How to get over gender disappointment?

[MrsSparkles]

That doesn't surprise me, my DH is the same type of guy. Just know I can read that pain between the lines and when you tell him things like you did last night and you mean them like that, you ARE helping him heal and thus yourself too! I am glad my words could mean so much. I was hoping they would. Big big big hugs.

They really mean the world.
You're such a kind soul xxxx

[Drunken Cockatoo]

I didn't have time to read all the answers. But I just wanted to tell you that I could relate to you so much in your posts. I felt so so much the same and was shocked by my feelings ... combined with some deep sadness, anxiety and loneliness. My son is now three years old and he seriously is the love of my life. Like he is the child I was always supposed to have and didn't know. Holding and seeing him for the first time was the most beautiful moment in my life. The first year was very hard. Many of my friends had girls and my baby was very active and slept little. But after his first birthday our bond grew even stronger. I am so in love with his blue eyes, his handsome face, his humor, the way he talks, the way he plays outside and with other kids, the way he reminds me of my husband in some weeks. The way he looks so much like me in other weeks. The way he calls me "Mummy" and huggs me so tightly when I come home from work. The way he is so so happy when I read him a story before his sleep. The way he says "I love you so much" out of the blue.

It will be frustrating and there will be sadness and jealousy and so on. But it will also be incredible and such a wonder and so beautiful

Hugs

[MrsSparkles]

I didn't have time to read all the answers. But I just wanted to tell you that I could relate to you so much in your posts. I felt so so much the same and was shocked by my feelings ... combined with some deep sadness, anxiety and loneliness. My son is now three years old and he seriously is the love of my life. Like he is the child I was always supposed to have and didn't know. Holding and seeing him for the first time was the most beautiful moment in my life. The first year was very hard. Many of my friends had girls and my baby was very active and slept little. But after his first birthday our bond grew even stronger. I am so in love with his blue eyes, his handsome face, his humor, the way he talks, the way he plays outside and with other kids, the way he reminds me of my husband in some weeks. The way he looks so much like me in other weeks. The way he calls me "Mummy" and huggs me so tightly when I come home from work. The way he is so so happy when I read him a story before his sleep. The way he says "I love you so much" out of the blue.

It will be frustrating and there will be sadness and jealousy and so on. But it will also be incredible and such a wonder and so beautiful

Hugs

Your son sounds like a terrific lil guy.
You sound like an amazing Mummy.
Thank you for sharing with me, and I hope I feel all those things with my lil guy - I am so excited to meet him now.
Only 22 weeks to go !

[EVERAFTER]

Hi MrsSparkle, I feel like I could have written your post myself. I felt like this only a few months ago. Gender disappointment is real and I found this forum really helpful and reading other people stories in the same situation. I felt like such a horrible person also. I really wish I had the answer for you and could make it go away, as GD is awful. When your son is born you will fall in love, and not want to replace him. Hang in there I hope you feel better soon

100 % agree. I was devestated and depressed for the first 3 months. Then disconnected for he next three. Later in the pregnancy I was more nervous I would reject the baby and not bond. I didn't trust that people said I would love him once he's born. I am in LOVE with my boy. Gaga for him. Obsessed. Perhaps it's reverse guilt. But the love is real! I still want my daughter and am struggling with doing ivf specifically just for pink. I'd love to have another daughter naturally and I know I would love a son again, but I also know that we can only have two and my heart would always be missing a her...


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[MrsSparkles]

Wanted to update anyone who was so kind as to offer me words of support, you lifted me up in my darkest moments.
Thank you for everyone who contributed.

It's been so good lately, my DH and I have been really connected and connecting to the lil boy growing inside me.
He keeps telling me how different this pregnancy is compared to his ex wife, and that he truly does believe that I am happy.

Since starting to feel movements 10 days ago, the bond I feel for this lil boy is so strong.

Yes, I still harbour a desire that he may become a big brother and have a sister.
But it's not strong, and I am not thinking far ahead now, and just staying in the moment and enjoying every minute of this pregnancy.

Thank you all xx