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  1. #1
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Eastern Washington State, USA
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    Celebrate Intro to Swaying LIBRARY - General Swaying Info Found HERE

    Hi! Welcome to the Intro to Swaying LIBRARY, an attempt to house all the sway info under one roof for easier reading. These are just the essays without the discussion afterwards - if you have a question or comment about any of these topics, follow the posted link to read the original essay, the discussion about it, and to ask questions on any of these topics.

    These are the introductory, basic, philosophical, theoretical type of threads, the ones you might like to read once but prob. won't use on a day-to-day basis.

    If you ever see a mistake...

    PLEASE let me know! There is so much information from so many different sources that I have not always had time to hunt down and double and triple check things, so if I got if from a source that was inaccurate or if I misunderstood or typed something in wrong or if something has changed since I heard about it, then things may not always be 100% correct or accurate.

    My goal is to have everything on this site as accurate and up-to-date as possible and I ALWAYS want to know if something is wrong or doesn't make sense. And if you've heard about other information that contradicts what I am saying (of which there is a lot) please let me know. I will be happy to explain further and/or doublecheck my advice.

    Thank you so much!!

    NEW TO GENDER SWAYING? READ THIS! (most of the links are simply to the essays I reposted below in this Intro to Swaying Library.)

    Hi! We're so happy you found us! We're not like the other swaying sites and here is why!! and and and
    If you are an IG refugee, please read this essay to know the difference between what we advise here and what they advise on IG.

    If you read things that seem confusing or scary, ASK! We love questions and there are real, scientific reasons for every tidbit of info on this site. If something doesn't seem right to you, ASK. We are humans and make mistakes now and then, or maybe you've seen some info that we don't have.

    Here is a list of the most basic introductory threads that you might want to read before you jump in!!

    Abbreviation Translation (all those annoying acronyms, defined):

    The Complete Index (atomic's swaying essays)

    Abbreviation Translation (all those annoying acronyms, defined):

    The Complete Index (atomic's swaying essays)!!!

    The Most Dangerous Things for Swaying:

    Overview of Different Sway Strategies:!

    Personalizing your sway:

    Planning a Blue Sway:

    Planning a Pink Sway:
    Last edited by nuthinbutpink; June 29th, 2013 at 09:19 AM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  2. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    IG vs. GD swaying? What's the difference? And who is this Atomic Sagebrush, anyway?? (original essay and comments here:

    ...or, "why should I take gender swaying advice from a chick with 4 sons??"

    UPDATED - I am now pregnant with a daughter!! Thank you Robert Trivers, Dan Willard, Satoshi Kanazawi, Valerie Grant, Elissa Cameron, Melissa Larson, Fiona Matthews, Sarah Hrdy, with special mention for Charles Darwin, Richard Dawkins, and EO Wilson, and the many others who have done invaluable research into declining maternal condition and gender ratio.

    This story actually doesn't begin with me, it begins with the creation of the InGender site back in 2006. InGender was originally a group of ladies who came together on a message board for support with gender disappointment and it branched out from there. Some of these ladies ended up using the newest technology (PGD and Microsort) to get their desired genders while others scoured studies and articles looking for natural methods (beyond Shettles, who nearly everyone had tried and failed at).

    Altho Tamara has become ubiquitous with IG swaying, there were actually dozens of people who worked on the sway in the early days, including a biologist who had access to a lot of awesome studies in the days before studies were widely available online, and a woman who singlehandedly translated the entire French Gender Diet from French into English!! The data that these intrepid gals came up with, gradually over the course of several years, evolved into the IG-style sway. It included timing (either cutoff or O+12 for pink, BD at O for a boy), diet (mostly centered around the FGD but also including some other elements), hormones (raising progesterone for pink, raising testosterone and estrogen for blue), pH (lowering pH for pink, raising it for blue), ions (neg for girls, pos for blue), and supplements (which helped with pH, diet, ions, and hormones.)

    The IG philosophy is (altho that has changed a bit lately, with diet being given slightly more importance than it once was) that all these things swayed equally and should be given equal weight, and if you did not want to include one of them, that would ruin your sway. In fact, I have been told that sways that don't include all 7 sway factors are not even included in the statistics and so when you look at the IG stats, always keep in mind that many, many sways are not included in this data. Most everyone is quite familiar already with the IG-Style sway (and if you are not, the IG FAQ has been posted in the Dream Members section for IG-style swayers to use when the IG site is non-functional) so I won't elaborate any more than that.

    Anyway, that brings me, to, well, me. I am just a mom like you guys and like the ladies who did the original IG research, no fancy credentials. I had two sons in my early 20's without swaying at all. I had zero gender disappointment with either and really loved being a boy mom and still do. In fact, I particularly wanted a boy with DS 1 and happily got him. I had always wanted a big family of 5 or 6 and just assumed like we all do, that there would be at least one girl in the mix. Unfortunately, life sort of got in the way of that plan and we kept postponing having more kids until we had a bigger house, more money, better timing, but it never happened, and eventually it became glaringly apparent that if we waited any longer for those things to fall into place, there would BE no more children. I went to work for 2 years to get us into a good financial situation to help support having more babies, and by that time, 13 years had passed since I had my last child.

    We started TTC with the notion that we may not even be able to conceive (I was 36 years old and it had been a long time since I had been pregnant!) Someone had once told me about Shettles timing, and altho I still did not have a strong gender preference, I did hope that I could have one more child and that it would be a girl because for personal reasons, I did not want to raise a boy as a functional only child, but was ok with having just one girl and it seemed like one more pregnancy, one girl - it would be perfect!! So I sort of vaguely did Shettles timing and happily conceived after only 2 months of trying. EVERYTHING in my life was blue-friendly but I had never heard of "swaying" at that point or anything related to it.

    At this point I still did not have a strong gender preference but the pregnancy was very different from my first two and the symptoms/OWT and of course our beloved Chinese Gender Predictor ended up convincing me that my baby was indeed a girl and set me up for HUGE devastation at my ultrasound. I felt like a world-class idiot - I mean, my uterus was like 2 days away from retirement and here I was going through pregnancy and labor again and for WHAT? Another BOY? And I had to have another baby to give a son a sibling?? I felt like the butt of a very large joke and that everyone was laughing at me (and some were, I'm sure, which didn't help!) I was really not in a very good place but somehow I knew I couldn't be alone. I Googled, "I can't believe I am having another boy" and immediately found InGender.

    Anyway, long story short, I soldiered on thru my GD with the help of my IG friends, ended up making peace with it before my third son arrived, and things were ok. I did still hope that since I was going to TTC one last time for my son's sake, that this final time I would get lucky and get a girl. And so I decided to look into this "swaying" business. I thought it sounded pretty silly and farfetched at first, basically voodoo wrapped up in science talk, parts of it seemed nonsensical to me, and it did not match with my lifestyle because I have always eaten tons of dairy. But I didn't want to just discount it out of hand either. People really DID seem to be having some measure of success with it beyond 50-50.

    I concluded, IF swaying could possibly be true, there HAD to be some reason why - swaying would have to help human survival in some way or else it never would have evolved/been designed into us by God, and I started to do a little research with that truth in mind. Almost immediately I came upon the Trivers-Willard Hypothesis Trivers and the Maternal Dominance Hypothesis (these two theories are said to be in disagreement but I think they really support each other) The ladies of IG had never heard of the TWH and they all but discounted the MDH but I quickly began to see how all of the traditional sway tactics either a)didn't actually work at all and even might sway in the wrong direction OR b) were really just tapping into these phenomona.

    You can read my blog from when I was doing this research here:Trivers Willard hypothesis and a brief explanatory essay about Trivers Willard here Understanding the Trivers Willard Hypothesis

    Shortly thereafter I also came across some research done by a biologist studying Trivers Willard which indicated that levels of blood glucose could indicate the gender of offspring that a woman might conceive, CABNR Error 404 - Page not found and the Oxford study was published You are what your mother eats: evidence for maternal preconception diet influencing foetal sex in humans which seemed to TOTALLY support everything I was beginning to realize had to be true about gender swaying - that a lower cal, lower protein, lower fat, lower nutrient diet, with blood sugar levels kept on the low side, possibly with lower sodium intake, and where the mother was in declining condition and even losing weight, swayed pink (Low-Everything), and a High-Everything diet seemed to sway blue.

    You can read my thought processes in my blog, but I was taking the earliest steps along the path to what would eventually become the type of sway I recommend. I got very active on the sway board and I was even a forum mod for awhile. IG adopted several of my recommendations on exercise, losing/gaining weight, and skipping/eating breakfast. Despite this, I was getting ready for my sway at this point and I just wasn't ready to turn my back on all the traditional sway tactics. So I included some things like the IG supplements in my sway and the results were, DS 4.

    I strongly feel that the main reason why my sway failed was because I was taking too many supplements - but I got scared. I wanted to hedge my bets. I took a month off of swaying to gain some weight back to lose again and I got pg that month of course, so not only was I chock full of supplements but I had gained 3 lbs right before conceiving too. My son is amazing and I have no regrets about that but I do have regrets that I never got to test the TWH the way I really wanted to.

    So, after a rocky, high risk pregnancy, my 4th son arrived safe and sound. I quit the swaying forum because it was really driving me insane to give advice to people that I KNEW either didn't sway at all or even swayed in the wrong direction, and to watch people do things that anyone could plainly see was sending their testosterone through the roof chasing after sway "factors" that didn't even work. Plus, some of the advice on IG was and is just plain DANGEROUS and even though I tried to get it corrected, it was like it fell onto deaf ears. People were getting terribly sick on both the pink and blue sway diets and everyone just seemed miserable all the time. Marriages were falling apart! When sways failed, it was like a pack of vultures descended to pick everything apart and play the blame game. And no one seemed to feel that there was any problem at all with any of it.

    But by that point, I had been bitten by the science bug. I knew that gender swaying was real and that we had the data we needed in order to have successful sways was finally, for the first time in human history, right there and available to all of us. This is possible!!! I wanted to shout it from the rooftops and stop strangers in the streets to tell them all about it!! I kept doing research on my own simply because I enjoyed it so much and the things I found were so very exciting. I have been doing research for 3+ years now and NOTHING I've ever come across has made me doubt that gender swaying is real, and that Trivers-Willard, Maternal Dominance Hypothesis, and blood glucose levels are at the heart of it.

    Then IG began to fall apart and the spinoff sites started, and NBP approached me with an offer to join this site and I jumped at it. Little did she know that I had been chomping at the bit for an opportunity to develop a better way to sway, that was physically, emotionally, and maritally more healthy and balanced, and that actually focused on what WORKED rather than OWT and "science" that had literally NO real-world support. (Studies are all well and good, but if something doesn't add up in the real world and most importantly, make sense with the fundamental workings of the human body, then it cannot be true and there must be another explanation for the results). I felt then and still feel even more so, that it is entirely possible to have a sway for a boy or a girl, that is easier to do, is healthier, and yet works better than the IG sway does and that is why I get up every day to come do this, instead of taking up crochet.

    So just a brief overview of how my view of swaying is different than the traditional/IG style sway:

    1)Timing - I do not believe timing sways in any real way. If it does sway slightly, it's because of certain factors that tend to be true most of the time for a majority of people - as in, people tend to have drier CM at some parts of the cycle than others. If you are NOT in this majority, timing will do NOTHING for you. If you have altered your cycle with diet and supps, your past cycles very well may be meaningless for predicting future timing. And even if you are in this majority, there are much more reliable ways to accomplish the same effects, like using antihistamines to dry up CM. Plus, timing is very difficult for people to figure out and can keep you from getting pg (esp. O+12)

    2)Sperm count/quality - I believe that for reasons we do not fully understand, lower numbers and lower quality of sperm, sways pink. I also believe that any condition in the female reproductive tract at any point between vagina and egg, that makes it harder for sperm to survive to make it to the egg, also sways pink. My theory of swaying is "the fertility theory" which is just that anything that improves fertility, tends to sway blue, and anything that lowers fertility, tends to sway pink.

    3)pH - I do not believe that pH sways because X sperm "love" low pH and Y sperm "love" high pH. ALL sperm prefer medium pH which is why both semen and CM naturally have pH in the 7's. Low pH may sway pink because it makes it harder for sperm to survive to make it to the egg (see 2 above). High pH in the vagina may help sway blue by counteracting low vaginal pH and making up for any lack of EWCM in the vagina. I do not believe that anything you stick into your vagina can infiltrate your entire reproductive tract and so I do not believe that repeated douching for days after your attempt, is in any way necessary or a good idea. pH only matters WHEN you DTD and not afterwards and obsessively checking pH only sends testosterone skyrocketing.

    4)EWCM -Lots of alkaline EWCM (in the 7's) helps sperm to survive and swim to the egg. Again, nothing to do with one sperm preferring high pH, it's that ALL sperm do best in medium pH and good EWCM, and more, healthier sperm seems to equal more boys.

    5)Diet - Diet is BY FAR the most important and effective sway tactic there is. I believe the IGD and FGD sway, not because of minerals but because they tend to be more Low-Everything for pink swayers, High-Everything for blue swayers. They are very far from ideal tho (especially for blue swayers) and I hope that everyone fully investigates their diet options before settling on the IGD or FGD just because they have more results. I didn't even MAKE a diet until well into 2011 so that I don't have as many results as "the other guys" doesn't say anything at all about my diet, other than that it is new.

    6)Minerals - I don't think the minerals sway in the ways that IG and FGD claim and since I'm sure most everyone is sick of hearing about me yammer on about that, I'll just post the link to my series of essays on this issue (be sure to read all three, links at the bottom of first essay)

    7)Ions - Sperm do NOT have different electrical charges and therefore CANNOT be pulled along by any ion in CM or semen. What are the REAL differences between X sperm and Y sperm?? Plus, your body MAKES ions out of the foods you eat to do the tasks it needs ions to do, and does not get its ion supply by collect mystical particles that emanate from the moon on a mission to invade your vagina. Everyone's CM contains calcium, magnesium, sodium, and potassium ions - it's supposed to! PLEASE do not waste precious financial resources on gimmicky devices that are supposed to surround you with ions of the right "type". Does it really make sense to you on a gut level that by wearing a bracelet, you can make yourself conceive a child of a certain gender?? If it's an affordable and pretty bracelet, no harm done, but I have seen too many swayers simply "up the ions" to counteract issues with their diets!! Diets really sway for actual biological reasons, bracelets don't.

    8)The moon and seasons - even though I don't believe ions sway either via moon phases or seasons, there MAY be something to the idea that the moon and/or seasons do sway in some other fashion. You can read about that here:

    9)Hormones - I do believe that higher but still normal levels of testosterone sway blue in both DH and DW (so agree with IG on this) with the warning that artificially elevated levels of testosterone in men (as in, steroid usage) may actually sway pink by harming sperm. I suspect that high levels of estrogen sway pink in DH (again, agree with IG) - still not convinced that estrogen is important for DW either way (because you NEED a decent amount of estrogen to get pg with a girl or a boy) but if it does sway, I am in agreement with IG that higher estrogen in DW prob. sways blue. I am REALLY not convinced that high progesterone = girls. My thinking is that it makes more sense that higher levels of all three sex hormones = boys because everything that helps fertility, seems to sway blue and progesterone is def. required for fertility. Since the jury on this is still out, I think it's best for swayers to concentrate primarily on testosterone and to a lesser extent, estrogen, rather than progesterone. Progesterone will take care of itself - on a blue diet it will go up, on a pink diet it will decline.

    Your body does NOT get its hormones by EATING testosterone or progesterone. It manufactures all its own hormones from fat and cholesterol. So the advice given on IG to eat eggs because they contain progesterone, to raise progesterone and sway pink, is not good advice, because your body will simply use the cholesterol in eggs to manufacture testosterone and estrogen if it needs them!! Same with red meat - you do not get your testosterone from eating red meat, your body uses the fat and cholesterol to make testosterone - red meat is good for testosterone either way but just so you know that it's not the testosterone in meat doing anything. You also must use supps carefully to make sure you are not depleting your body of hormones you need for conception.

    And you must control the demand side of the equation as well through lifestyle changes...if swaying pink, you want to assure your body that you don't need massive amounts of testosterone to survive, and if swaying blue, you want to encourage your body to make more. Understanding the "Law" of Testosterone Supply and Demand

    10)Blood sugar - I believe lowering blood sugar for pink and keeping it stable for blue is among the most important things you can do for your sway. However, the advice given on IG is inaccurate and not helpful (and this info originally COMES from me so please trust me!) You can eat sugar when TTC pink (don't eat it all day long, tho) OR blue (eat protein and sweets together) and keeping blood sugar low for pink isn't only important in the morning! And for the love of all that is good and holy, if you are swaying for blue, DO NOT EAT a breakfast of Rice Krispies with non-dairy creamer because that is about the worst thing you can do for your blood sugar!!

    11)Exercise - If you have read "cardio sways pink" and "weights sway blue", well, the reality is vastly more complex than that and doing cardio in moderation MAY SWAY BLUE!

    12)Things like moon phases, Jonas Calendar, Chinese Gender Calendar, biorhythms, etc. have NO scientific data to back them up. DO NOT stress yourself out over these things in any way and it is highly concerning to me that anyone should do things like skip a month of TTC or worse yet, go onto BCP (especially blue swayers, because BCP sway pink!) in an attempt to get your ovulation into the right moon phase or biorhythm. I saw several swayers doing this on IG and being encouraged to do so, and it is appalling to me because regardless of swaying, BCP also have side effects and risks that should not be taken lightly.

    13)Safety first, last, and always. Please read this essay to see a long list of things that are too dangerous for swaying, some of which people on IG and the IG FAQ, will advise you to do.

    14)Never forget, testosterone raises and drops based on cues that is receives from your environment. If your body "thinks" you need more testosterone for survival (because you are undertaking challenges that seriously matter to you - like swaying - or doing things that your body interprets as competitive - again, like swaying) it WILL MAKE testosterone out of anything it can get its greedy little enzymes on - INCLUDING eggs, milk, tahini, and even your own stored body fat. Pink swayers, there is no way for you to utterly deplete your diet/body of the raw materials to make testosterone without seriously harming your health (and you won't be able to conceive then anyway.) You have to cut demand for testosterone at the same time and swaying can all too often feed the beast. DON'T attempt sway tactics that do not work and run the risk of raising T thru the roof, like timing or obsessively checking pH. A "perfect" sway can TOTALLY be a failed sway!!

    Blue swayers, if you are getting overwhelmed and discouraged with swaying, if you feel that you can't get it right, that it cannot happen for you, that you do not "deserve" a son, or that other people's sways are always better than yours, this is the kind of mindset proven to lower testosterone regardless of what foods you eat or what supps you take. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

    15)If you can't get pregnant, you have NO CHANCE at your desired gender. Many things we do to sway makes it much less likely you'll get pg. It's fine for Tamara to say that she would have gone on swaying hard every month until menopause - she HAS her DG! It is MUCH better to hit it hard on diet and then drop the things that don't even sway to begin with, like timing, then to try and include everything, while reducing your odds of conception so far that it takes 6 months or more to conceive. Blue swayers will gain too much weight and pink swayers will lose too much weight.

    16)ABOVE ALL - swaying must fit into your life and not the other way around. Swaying should not leave you a miserable, physically ill shell of your former self. Your kids and finances should not suffer and your marriage should not be strained because of swaying. People get their desired gender even after SEVERAL of the other, by doing nothing other than they have every other day of their lives - no swaying! Michelle Duggar has conceived 5 girls in a row after having 10 sons (of course interspersed with 4 girls), without swaying. NONE of us is predestined to have all or even mostly one gender. It may very well be that the only thing you need to do to get your desired gender is to get pregnant again.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  3. #3
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    READ ME FIRST - This isn't what they said! (original here:

    You may have noticed that the advice given on this site is not always the same as on other sites. True. But why is this exactly?

    Most traditional swaying advice is based on four sources. Shettles (timing, abstinence, and pH), Ericcson (pH), O+12 (timing, abstinence), and the French Gender Diet people. (calcium and pH).

    We'll take a closer look at these over the course of time, but for now, there is some pretty compelling evidence against ALL of them. Most of the studies that supports them (if any) are done by the discoverers themselves or by people selling products based on this "evidence" and some of them are done in very very small groups of people and are essentially worthless from a scientific viewpoint. Some of them are decades old and others were not double-blind studies (meaning, the researchers and the subjects knew in advance the result that was "supposed" to happen - that is a major no-no for studies). Yet others rely 100% on self-reported information which is inherently unreliable - one person may know exactly when they ovulated, but then again, they may have Oed early that month and therefore claiming that they conceived 2 days prior to O is completely wrong.

    Only the favorable studies seem to find their way onto most gender swaying sites. On one of the most prominent swaying websites, it is clearly stated that NONE of the studies that disprove any of these things are posted. All that is presented, is the case FOR swaying using these methods, while the cases against them is never discussed.

    Consequently, everything that follows is based on the unquestioned validity of these four notions and if they are all true, hey, that's great. We will end up with a great sway and it really IS our fault when sways fail. (On some sites, when people get opposites, they are all too often chastised for "not doing everything" to sway and their sways are picked apart and criticized mercilessly.) But if they're not true, then swaying is like trying to build a house on shifting sand - everything placed on top of them will be unreliable and unpredictable and swayers are setting themselves up for a huge disappointment.

    So in this site, one of the goals is to provide a safe place to be able to question these sacred swaying cows because if they aren't true, then all swaying is crap and a complete waste of time. NO ONE will yell at you if you don't want to douche or drink massive amounts of Crystal Light, or try to scare you into swaying a certain way here.

    The downside of all this is, it can be confusing to people trying to plan a sway, to hear the arguments against the traditional swaying methods. It would certainly be easier if we just went with the crowd and ignored the evidence against traditional swaying. It might feel better in the short term because we would feel in control of our sway and that we were guaranteed success. But people's sways fail, and the main reason they fail is because of bad information, because we keep repeating the same stale things and blaming ourselves when it doesn't work out. Unless we are willing to question again and again and assume nothing, swaying will never be any more reliable than it is now.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  4. #4
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    No-Fault Swaying! (original here:

    You may have read in various places that eating certain foods, taking certain supplements, or doing the deed (DTD) in a special position or at a certain time of the month, will guarantee you a baby of a particular gender. According to some, it’s almost as if, should you do all the right things, you will be all but promised a particular gender. Then if your sway doesn’t work out, then you’re left feeling guilty for that Ding Dong you ate 3 weeks before you ever got pregnant and/or angry with your husband because he didn’t want to ice his testicles!!

    But that’s NOT what swaying is fundamentally all about. Swaying isn’t like following a recipe, where you add a pinch of this and a pinch of that, and if you do everything exactly right, 9 months later a baby of your desired gender (DG) will pop out of the oven. At of the day, swaying has very little to do with what you ate or didn’t eat on any one day or even every day, or any one thing you did or didn’t do.

    Instead, swaying has everything to do with what is happening inside of your body. It’s what’s happening inside you and your husband (DH’s) body that determines your childrens’ gender. That’s why some people have ‘perfect’ sways but conceive opposites, while others who have never even heard the word ‘swaying’ (other than the wind through the trees) conceive children of both genders without even trying.

    Of all the females that have ever been born on this earth, very few of their parents were ingesting large quantities of Crystal Light, and of all the males, practically all were conceived without testicle icing!!! YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANY ONE THING OR EAT ANY ONE FOOD TO MAKE YOURSELF HAVE A CHILD OF A PARTICULAR GENDER. You can do absolutely nothing any differently than you have every other day of your life, and still conceive a child of your DG - even if you’ve had 3-4-5-6 or even more of the other gender already. Because your internal body chemistry naturally changes from week to month to year, it may very well be that all you need to do to get your DG is simply get pregnant.

    If that’s the case then, why even bother attempting to change our external environment? Why not just try to conceive (TTC) naturally, and hope for the best?

    We could, actually. Any of us willing to “Duggar-it-out” and have an unlimited number of children, would eventually have an opposite, or even several. But for the rest of us, who may prefer smaller families for whatever reason, we may want to try to assist Mother Nature in whatever way we can.

    Swaying works in two ways. By far the most important way, is by actually "convincing" your body to conceive a child of a particular gender by changing certain cues in your environment, and the other is by mimicking the physical processes through which your body conceives a child of a particular gender. So with every aspect of swaying, we’re working towards accomplishing one or both of those goals. We have to keep them BOTH in mind. In other words, if as evidence suggests, low sperm count sways pink, it doesn’t matter if a man is an overweight smoking deep sea diver who wears tighty whities and sits in a hot tub all day drinking aspartame-laced cranberry juice, if his sperm count remains high despite all that, he’s still going to father more daughters than sons. He did everything right in terms of swaying, but it wasn't enough to "convince" his body.

    To sum up, swaying is not a matter of, do X,Y, and Z and you WILL get a guaranteed result. If it were, it would be called ‘guaranteeing'. You can do everything right and your body still may believe it’s better for you to have an opposite. You can do everything wrong and your body may still believe it’s better for you to have your DG even after several of the other gender.

    So here's the approach - No-Fault Swaying. In which we all do the best we can with what we personally feel comfortable second-guessing each other, no obsessing over the tiniest detail once the deed is done, NO BLAMING ANYONE EVER IF THEIR SWAYS FAIL!!! Although our goal is to come up with the very best sway techniques we can, even the very best sway is never going to be a guarantee because we cannot control every aspect of our bodies. Swaying isn't worth ruining your life, health, or marriage over.

    Wishing everyone the best of luck!!!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  5. #5
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Another way to look at the swaying odds... (original here:

    Often we hear of gender selection being compared to a flip of a coin. We’ve heard it said so often that it’s hard to step away from that all-or-nothing expectation, and consequently when we sway, it’s tough to envision anything other than heads or tails, black and white…or in our case, pink or blue. “If you do these things, you are guaranteed your gender.” And so when we see people IRL who seem to eat right off the boy diet and DTD at all the wrong times but still have girls or vice versa, it’s confusing, scary, and makes us want to give up on swaying all together.

    But swaying is so much more complicated than flipping a coin. Swaying isn’t all or nothing, it’s a complicated bunch of physical processes that work together in unpredictable ways we don’t even fully understand, ways that may very well be different in each person.

    Perhaps a better way to envision the odds is to picture a die (a die is one of a set of dice, so picture just one dice) with a lot of sides on it. (Anyone who’s ever played the board game Scattergories will know just what I mean, or picture a die somewhat like a soccer ball.). Imagine that each of us carries with us our own personal die that we’re born with, and that die has like 20, 50, 100, or 1000 faces on it. Some of those faces are pink and some are blue, and when we conceive a baby, we roll that die and whatever color comes up on top is the gender we conceive.

    Each of the faces on the die corresponds to a different thing that can affect gender. Almost certainly, genetics play a part in gender selection, so some of the faces on the die are colored pink or blue and we cannot change them, these are just traits we are born with. Some people probably have more unchangeable blue faces, some have more unchangeable pink faces, and other people have an equal number of each. It even seems possible that some people have more unchangeable faces overall than others do, and their bodies may just be more hardwired to produce children of mostly one gender than another person’s would be.

    But other sides of the die do change color. They flip back and forth depending on variables in our diet, timing, and environment. Sometimes we have more pink faces on our die, and sometimes more blue faces. These are what we are aiming at changing when we sway, to get as many faces as we can to turn pink or blue and keep them there as long as we can while we roll the die.

    Some of these faces are easily changed, others are much tougher. Some of the faces are linked together, so changing several at the same time works much better than trying to do only one. In fact, the only way to change some of the faces is by changing enough of the others. Other faces are easy for one person to change but more difficult for others, probably due to genetic factors.

    Unfortunately, since we are all born with different dice, we don’t know exactly if what works for one person will always work for another. All we can do is look at what seems to work best for the majority of people over the course of time, and try and emulate that.

    Even after the best sway imaginable, there is no way that all of our die’s faces will be pink or blue. There are some faces that are unchangeable, and others that were just too difficult, and still others that we don‘t even know how to change yet. We can do our best to change as many as we can, but there will be at least some chance that the opposite color will come up when we roll. Even if we changed of our faces pink, will still be blue. Even in people who are pink will have boys of the time.

    Most of us only roll our die only 2 or 3 times over the course of our lives. It isn’t hard to imagine that just from sheer bad luck, that some of us will happen to have more blue or pink faces during those times, even if every other month out of our life we had more of the opposite. For others, they may be in that who rolls blue even though their odds were mostly pink.

    You just can’t predict by looking at one or two people, what things work best to sway. Because yes, your friend may eat lots of salt and have girls, but she may have so many other pink factors that her overall pink odds were still higher. Or for me personally, I DTD before I ovulated, so according to Shettles, I should have daughters. I don’t, but that doesn‘t mean that Shettles is completely wrong in every way and that timing doesn‘t matter. I simply had more blue factors than I did pink those months, and my roll came up blue.

    Only over the course of time, and by watching a lot of people sway (both successes and failures), will we gradually be able to learn what things work best and for who. Until then, we have to accept that there will be exceptions, there will be opposites, and even though there are failed sways, it doesn’t mean that we should give up on swaying and refuse to even try.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  6. #6
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Abbreviation Translation!

    If you are a newer member and you feel like you suddenly landed in a vat of alphabet soup, this thread may help you! (Thanks to my old friend Maureen for compiling the original list that this is based on.)


    DH – Dear husband or darling husband

    DP, SO Dancing Partner or Significant Other . Usually means unmarried partner.

    DD, DS = Darling Daughter or Son

    DSD or DSD = Darling Stepdaughter or Stepson

    DN = Niece or nephew

    MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL = The in-laws: mother, father, brother, sister

    SAHM, SAHD = Stay at home mom or dad

    WAHM, WAHD = work at home mom or dad

    LO - little ones

    FOAF - Friend of a friend - meaning you heard a story about someone somewhere but it's not someone you actually know firsthand.


    TTC = Trying to conceive (trying to get pregnant)

    BD = Baby Dancing (sex to get pregnant)

    DTD = Did The Deed or Doing The Dance (had sex, either to get pregnant or just for recreational purposes)

    Pg = Pregnant

    BC, BCP = Birth control, Birth control pill

    TPFS - Three Primary Fertility Signs -

    HT - High Tech

    MS - Microsort OR Morning Sickness

    IVF/PGD - InVitro Fertilization and Preimplantation genetic diagnosis

    OHW - One Hit Wonder - someone who gets pregnant their first round of high tech or first month swaying

    Monthly Cycle and Gross Bodily Functions

    VJJ - Vajayjay or vagina

    O = Ovulation or orgasm (orgasm is usually “big O”) You typically can tell from context which O is the O in question.

    AF = Aunt Flo (“flow”) = menstruation, getting your period

    CD = cycle day. The day you start your period is cycle day 1.

    CB = Cycle Buddy. Person in the same part of cycle as yourself.

    DPO = Days Past Ovulation

    DBO - Days Before Ovulation

    CM or CF = cervical mucus or cervical fluid, the fluid that normally comes out of the vagina during the fertile part of your cycle

    EWCM = Egg White Cervical Mucus. The most fertile CM; clear and slippery like egg white.

    CP = cervical position

    SHOW - Soft, high, open, and wet - describes your cervix at ovulation.

    BBT = Basal Body Temperature. Method for detecting ovulation.

    OPK = Ovulation Prediction Kit

    POAS = Pee on a stick (to test for pregnancy or ovulation)

    TCOYF = Taking Charge of Your Fertility book

    FF - Fertility Friends - a website where you can chart your cycle

    BM - bowel movement

    Pregnancy Testing

    2WW = Two week wait. After trying to get pregnant, waiting to test.

    HPT = Home Pregnancy Test

    BFP = Big Fat Positive (positive pregnancy test)

    BFN = Big Fat Negative (negative pregnancy test)

    hCG = Human chorionic gonodotropin. Substance detected by pregnancy tests.

    Beta = blood test for pregnancy

    FMU - First morning urine...when you take an early pregnancy test you should always use your first morning urine because it's more concentrated.

    POAS - Pee on a stick (take a pregnancy test)

    PUPO - Pregnant until proven haven't gotten a BFP or a BFN, but until you do, you're not doing anything that might jeopardize a potential pregnancy.

    Pregnancy and Nursing

    EDD = Estimated Due Date

    U/S = Ultrasound

    CVS = Chorionic Villae Sampling. Test during pregnancy to check baby’s chromosomes; also determines sex.

    BF = Breast feeding

    BB = boobies (breasts)

    MC or m/c = Miscarriage


    24-7 - doing something 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

    KWIM = Know what I mean?

    IYKYWIM - I know you know what I mean - when you're talking to someone you know has experienced the same situation

    BTW = By the way

    IRL = In Real Life

    FWIW - For what it's worth

    OMG - Oh my Gosh!

    GD = Gender Disappointment OR Gender Dreaming website!

    PP = Previous poster. Someone who commented earlier on the current thread and I can't remember their username right now.

    OP - Original poster. The person who started the thread.

    GMTA = Great minds think alike

    H&H = Happy and healthy (usually used to wish someone success in pregnancy)

    HTH = Hope that helps!

    ITA = I totally agree

    IMHO = In my humble opinion (or IMO in my opinion)

    LOL = Laughing out loud

    ROFL = Rolling on floor laughing

    LMAO = Laughing my ass off!

    TTFN = Ta ta for now

    AFAIK = As far as I know

    BTDT = Been there, done that

    DHAC = Don’t have a clue

    FWIW = For what it’s worth

    OT = Off Topic

    IK,R - I know, right??

    PITA = Pain in the ass

    GL - Good Luck

    KUP - Keep us posted!

    TY and TIA - Thank you and Thanks in advance

    KFX, FX and TX - Keeping fingers crossed, fingers crossed, and toes crossed

    WTH or WTF - What the heck or what the F...

    FML - F... my life, a statement of intense frustration

    P and PT - prayers and positive thoughts

    FB - Facebook


    TBM = “Turkey Baster Method” = self insemination

    O+12 = 12 hours after ovulation

    RE = Reproductive endocrinologist. Certification for fertility doctor. Not all fertility doctors are RE's.

    J&D - Jump and Dump

    MSU = Modified Swim-Up - an at home high tech method that we don't do on this site but I can answer basic questions and help you find someone who does.

    EGS - Extreme gender swaying - at home high tech, we don't do that on this site but I can answer basic questions and help you find someone who does

    BS - Baking soda

    BSD = Baking Soda Drink or Douche

    BSF = Baking Soda Finger

    ASG - Alka-Selzer Gold

    COT - Cream of Tartar (drink for blue swayers)

    ACV - Apple Cider Vinegar

    V-8 - This means V-8 juice which you may or may not have in your country. It's tomato juice with other vegetable juices mixed in and is great for conceiving boys.

    High or low T - high or low testosterone. Also raise or lower T. T is testosterone levels. (note - HT means "high tech")

    BGL - Blood glucose levels (I need to start using this one more!!) or blood sugar.

    NYF and BY - Nutritional Yeast Flakes and Brewer's yeast.

    Prog Cream - progesterone cream

    UHT milk - shelf-stable milk that does not need refrigeration

    FGD - French Gender Diet


    Supps - supplements, generic term for all the pills you're popping

    AF-O, O-AF - Some supplements should only be taken from menstruation (AF) through ovulation (O) because they are not safe for a potential conception. Other things are started after ovulation and stopped at menstruation.

    EPO - Evening primrose oil

    SP - Saw Palmetto

    TT - tribulus terrestris

    FUR - False Unicorn Root

    CLO and FO - Cod liver oil and fish oil

    Soy Iso - Soy isoflavones

    RL and RLT - Raspberry Leaf, Raspberry Leaf Tea

    PT - Peppermint Tea
    Ca - Calcium
    Na - Sodium
    K - potassium
    Mg - Magnesium
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  7. #7
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Eastern Washington State, USA
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    The Kitchen Sink, the Mellow Yellow, the Do-Nothing, and the 80-20 rule of swaying! (original here:

    I thought it might be helpful to talk a bit about different swaying strategies.

    What is right for one person may not be right for another. There is no one size, fits all sway. I think there's room for lots of different sways and that first and foremost we must do what is right for ourselves, our families, and our marital relationships.

    Things to consider before entering into any sway -

    How important is it for me to conceive a child of a particular gender? Will I be devasted if I conceive an opposite? Should I be looking into HT?

    How solid is my relationship? How much swaying is my husband willing to put up with? Could I cause permanent damage by pressuring him to do things he is uncomfortable with? Is HE the one who wants a child of a particular gender or will swaying potentially put him off the idea of another child all together?

    What kind of time parameters are we dealing with? Are we in a rush due to age, our desired family makeup and child spacing, or career issues?

    What is our fertility status to begin with? Are we in our late 30's? Does my husband have lower sperm count? Am I healthy or do I have any sicknesses that require strict dietary guidelines that I should not deviate from?

    What will our next step be if this sway fails? Would we do HT if that happens? If so, wouldn't it be more sensible just to go HT NOW rather than waiting several years if we conceive an opposite? (the older you get, the less chance you have at successfully going HT so it is better to try HT first if you can) Would we have another child? Do we even want another child if we fail? Is this my last shot at my DG?

    Will this ruin me if it goes bad? Will swaying take over my life? Am I the obsessive type? Will swaying actually hurt worse than doing nothing if I get an opposite, or will I at least feel like I tried?

    Thinking about those questions may help clarify what your hopes and expectations are for swaying and it may become apparent what strategy is right for you.

    FIRST AND FOREMOST WHEN SWAYING - If you don't get pregnant, you have NO chance of your DG.

    The "Kitchen Sink" sway - Forget everything but the kitchen sink, you want to throw the sink in there too!

    IF you are someone who really, truly feel that you MUST have a child of a particular gender and really truly cannot go HT, and if, as my friend Tamara said once, you are willing to go from now until menopause getting nothing but BFN's, then this approach may be for you. You will want to do and try everything even if it drastically reduces your odds of pregancy. This is particularly true for pink swayers because a lot of stuff we do for pink lowers the odds of pregnancy.

    You will need a husband who is very supportive and not to have any time constraints (as in, if your husband is stationed overseas and only home for three months, this is NOT the approach you should take.) You need patience and nerves of steel because once those BFN's start piling up, a lot of people lose heart and are inclined to give up. And the longer you sway, the more likely it is that you will give up on things that are hard to stick to, like diet.

    Caveat - This approach is poison for people who tend to get very obsessive and worked up about things. Not only does it have the potential to raise testosterone levels, but they tend to add more and more to their sway until one day they snap and give up on swaying all together. Even for blue swayers this can be dicey because in some people, chronic long-term anxiety may supress testosterone and end up swaying pink! Sometimes you just can't win!

    It's also harder for many people if their sway fails, because not only did they feel that they had a guarantee because they had done everything, but they also may feel like they tried so hard and blame themselves for the three chocolate chips they ate in October.

    The "Mellow Yellow" - If it feels good, do it. Pick and choose the things that feel right to you and leave the rest of it in God's hands because that's probably where it is anyway.

    If your husband isn't supportive, no worries, just leave the husband stuff out of it. Some things may lower your odds of pregnancy esp. if you're swaying pink.

    I want to pause for a second here to introduce one of the most fundamental rules of both swaying and life in general - the 80-20 rule. "You get 80% of the results with 20% of the effort, but to get that last 20% of the results, you will have to expend 80% of the effort to get it."

    In other words, you can still have a damn fine sway without worrying about every last detail, and for pink it may even be a finer sway because you aren't at quite as high a risk the bump in testosterone that can happen when you tackle a big, involved project (still some risk of that, though)

    This is better for people who are in a hurry to get pregnant but not completely.

    Caveat - This is probably not going to be as 'perfect' a sway as a Kitchen Sink sway. If you do end up conceiving an opposite, you may have regrets that you didn't do this or that, and I have seen some women blame their husbands for not wanting to go along with certain aspects of swaying.

    The Do-Nothing - NOT swaying and just TTC, is always an option. The vast majority of babies of either gender that have ever been conceived on the face of the planet were born to parents who had never heard the word swaying other than the wind through the trees. For most of us, if we keep having children (aka "Duggaring-it-out) we will end up conceiving an opposite just by getting pregnant again.

    There is a lot less risk of raising your testosterone levels with this method. It's perfect for people who are in a hurry to get pregnant because there is no preparation required. And it may be best for people who find they get very worked up and stressed when they consider swaying.

    Caveat - You may be inadvertently be doing things that sway strongly one direction without intending to, so if you just TTC again without changing those things, you run the risk of just conceiving a child of the same gender as you
    already have. (Of course if you want another child of the same gender, don't mess with success!) Also, you may have regrets later on if you conceive an opposite.

    The Advanced Do-Nothing - IF you're a woman who tends to get very worked up and stressed out about things AND you have a supportive husband, the option exists that he can surprise you with a sudden attempt one day!

    Maybe it's a pipe dream, but I can envision a husband that does all the research, quietly monitors his wife's cycle (or helps her chart as some DH's do) and just arrives in the bedroom one night with a bottle of wine, a tube of Sylk or Pre-Seed, maybe an antihistamine or Robitussin, gives his wife a blissful backrub and lets nature take its course!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  8. #8
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Eastern Washington State, USA
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    Beyond the cookie cutter - Personalizing your sway

    On this site, there is no cookie-cutter, everyone-must-do-this-or-else sway - you are free to pick and choose the sway tactics that you feel are right for YOU. But, the sheer amount of info presented all at once does make it seem rather daunting to people and it probably comes off that we are suggesting you do EVERYTHING. So NBP suggested that we come up with some simplified suggestions - examples, or templates - of sways that a person might want to make their own. You don’t have to do ANY of these sways, there is no one size, fits all sway and no right or wrong way to sway.

    For starters, you might want to read the following to help you determine what your sway strategy is.!

    Before you begin to plan your sway, you should stop to consider how swaying will affect your odds of pregnancy. It does you no good to sway if you sway so hard that you have no chance of getting pregnant; you have NO chance of your desired gender if you cannot even conceive. And the longer you go on getting BFNs month after month, the more likely it is that you will begin to drop things - unfortunately, the things that get dropped first tend to be the things that are hardest to stick to and yet have the most scientific evidence backing them up, like diet. Some people are willing to go on from now until menopause getting nothing but BFNs but for most people, it seems much wiser to me to hit it hard and get it over with quick! You know yourself best, so be honest with yourself about what is realistic for you.

    A reminder - you should start ANY diet 6 weeks (long enough to control blood sugar, CM, pH, minerals, and somewhat affect testosterone) to 90 days (if you want to sway for the entire life cycle of an egg, and is better for raising/lowering testosterone) before you TTC.

    You and DH MUST quit smoking if you want a son, no ifs, ands, or buts, that one is non-negotiable.

    DO NOTHING SWAY - Seriously, for reals. You can Duggar-it-out and decide that you‘ll just keep having kids until you get your DG. People get their desired gender every day by doing nothing any different than they have any day of their lives. Luck and chemistry may be on your side this time and it may be that all you need to do is just get pregnant. This is statistically more true for moms who want sons than it is for moms who want daughters because your odds of a boy go up after 3 girls. However, advancing maternal age does make you more likely to conceive a daughter so if you‘re in your late 30‘s your odds of a girl are better. (you can still conceive a boy - or two - in your late 30’s!!!! BELIEVE ME!! LOL!!!!)

    LITE SWAY - Diet has far and away the most evidence supporting it BUT some people find it very difficult to stick to. A person might decide to sway using just timing, jelly, timing, hormonal supplements, lowering/raising sperm count - any or all combo of other sway tactics. It’s ok if you want to do that. The only thing that I STRONGLY suggest for pink swayers is not to just take cal-mag supplements alongside your normal diet, and I do believe equally strongly that blue swayers MUST not be dieting and/or losing weight.

    FRENCH LITE SWAY - Some think the French Gender diet (available in the Dream Members section) is the easiest diet to stick to, so adding the FGD to a Lite Sway is a good way to incorporate some diet into your sway. (Or, you could also JUST do the FGD and forget the rest.) Pink Swayers, I STRONGLY urge you do do the FGD itself and not just take supplements in addition to eating your normal diet (even if you ease back on sodium), because it is not clear whether the cal-mag aspect of the FGD is what sways, or if it is due to the restrictive, lower-protein nature of the diet.

    VEGGIE LITE SWAY FOR PINK - Being a vegetarian or vegan is proven to sway pink, and many find a plant-based diet easy to stick to. Adding a vegetarian/vegan diet to a Lite Sway, or even just doing diet and forgoing other sway techniques, is a valid strategy for pink. You CAN add cal-mag supps to a vegetarian/vegan diet and perhaps enhance your sway by incorporating French gender minerals.

    CAVEMAN LITE SWAY FOR BLUE - A caveman-style, meat, eggs, nuts, fruit and veg diet (limiting refined carbohydrates and dairy) may sway blue and you may wish to combine it with the Lite Sway tactics and the mineral component of the FGD, increasing sodium and potassium intake, for a more thorough sway. Also a good choice for those blue swayers with uncooperative husbands, because most husbands LOVE caveman-style diets.

    ATOMIC’S PREFERRED SWAY - You’ll get most of the benefits of a more thorough sway AND you’ll be able to get pg quickly. Eat the “Low-Everything” diet for pink, “High-Everything”diet for blue (WITHOUT worrying about minerals or acidity/alkalinity of food) These diets are available in the Dream Members section. Lose 3-5 pounds for TTC pink and gain a few pounds of muscle for TTC blue.

    For pink, abstain/frequent release with a short cutoff. Do not exercise at all. Skip breakfast, but otherwise only worry about blood glucose levels right before ovulation and during the 2WW. Take vitex and folic acid but NO other vitamin supplements. Take an antihistamine. I personally prefer that you not worry too much about timing because it doesn’t sway much and it raises testosterone - get pregnant as quick as you can to limit the amount of time you have to stick to the diet.

    For blue, Pre-Seed, Robitussin/Mucinex and sperm-enhancing supplements and BD patterns for blue, and timing ONLY if you absolutely must. Exercise or not, whatever you prefer, as long as you are not a habitual over-exerciser (but lifting weights will REALLY help your sway). Take any supps that boost egg/sperm quality that you feel comfortable with and a wide array of vitamin and nutrient supplements. Green tea, wheatgrass, gelatin drink, and lemon water are all safe to use. Use timing if you like but I prefer that you use Deanna’s Plan in order to up your odds of pregnancy.

    THE DELUXE PACKAGE - This is the sway that I, atomic sagebrush, believe to be the most effective and thorough. With the exception of the minerals, because I'm not convinced the minerals sway in the way that people claim, may even sway in the wrong direction for some people, and I would LOVE it if minerals just quietly went away. And I did include timing altho I don't think it sways. But the majority of people want to include them and I understand that.

    However, the Deluxe sway probably does cut down on your fertility somewhat and people find it difficult to stick to. Pink swayers, if you find yourself getting obsessed with swaying and feeling that you MUST do everything, STOP and regroup. Blue swayers, if you are feeling overwhelmed, take a break!!!

    For pink, the Low Everything diet plus minerals plus aspartame, limiting alkaline foods, taking cran or baby aspirin, and strictly limiting blood sugar all the time. Lose 5-7 pounds if at all possible, and do intense cardio exercise 6-7 days a week. Use RepHresh, abstain/frequent release, with a cutoff. If you can beg, borrow, or steal some Clomid, USE it. (not really, only use Clomid under the supervision of a doctor. ) If you can’t get Clomid, use vitex and saw palmetto. DH should use licorice root.

    For blue, High Everything diet, cut way back on cal-mag if you‘re not already and up sodium/potassium intake, limit acidic foods, use stevia as a sweetener, and do the BSD or Ural drinks. Use egg white rather than Pre-Seed. (please note, cutting back drastically on cal-mag while increasing sodium, is not necessarily the best thing for fertility. And if you are of sub-Saharan African (Black) descent, you should not increase your sodium intake because virtually all Black people have genes that cause them to retain high levels of sodium in their bodies and the sodium is risky for you.)

    THE WHOLE NINE YARDS SWAY - The Deluxe Package plus spermicide and adding an O+12 attempt for pink (or you could do O+12 instead of cutoff). Use Acijel/Replens instead of RepHresh if you are going to do O+12. TTC pink from Mar-May only. DH should wear tighty-whiteys, take hot baths, and may even want to bicycle or run a lot. He may also wish to take Sudafed.

    For blue, the Deluxe Package plus BSF and ONLY one attempt 12 hours after your positive OPK. TTC blue from Sept-Nov. only.

    NOTE - if you are in the Southern Hemisphere, reverse the suggested months to TTC (so TTC blue Mar-May and pink Sept-Nov) and if you are near the equator, don’t worry about months at all because the day length doesn’t vary enough to send a signal to your body.

    THE WHOLE TEN YARDS SWAY - Add douching for both pink and blue.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  9. #9
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Eastern Washington State, USA
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    Custom Sway Plan FAQ (original here


    What IS a GenderDreaming Custom Sway Plan?

    The Custom Sway Plan is a plan designed for you by atomic sagebrush. She takes into account your ages, body type, fertility, lifestyle, preferred sway tactics, etc. and researches thoroughly any health issues you have and medications you may be on, and then designs a plan accordingly.

    The TTC pink plans are on average 12 pages long, and the TTC boy plans are on average 16 pages long. They are for both DH and DW. They cover supps (with dosage) and various beverages; diet, blood sugar, and weight loss/gain guidance; exercise and other lifestyle advice; techniques to control CM and pH; lowering and raising sperm count; frequency and when to DTD; and then a schedule that tells you when to do everything you need to do.

    In addition to the plan itself, you get access to your own private forum for 6 months where atomic acts as your personal sway coach and answers every question you have. Your questions are answered first and atomic tries to answer q's in the private forums 2-3 times a day, so you typically never have to go more than 24 hours without an answer.

    So I get a bunch of secret insider info, right?

    No, all the sway info is exactly the same as is available elsewhere on the site. We at GenderDreaming are committed to keeping sway info free to all and that will always stay the same. The only thing that is restricted (to Dream Members) is the LE/HE Diet info, and that is only because there are a lot of unscrupulous people out there who sell sway diets for hundreds of dollars and atomic doesn't want to make their jobs any easier.

    Do I get a customized diet with that?

    You get access to a 5-day sample diet and then as a part of the coaching, atomic helps you plan out your diet using foods that you like and are familiar with that are easily available in your neck of the woods. If you don't know much about nutrition, don't panic, you don’t need to. And if over time you start getting sick of some foods you were eating, you have the flexibility to change it up at any time and atomic is always available to go over your foods and diet to see if it's appropriate for you.

    You also get a downloadable and printable version of the HE/LE Diet and shopping list for pink/blue.

    Do I get Dream Membership?

    Dream Membership is separate from the Custom Sway Plans. If you don't want to purchase a Dream Membership, that's ok, atomic has access to all the DM info, of course, and you get atomic as your sway coach. The Dream Membership is nice though because you can chat privately with your fellow swayers secure in the knowledge that friends and relatives can't see your posts.

    Do I get my money back if I get an opposite?

    We don't offer that option. The money is for atomic's time and effort, not a guarantee of gender in any way. Swaying is not a sure thing and opposites are always possible with even the best of sways.

    Well if I don't get all those things and all the info is free anyway, why should I bother getting a sway plan at all?

    Not everyone has time to do all the research required to make their own plan. The Custom Sway Plans are ideal for working moms or anyone who is busy or not interested in doing a lot of research into swaying.

    Also, if you're not a detail-oriented person and the idea of spending hours reading and planning a sway feels scary or overwhelming to you...or for you boy moms out there, if you ARE detail-oriented person and are worried that getting too swaycessed will cause your T levels to either case a Custom Plan may be right for you.

    Aside from that, the Custom Sway Plans and the Dream Memberships help to keep the site going (without ads!!) and allows atomic sagebrush to help people with swaying as a job rather than working outside the home. (Thank you!! )

    How long does it take and how will I get it?

    The plans take about a week to finish, give or take a day or two. (Note from atomic - Believe it or not, my children's sleep habits are the main consideration because I like to be able to really focus on the plans when I do them. If you wonder why I'm answering questions and not doing your plan, it's because my children are awake and I want to give your plan my full concentration.)

    If you need a plan right away for some reason, let atomic know and she can adjust her schedule accordingly. She will also answer any questions you have right away as soon as you buy the plan - you don't need to wait for your plan.

    After you purchase your plan you will have access to a couple of questionnaires. The info you supply will help atomic first with your sway plan, then in an ongoing fashion over the next 6 months while she helps with your sway.

    You will get your plan in your own private forum. You can post your questions in that forum or send to atomic via PM. Keeping your questions in your forum can be handy for both you and atomic to have access to all your info under one "roof" so to speak, but whatever is convenient for you is fine!

    Can other people see my private forum?

    The forums are totally private, only you, atomic, and nuthinbutpink (she handles the technical issues with the site and doesn't answer sway questions) can see them.

    What happens after 6 months?

    After 6 months, your private forum goes away if you don't need it any more (we save the data in case you do want to renew in the future). Atomic's goal is to have all swayers pg within 6 months anyway. You are always welcome to renew your plan if you like!!

    Also, if your circumstances change and you need a new plan, as long as your forum is active, atomic will redesign your plan free of charge.

    How far in advance of my sway should I purchase my plan?

    For the average person, it typically takes about 3 months of planning and 3 months of swaying, which is how the 6 month figure was calculated.

    Some people are thinking of swaying some time in advance and want to know when to purchase a plan. That is really up to you. If it gives you some peace of mind to have a plan in hand a long time in advance, then it makes sense to buy a plan even if you're not going to sway for a year - you can get all the details ironed out with atomic and even work out your diet, then wait until you're ready.

    Also, if you have free time at present and expect to be busy in the future, it can be a good idea to have your plan and get all your q's answered while you have time to focus on swaying. We have had students buy plans while on break from classes and pregnant ladies buy plans before their new babies came.

    And if your circumstances change, as long as your forum is active (or you renew when you're ready to sway) atomic will redesign your plan free of charge.

    Wait a minute, I just came from IG and everything in my plan is DIFFERENT!?! What gives?

    A few people have had the expectation that the info on this site and IG will be identical. We have a different take on a lot of things and you can read about that here: IG vs. GD swaying? What's the difference? And who is this Atomic Sagebrush, anyway??. That having been said, atomic is also well versed in the IG-style sway and was actually forum mod on IG for a while, so if you would prefer to include any/all IG "factors" in your sway, please just let her know and she can include those in your plan. She will probably make you read the other side of the story, but at the end of it all, it's YOUR sway and we're like Burger King - you can have it your way! (as long as it's safe, that is.)

    The GenderDreaming info all hangs together logically, even though it does contradict that given on other sites at times. The goal of GenderDreaming swaying, including our Custom Sway Plans, is a safe, sane, science-based, and effective sway that you and your husband will actually be HAPPY doing. If at any point there is EVER anything in your sway that is confusing or seems to contradict any info you've read somewhere else, please just ask. Questions are always welcome and there is a reason for everything we recommend on this site.

    Thanks so much for considering purchasing a sway plan!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

  10. #10
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Eastern Washington State, USA
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    The MOST dangerous things for swaying

    That you should never ever do or I will come to your house and give you a stern talking-to!!!

    IF you or DH have any major health conditions, you need to put your health first and not do anything that can jeopardize that. Examples of health conditions that might be negatively affected by certain aspects of swaying include high blood pressure, diabetes or prediabetes, hyper/hypoglycemia, thyroid problems. If you are on any medications, make double and triple sure that they do not interact with any aspects of the swaying diets or supplements - and do this FOR YOURSELF, don't rely on me or Tamara or anyone else to do it for you, because we make mistakes!!!!

    DO NOT do at home IUI. Yes, they do sell kits to do it online but do not put ANYTHING into your uterus. You can get an infection that can kill you or leave you infertile. In fact, stay away from your cervix all together - you do not need and should NOT reach a finger into your cervix to try and pull it open to test pH. Regardless of who tells you to do this, DON'T.

    Douching has been linked to more ectopic pregnancies - this is almost 100% certainly as a result of increased infections (the kind you are trying to avoid by not doing at-home IUI and messing with your cervix) and not douching itself BUT just so you all are aware of the risk.

    DON'T take big handfuls of pills all at once and never swallow pills without water to wash them down with. They can get lodged in your throat and cause an ulcer that can KILL you. If you ever feel like you have a pill stuck in your throat, try eating a piece of bread with water to wash it down and if it doesn't get unstuck very soon, see a doctor. This has actually happened to people.

    DO NOT go over the amount listed on any supplement bottle. Not even if I, NBP, Tamara, the French Gender Diet people, Dr. Mercola, or anyone short of a medical doctor says it's ok (and even then, be skeptical). There are reasons why those limits are on the bottle and since each company formulates their pills a bit differently, it's best to follow their directions. Also be aware the differences between IU, mg, UG, mcg, g, DV - these are NOT equivalent measures and you need to be well aware how much you are taking.

    NEVER quit taking any vitamins/minerals cold turkey ESPECIALLY when pregnant. Slowly taper off over the course of a few weeks, either by taking smaller doses or by spacing your doses farther and farther apart. Any advice you read to "save money" by not taking vitamins/minerals during the 2WW is bad for your sway and bad for your body too. It is safe to stop taking SOME of the hormonal supps cold turkey, however, and in fact they work best taken that way.

    It's best to only ever start taking vitamins and minerals in amounts that are safe during pregnancy so you never have to even deal with it. Make very sure of each supp you are taking to see whether they are safe during the 2WW. Not safe during the 2WW - cranberry, saw palmetto, Lydia Pinkham, licorice/white peony, baking soda, vitex, and MANY other things are not safe during the 2WW. Always double check.

    Some supps are especially important to wean off of slowly - folic acid (which should be taken throughout the first trimester anyway), B6, baby aspirin should all be weaned off slowly rather than just stopped. Progesterone cream (which you probably shouldn't even mess around with unless you NEED it) MUST be continued throughout the first trimester of pregnancy EVERY DAY or you risk having a miscarriage.

    PLEASE PLEASE take a pregnancy test EVERY MONTH even if you are 100% sure you are not pregnant, before starting up your AF-O supps. You CAN have what seems like a normal AF and still be pregnant the entire time - this has actually happened to real live smart people and not just goofballs on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." It happened to me - I miscarried a twin, thought it was AF and swayed for weeks afterwards on a strict diet and vitex while pregnant and only by the grace of God is my baby healthy.

    Some supplements are NOT SAFE to take when breastfeeding. Saw Palmetto, cranberry, baby aspirin, among others. If you are swaying while breastfeeding, please be sane about what you put into your body and don't go overboard on any swaying supplements.


    Messing around too much with your potassium levels is DANGEROUS, either too much or too little can stop your heart and kill you. It is very easy to get potassium through diet and your body can tolerate it when you're getting it in foods, so please think long and hard before deciding to take potassium supps. You probably don't even need them for a blue sway because so many of the blue-friendly foods. Cream of Tartar IS potassium so take that into account. One of the side effects of taking potassium is that your body starts getting rid of LOTS of potassium (and this is especially true if your magnesium levels are low, as inm, blue swayers.) So if you are taking potassium supps and are now panicking and planning to quit taking them, taper yourself off slowly over a period of weeks. You can inadvertently become dangerously low by suddenly stopping potassium.

    Too much cranberry - this seems different for each person, too much causes bleeding/bruising and headaches, and can trigger bleeding in the stomach and brain that can kill you.

    Too much calcium (more than 3000 mg diet and supps combined - and even this is a heck of a lot of calcium - aim for 1200-1800 mg and that's ALL) If you take Tums for calcium, you run the risk of giving yourself "rebound acid reflux" where your body begins to overproduce stomach acid to make up for the alkalinity of the Tums.

    Too much magnesium - It can KILL you. Magnesium through diet doesn't seem to have this effect, only when taken as supplements. No more than 300 mg magnesium! And if you notice diarrhea at that level, cut back on it even more. (IG has magnesium listed as safe up to 600 mg in several places. This info is outdated and unfortunately did not get updated everywhere. A lady actually got really sick from too much magnesium.)

    Too much caffeine. Don't use caffeine pills, you don't need them.

    Too much WATER/liquid too quickly - you can die from drinking too much ESPECIALLY when playing around with your electrolytes. Please be sane. Peopel have totally died from this!!!

    Too much copper - more than 3 mg a day will kill you. Sometimes this is found in vitamin/mineral blends so be on the lookout for it.

    Too much zinc - again, this is found in multivitamins and some fertility aids, so watch out for a cumulative effect. The amount listed on IG is dangerously high. No more than 10-12 mg for DW and 20-25 at the very most for DH.

    Too much Vitamin C - 2000-5000 mg can cause miscarriage and no one needs to take this much anyway.

    Too much Vitamin A - Vitamin A through vegetables is safe, eat up!! But Vit. A through supplements should be kept well under the 100% suggested value because it can cause DEATH or BIRTH DEFECTS. Cod liver oil has Vit. A in it so you may want to watch out for it.

    Vitamin D - Too much Vitamin D can make you really sick, although medical professionals are currently revising their recommendations upwards. For now, it's best to stay within the 100% DV of this vitamin unless advised otherwise by your doctor. Cod liver oil also has Vit. D.

    Too much baking soda - more than 6 half teaspoons (meaning, a half-teaspoon 6 times for a total of 3 teaspoons or 3969 mg or 4 grams) including Alka-Selter, Ural, and any baking soda you absorb through your skin in a baking soda bath, a day, will KILL you. You do not need to be ingesting this much anyway, start with a very small amount and see if it raises your pH. If small doses work, there is NO NEED for megadoses. You also need to include the sodium content of baking soda into your day's salt and be careful not to get too much. Baking soda also has an antacid effect and can give you "rebound acid-reflux".

    Mixing alfalfa and black/blue cohosh can cause liver damage. It's probably best to stay away from those cohoshes anyway because they are linked to all sorts of badness.

    Both too much and too little sodium can cause health problems. Pink swayers, please eat at least 700-1000 mg of sodium and blue swayers please do not exceed 5000-6000 mg. Salt also depletes the body of folic acid, so please take extra folic acid when swaying blue. Anywhere between 2000-4000 mcg a day, split into several small dosages, will be absorbed best.

    Be VERY careful when taking blood thinners. In the girl diet, cranberry and baby aspirin are blood thinners, and in the boy sway, garlic and fish oil are blood thinners. If you notice unusual bruising/bleeding, or if your periods get heavier, stop taking these things right away and reintroduce them very very slowly. They can cause bleeding in your stomach and brain and KILL you.

    If you (or more likely, DH) are on prescription blood thinners DO NOT take any of these blood-thinning supps.

    Sudafed SUCKS. It gives people a lot of side effects and antihistamines work just as well if not better. Plus, it ups your chances of strokes, especially in young women who were taking blood thinners at the same time!

    Royal Jelly and Bee Pollen - If you have ANY type of allergies, either you yourself or anyone in your family, especially asthma or insect allergies, AVOID these supplements. You may be priming your body for a fatal allergic reaction. And if anyone you live with has a bee allergy, don't even bring them into your home. It's DANGEROUS. Also, if you're related to anyone with a nut allergy and you've never eaten a lot of nuts, you may want to stay away from them.

    Licorice root can cause high blood pressure and erectile dysfunction. It has also been linked to birth defects when taken by women BUT that info is very tenative. Do not take licorice while breastfeeding.

    Saw Palmetto can interact with a lot of different drugs (esp. anti-androgens) and may affect birth control pills and other hormonal drugs. It also affects cholesterol in a negative way. Do not take saw palmetto while breastfeeding.

    Aspartame - There is a lot of info out there about the dangers of aspartame BUT the FDA says it's safe. However, if you have PKU DO NOT use aspartame in any form because you cannot digest it properly and it can make you and your unborn baby very sick.

    Sugar Free Gum - Chewing sugar-free gum with Xylitol causes horrible diarrhea that can make your electrolytes get screwed up - since we're already playing with our electrolytes anyway, this can make us get really sick. As little as 10 pieces a day can cause diarrhea. In fact, all the artificial sweeteners that end in -ol can cause stomach upset when eaten in excess (and really you don't have to eat too much to get an upset stomach from it.)

    Eating more than 2 servings of fish a week is not a good idea due to the mercury content. Unfortunately in the TTC Blue FAQ on InGender, there is a phrase that says something like, "Fish oil with mercury sways pink" but that DOES NOT mean that if you are a pink swayer, you should ingest mercury. Mercury in ANY amount is highly unsafe and causes severe birth defects. Minamata disease - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    I would also stay well away from shellfish when TTC because it is the repository of agricultural runoff and other toxins. Pesticides and toxins in general sway pink, but that's not the kind of sway most of us are after.

    There are other minerals that have been linked with more girl conceptions like boron, but the reason for this is because people (usually DH) are being POISONED by excessive amounts of these minerals, not because they are good for swaying. Don't mess around with any large doses of any minerals, regardless of things you may have read about gender ratio.

    Going onto birth control pills for no reason other than to move your ovulation into the proper "moon phase" or any other reason having to do with swaying. BCP are not TicTacs, they come with their own set of risks that include strokes and fatal blood clots, and to use them to move your ovulation for a part of swaying that is totally unproven, is not a good idea.

    Antibiotic abuse (a lot of people are not going to like me for this but oh well) If you NEED antibiotics because you have an infection and you want to time your sway to get pregnant while taking them (for blue), that is fine. But to abuse antibiotics, by using someone else's prescription, obtaining them through false pretenses, or taking them in doses/patterns other than they are supposed to be taken, for the purposes of swaying, is an AWFUL idea. Again, antibiotics are not TicTacs, they have side effects that can be fatal and they can ruin your health permanently. Not only that, but abusing antibiotics may affect every other person on the face of the planet by helping to create drug-resistant strains of bacteria. DON'T do it.

    AND My humble opinion on two things that are often frowned upon...

    Yes, smoking is REALLY REALLY BAD for you and it's HORRIBLE to smoke when pregnant or around children. It makes your eggs and sperm lower in quality and ups your risk of miscarriage and birth defects substantially. You should def. quit and the sooner the better. BUT if you or DH already smokes, the fact is that smoking DOES sway pink and it's proven that it does, esp. in DH. I'm certainly not saying anyone should take up smoking and if you do smoke, you should quit if you can and never smoke while pregnant or around your kids. It's obviously a really really super bad thing to do and it will kill you at some point in the future, but if you're doing it anyway...well, now you know how it sways.

    Drinking - obviously drinking a lot DURING pregnancy is terrible and can cause serious problems with your baby BUT a drink here or there during swaying is safe and will not hurt you or your baby.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

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