Not so lucky this time, my third sway (for a boy) has not worked :-(

[SpottyBear]

Yesterday we had our first scan (13+1) and there was a very very clear and definite girl nub. I saw it throughout the scan and its visible in every single picture, there is sadly absolutely no hope of a boy.

I wasn't even sure if I would get any sort of nub picture yesterday and all of a sudden I did and its a definite girl and the hoping for a boy is all over just like that.

We are going to confirm at the 20 week scan, but it is absolutely a given now that its a girl.

Thanks for reading I just really needed to talk about it and I really need to pull myself together too.

[SpottyBear]

Trying the pic again.

[Traci25]

I am in your situation but opposite gender 3rd boy and I'm devasted. I'm dreading tellig my dd she wanted a siter so badly. I know wish I went Ivf route. I have no advice but let you know your not alone. I wish I wasn't pregnant rt now. I hate this feeling. I swayed so hard. My heart is broken. It sounds like your is too.

[atomic sagebrush]

They did get very lucky to have two of each. To me that's like hitting a lottery or something.

I'm really sorry it didn't go your way. I wish I had all the answers to this puzzle but I don't.

[Traci25]

HAs it gotten any better for you? I'm struggling and I just wanted a dd so desperately. I don't want this pregancy and pray I misscariage. I hate myself for thinking that way. I just want to feel better and be excited

[SpottyBear]

Thanks Traci and Atomic
Sorry for the late reply, I just needed to stay away for a little while and will again after this.

Traci I am feeling a lot better than I did initially and the crying stopped after 24 hours. In fact that evening we even talked names and choose a name for our DD and that made me feel SOOO much better. In fact I thought GD was gone for good but it has come back since just not as bad. But I have to and am determined to get past this. I read someone else dealing with GD saying "F**K Gender" and do you know saying that out loud at bad moments has helped a bit!
I really really hope you can start to feel better soon Traci, its so tough. I'll be thinking of you xx

[Traci25]

It's actually getting harder for me, I'm so sad my dd hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like a fool for trying again. I hate gd

[Traci25]

So glad your feeling better! I'm trying

[Throwaway_panther]

I want to offer you tons of empathy -- I'm so sorry your heart was set on this and it's not working out. I admit I'm still jealous you at least had the security of having at least one boy -- I worry I'll never have a boy, and I think like Traci, my feelings on a possible failed sway veer a lot darker than many people on here. Regardless, you acknowledging your harder to acknowledge thoughts and feelings is good, I think -- acknowledging and then letting your mind process (even if you're just sleeping!) is good.

I also wanted to add: you didn't necessarily go "wrong" with your sway at all. No sway is 100%; no lack of sway is 100%. We are, ultimately, still at the will of our partners with their Y chromosomes (which we don't have!) and chance. Perfect sways still can yield opposites because that's just how it goes :/ which is unnerving for all of us, I think. And frankly, I've seen several girl and/or boy sways on here with opposites that I thought, "Well, why did she do such and such? No wonder..." and I don't feel that way too strongly with yours at all. Even in terms of BD, I know of very recent successful boy sways where they DTD once (and hey, I DTD multiple times with Os and still got a girl )

I will also say, since you said it's the first time you found out the sex before birth: I think it's good you did. People have different feelings on this, but I personally think wrestling with the GD during pregnancy is easier than having the nervousness and/or excitement around birth get crushed. Granted, I've yet to HAVE a birth yet, but I seriously can't imagine having gone through my own pregnancy and being disappointed at the end (especially when so many people, who don't know what we're having, have guessed it's my desired sex).

[SpottyBear]

Throwawaypanter
Thanks very much for your post, I'm very sorry only replying now, I've been keeping away for a while.
I'm very happy to say that I am feeling so so much better and really have totally accepted our 3rd dd to be! I'm still being careful not to dwell on some things but have definitely moved on a huge amount :-)


And if I can reassure you at all when you have your own baby in your arms it will feel so different than what for now you can only imagine. It so hard to imagine what it will all feel like when its your first. And the love for your baby will be your most overwhelming feelings! Well there are lots of other less pleasant overwhelming feelings like exhaustion and what do I do now etc etc! But I hope you feel a lot better with your gd when your own special baby is in your arms and you are a mom :-) And if you don't you know you'll get lots of support here :-) Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy!!

Oh just seen you are due in June, maybe she has already arrived!!!! Hope all went/goes well :-)