad when we found out DS2 was 'another' boy (expecially when all my friends at the time were ALL having their girls after a boy - I was the only one having a second boy). He is an absolute delight So I then found this site and spent about 2years following it (and trying to convince DH to have another baby). If I had had a girl second time round I honestly don't think I would have gone for baby 3 as we aren't in the 'best' financial state. However after 4months on diet and trying my best with my sway we got pregnant. I did not want to find out gender and I didn't. But all the way through I really wanted to hope girl, but I had a 95% boy gut feeling. Nub suggested boy too. Sure enough DS3 was born in Sep. Well - he is just the most adorable sweet and easy going little baby! His big brothers STILL adore him 7months in and I have absolutely loved dressing him in the same clothes as my other boys wore, playing with the same toys etc and watching them all together is wonderful.
I will say though that my desire for a daughter hasn't gone and there is absolutely no way we could have another baby. This last baby has put a strain on DH so anymore kids would come with a divorce too!!! I find some days sad but most days fine. I still find it hard to accept that so many people seem to pop out one of each and there me that can only seem to produce one sex! So many people have said that it gets easier over time. But (as you already know!) it doesn't mean I love my boys any less. My DS3 is just gorgeous and I am loving every minute with him.
Not sure if this post is actually of any help, but just wanted to share that I am in the same boat (just a few months on from you!). Im here to talk any time as I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. Every day though I count my lucky stars that I have three gorgeous happy healthy children and ultimately that's what its all about. Hugs to you xxxxxx

[3littleladies]

You did nothing wrong in your sway its just not meant to be, you are blessed with another boy & it will all be clear to you one day as to why you have been given 3 boys.
Just know there's always someone out there who wld love your family dynamic.

[Adia]

Hang in there honey, the disappointment of the 3rd of the same gender is raw and real.

I promise time will ease the ache and you will find a way to cope, I promise this from many years of experience. Big hugs mama!

[debby]

I am sorry you didn't hear 'girl', it happened to me the same thing, failed sway with DS2 and DS3, then I had HT and I got my DD. I hope the same for you

[qbswzz]

sorry to hear this