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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by ksmom View Post
    I'm so sorry you've been feeling down Bee. I always assumed as well that I would have at least one of each. I've been dreaming of having a daughter since I was little really. Idk why I thought I'd have one of each because I certainly new it's possible to have all one gender! It just sucks that it seems like those who don't care what gender they have, always end up with one of each. I was supposed to be in the due date group you were in on here but that was an early loss. I've always wondered what gender that baby would have been (along with the other two I lost). I see so many successful pink sways here and it tempts me so much to give it another try but I know I could not handle hearing boy again as we only plan to have four kids.
    I'm sorry you're struggling with PPD. Have you sought help? I don't have depression but like you I am very overwhelmed with my three right now simply because of their ages (5, 3, and 3 mo) and because DH works so much that I'm on my own with no one else to help out. I said the same thing to DH that you said about not being able to accept not having a daughter. I told him that during my pregnancy with DS3 and since then we've talked about HT or adoption. I don't know which is the right choice. I feel selfish for even wanting to spend that much in the first place and I worry my boys will think they weren't enough for me. I also don't know how I'd cope with another child. I'd need to wait until my boys are out of the toddler and baby phase.
    Thank you for being so honest about your feelings, I really appreciate it. Even though I hate seeing other people suffer from GD, it's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

    Btw, the friend I posted about originally, she ended up announcing she's having her third boy.
    Part of me is relieved but then the other part of me wonders if she, like me, desperately wanted a girl but kept quiet about it. I hate GD and wish that no one ever had to go through it.
    Hey ksmom,

    Just wanted to give you a high-five and say I am hoping you feel better now than when you first started this thread. Reading over the posts about women feeling GD, I feel I'd give up my own chance of ever having a mixed gender offspring family just so that every woman on here can get her dream. Argh, I don't know what to say, wish it wasn't so hard!

    Some small thoughts - I really do not think that you are selfish about wanting to spend a lot of time/money on HT or adoption!! Come on, money is a means, what else should you spend it on if not on your dreams?

    Also definitely agree that if you feel you've got your hands full at the moment with three you should wait a bit (maybe using this time to plan how exactly and if/when you want to try again, speaking with DH, sorting through your thoughts/feelings, weighing the different options - that way when you are ready for number four you'll have a game plan ready!) Plus of course it is necessary to prepare mentally for number four turning out to be a boy too, unless you guys adopt (dunno if one can choose the gender when adopting?)

    I really don't think you have to give up your dream or feel selfish about not giving it up - dunno about your personal circumstances of course, but we all have Atomic's example and how she finally got her DD - but after waiting so long and working so hard! So it is still possible.

    Your friend is really cool for making a special gender reveal party for a third kid who is the same gender as her two first! So refreshing! Not a 'let's rub it into everyone's face that I got the other kind' but just a 'let's celebrate this kid here and now' thing If she is a close friend, maybe you two could talk sometime one on one and you could find out how she feels about DS3? Plus you guys are both going to have three boys now, she will maybe have heard some similar comments to what you have had.. anyway, friends, real friends, are great to lean on, as well as the ladies on the forums here

    I am not sure that any of this is helpful at all.. but if nothing else, know that reading over your posts about your longing for a DD has made me more grateful about having my own DD who is due this summer! I realize that I'll have something a lot of women want, this is very heartening. You are in my thoughts and - best of luck!! I really hope it can happen for you further down the line, we're all in this for the long haul; it ain't over till it's over I say!
    Happily married to DH
    Darling July 2017
    bundle expected April 2019! Confirmed Boy !!! Thank you Atomic and Gender Dreaming, thank you!!
    Here's to our happy bunch !!!
    again for May 2021 following another blue sway. Confirmed Boy! Thank you for another succesful sway GD!!
    again in 2024, bundle expected September '24. Seriously debating going team Green this time

    To those who have everything, more will be given.

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  3. #12
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    Thank you Chez for your kind words. Congrats on your DD and blue dust to you. Xx
    '12
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    Dreaming of pink through HT or adoption
    FET January 2021: 1 HBAA XX - BFN
    FET #2 August 2022: 1 HBAA XX - BFP!

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  5. #13
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    I am so much with you. I just found out I am pregnant with my 4th son, and I am already thinking it was a mistake not to get the abortion instead of hoping our surprise baby would be our girl. All hope it over now, we will never have more than 4, 4 is already a lot more than we ever wanted. We just wanted a girl.
    2011, 2013, 2016 - DREAMING

  6. #14
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this Momof3boy. Many of us have gone through the heartbreak of gender disappointment. It's so unfair how many people get girls without even trying. I hope in time you're able to make peace with having another boy. ((Hugs))
    '12
    '14
    '15 '15 '16
    🌈 '17 (LE sway opposite)

    Dreaming of pink through HT or adoption
    FET January 2021: 1 HBAA XX - BFN
    FET #2 August 2022: 1 HBAA XX - BFP!

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  8. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by ksmom View Post
    I'm so sorry you're going through this Momof3boy. Many of us have gone through the heartbreak of gender disappointment. It's so unfair how many people get girls without even trying. I hope in time you're able to make peace with having another boy. ((Hugs))
    Thank you. Yes it really feels so unfair. I cannot count how many who said to me "no 4 would be a girl". I don't know anyone who had four of the same. No 3 or 4 is always the oppeesite. Except for me. I have not idea how to tell everyone. We are going to move from the Middle East in a few weeks. We had a lot of help heee and it is going to be really though to be back in Denmark where there is no help at all. I am afraid I am just from that going to get a depression.


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    2011, 2013, 2016 - DREAMING

  9. #16
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    If it makes you feel any better at all, my dental hygienist's sister has 4 kids, all boys and she says it's so much fun! I also have a few mom friends that have 4+ boys. I'll admit that after DS3 was born I felt a bit depressed. Taking a break from social media really helped a lot.
    I'm sorry you're not going to have any help after your move. I'm struggling most days myself with just three kids. Having even just one mom friend can make a big difference so if you can make one that may help.
    '12
    '14
    '15 '15 '16
    🌈 '17 (LE sway opposite)

    Dreaming of pink through HT or adoption
    FET January 2021: 1 HBAA XX - BFN
    FET #2 August 2022: 1 HBAA XX - BFP!

  10. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Momof3boy View Post
    Thank you. Yes it really feels so unfair. I cannot count how many who said to me "no 4 would be a girl". I don't know anyone who had four of the same. No 3 or 4 is always the oppeesite. Except for me. I have not idea how to tell everyone. We are going to move from the Middle East in a few weeks. We had a lot of help heee and it is going to be really though to be back in Denmark where there is no help at all. I am afraid I am just from that going to get a depression.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    ksmom must be right about the taking a break from social media - I feel like there is so much pressure from the people around us, FB, TV and whatever. It kind of creates an idea of the family we want or think we want, and then we start to get GD, feel desperate and distressed when we don't manage to get that family.

    Not sure I know anyone IRL who has four boys either - but that is probably cause most people I know have three kids max, and I do know many families with three of the same! Plus, scrolling through the forums here, one can see that it does happen quite often. More to the point, what does sound not-so-great is that you'll have no one to help, particularly as you already feel down - is there any way at all you can get anyone to help a bit once you do move? I feel (excuse me for butting in, but I just felt for you and hope my two cents can help) that it would be great for you not to be left by yourself during this time; are there any like social events where you can meet up with new people, get distracted? Also, maybe you could plan doing some stuff you like directly follwoing the move, take it easy and sort of slide into your new life gradually? Best of luck in any case, we just moved last month ourselves, it is always a shake up during the first weeks. In any case empty your heart out on the forums here when you feel like it's getting too much, the ladies on here are all so nice. Thinking of you, all the best! <3
    Happily married to DH
    Darling July 2017
    bundle expected April 2019! Confirmed Boy !!! Thank you Atomic and Gender Dreaming, thank you!!
    Here's to our happy bunch !!!
    again for May 2021 following another blue sway. Confirmed Boy! Thank you for another succesful sway GD!!
    again in 2024, bundle expected September '24. Seriously debating going team Green this time

    To those who have everything, more will be given.

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