Why do you want a boy or a girl?

[atomic sagebrush]

I very much long for a mother-son relationship

let's not forget that too!! I had very strong gender desire for a boy with my first, and was very happy when I got him! I was just greedy and also wanted a DD.

[blueeyedguys]

I never even considered I might have a boy. From the time I was 12 (or even younger, but definitely by that point), I was going to have 2 daughters. Twins, of course. And that was it.

Then my first was a son. I wasn't really surprised & I didn't have GD. I just knew I was going to have another at some point and it would be a girl.

Then I had an unplanned pregnancy & early miscarriage of twins. We decided to wait a few months and try again. With swaying. However, that was about 10 years ago. And I ended up having miscarriage after miscarriage. I thought the douching might be causing it (it wasn't) & all I wanted by that point was a baby who would stick. So, no more swaying.

I was a bit upset he was a boy, but figured I could talk dh into just one more try, which I did. And repeat of before, swaying, miscarriages, give up swaying, boy.

Had GD pretty badly. Was sure that was my last chance, especially since dh & I were having issues & then he spent 3 mths in hospital after nearly dying when ds3 was about 18mths. He was told he was probably infertile. And that's how ds4 happened. lol

My little miracle baby. But still a boy, although I never gave up hope he might be a girl the entire time I was pregnant (got told both at the ultrasound, but I'm pretty much against them & wasn't having another just to confirm which).

So here I am, at least 28 years of wanting a daughter and I have 4 sons instead. I'm not sure it matters after so many years why I want one. I just do. I'm sure there's stuff in there about passing on womanly wisdom & re-parenting myself through parenting her, but in the end, I just want a daughter.

[Midwest_Complex]

Blueyedguys- things have a way of working themselves out..4 handsome boys, surely one of them will give grandma a granddaughter one day.

I tell myself that, if I never get a boy, I'm sure one of my daughters will eventually.

[trying4twins]

So many of these replies resonate with me, though I am not swaying for gender, but for twins.

Twins have always been part of my life. I always thought as a child that I had a twin somewhere, or was a twin before I was born, but I have no way of knowing if there was a vanishing twin.

Two of my best friends in college were identical twin sisters, one of my best friends now is an identical twin (and I'm friends with her twin as well). One of my husband's best friends had identical twin girls a few years ago... and one of my good friends is expecting twin boys.

I've wanted twins since before I was married. I don't know why. I have read so much about twin pregnancies, twin births, nursing twins... etc. over the years.

So I have this feeling that if I never at least tried to sway for twins, I'd regret it.

If I get twins, that's awesome. If I don't, so be it. But the desire has been here for a long time...

[maidentomother]

^ I also wanted twins my whole life (I am a surviving identical twin and my mom is a twin), but since I miscarried BG twins almost 3 years ago I am now just happy for a singleton. Plus I am scared of what twins will do to my body.

Many people are surviving twins and if you have been obsessed with twins your whole life like I have, I bet you are too.

[yogi&booboo]

My Dh and Dh's husband highly desire a ds. My dh is one of two children one boy and one girl. His sister-in-law has 4 girls and we have three. My family there is a little of everything but its mainly my dh side that needs it.

[1+2+3boys]

^ I also wanted twins my whole life (I am a surviving identical twin and my mom is a twin), but since I miscarried BG twins almost 3 years ago I am now just happy for a singleton. Plus I am scared of what twins will do to my body.

Many people are surviving twins and if you have been obsessed with twins your whole life like I have, I bet you are too.

I totally agree with the last part of this post! I was always fasinated with twins and wished I had one but having twins certainly is the next best thing. It is tryuely magical watching the bond between my boys who are 2.5. It helps alot with my GD. If I can't have a daughter I at least get identical twins. Less people get to experience that than those who get to experience having a girl. I still want that girl though!

Having twins really did mess up my body. I'm one of the few lucky ladies who manage to bounce back without much effort to a fit body after a baby and it seems so unfair that twins is the only reason I can't now. Puts things into perspective for me at least with how so many Women struggle getting back into shape. I have two terms because 'post baby body' really can not describe how I was after my first son so I use that term for after him and now 'post twin body.' I will need surgery if I want to get completely back into shape now but of coarse it is all worth it, a small sacrafice for the most perfect gift ever

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

I had a daughter. Step daughter from a previous marriage. She was so sweet, and smart... Then we had some problems with inlaw interference, normal defiance and just some bad times and I mistreated her. I was angry and took things personally and I was not a good person. I won't make excuses, or say I was young bc I had been given a gift and I took it for granted.... She is sometimes a part of my life but not like it could have been. My ex and I had 2 boys... I assumed #2 would be a girl....like mom had a boy/girl. Everyone had a boy/girl. I didn't find out until he was born as we weren't allowed to find out. I had fleetingly GD... More miffed than anything.
Fast forward 10 yrs... New husband, new baby. I assumed it would be a girl. Idk why... All dhs family is boys. 3D US showed boy. I got out of the room before I bawled but when I did it was for days and days... Then guilt for feeling bad.... #4 I just came to terms with being a boy and I found out at emergency at 12.5 wk that he in fact was. I was by myself and it was a just a little lump I swallowed. No tears.
Then soon after ds4 was born I found this site.... Idk but this buried hope came alive and as atomic said earlier - the heart wants what the heart wants.
I'm a different person than I was when my life fell apart and I wasn't a good mother at all to my sd - but I feel God is punishing me sometimes... I am really hoping he lets up and sees I would be a wonderful mother to a little girl, but I knew after all this if is another boy I will be ecstatic by the time he arrives but upon finding out I'll be pretty down.



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[atomic sagebrush]

My stepmother is very very dear to me, Hitme - don't give up because it can be a very positive relationship!!!

[maidentomother]

I am also very close to my stepmum, she's amazing and puts my bio mom to shame.