Your opinion on if this is implantation bleeding or period

[CarolineSinclair]

I had an unmedicated, unmonitored IUI done on July 15. I had had my period start on June 28, and I didn't start testing with the ovulation kit until day 14 after that, and I didn't have a surge, but it looked like I had one on the 17th day, July 14, so I went in on the 15th for the procedure.

During it, the doctor asked the nurse to come over and said "something's not right here", but he never told me what he meant. It pinched a lot and I wondered if maybe my cervix wasn't open and I hadn't really ovulated.

July 29 was when they wanted me to come in for a blood test. I got what seems to be a period on that day, even though that was about 2 days past the latest that I thought my period would be due. I realized after I did the IUI that I wasn't ready for this and didn't really want it to work, and I stressed unbelievably ever since. I also have done some exercises I usually don't do, like swimming, so I don't know if that could have thrown my period off.

I am 39 years old, will be 40 at the end of September. My periods have been pretty irregular this year in the sense that they have come anywhere from 25 to 30 days. In May I had a 30 day cycle. My ovulation seems to be irregular as well, as once it seemed to be early and another time, it seemed late.

The first day of what appears to be my period was quite heavy with clots, red, yesterday was pretty typical second day of a period for me, and cramping and everything, and today I've had it but it seems to be tapering a little bit in heaviness, which is not atypical for me with a period, but still, I'm scared it's really implantation bleeding and not my period.

I've been testing many days with Clear Blue HPT, and they've all been negative, the last one I did was the 28th and that was negative. I also went to Planned Parenthood yesterday and they tested my urine and said it was negative. I did tell them my fears that this is just implantation bleeding and they did tell me to take another home test on August 5th to be totally sure, though the nurse was pretty certain that the testing they did was accurate.

Of course I will do the testing on August 5th, but I was wondering what your opinion was, do you think that this is implantation bleeding? My periods generally aren't that heavy anyway and they do only last about 5 days, in fact the 5th day is usually just a bit of brown spotting. I've also lost some weight because of my anxiety, not sure if that could affect anything.

[atomic sagebrush]

It's almost certainly a period. Implantation bleeding is very light spotting, usually rusty brown. Not a full blown period bleed. Bleeding + negative pg test = not pregnant.

I had what I thought was a period once when I was pregnant (was pg with twins and lost one) but everything you are describing to me makes me think that you are not pregnant (If I would have tested, I woudl have had a positive test even as I was having the bleeding). If you do ever decide to go ahead with IUI in the future, DO NOT pay that kind of money without your doctor's office monitoring your cycle!!! Using OPK's to time an IUI is bad medicine because you need to know when to have the IUI.

You need to find out what your doctor was talking about or you're going to be haunted by it forever.

Just so you know in the future, periods that vary from 25-30 days are NOT pretty irregular. That is normal. Also, stress and exercise cannot delay your period from coming, it can only delay ovulation, which then in turn delays AF (because your period comes 14 days after ovulation or so, regardless of if you Oed early or late.)

[CarolineSinclair]

Thanks for the answer, sagebrush.

I won't be going back to that clinic if I do anything in the future. They weren't very helpful to me when I discussed egg freezing with them, instead they pushed me to do an IUI, the doctor even called me up and chided me about not having the sperm ordered when he wanted it, and I had to hurry up and order sperm and I am not really satisfied with the donor I picked.

The nurse didn't call me at least a couple of times when I had some questions for her, and this spring when I asked about my estrogen being a bit high, she got irritated with me for calling and said, "It's not that bad, but you have to do something now or you'll never have a baby!". She said this to me in a mean voice.

When I had the procedure done, they showed me the sperm and it looked yellow. My sister said that it shouldn't have been yellow but we don't know, maybe it's because it was frozen?

And whenever I discussed gender swaying options, they would dismiss me. I had expressed my opinion that it would be better for me to have a girl because of my single status and that I am not really into things boys typically are. I also expressed concern about the increased risk of Autism and Down's in boys, and the nurse just said, "If a girl gets Autism, it's worse than when a boy does."

They were well aware that my financial status and living situation were far from ideal for raising a baby at this time, but they encouraged me to do the IUI, saying it was now or never.

And finally, during the procedure, the doctor held up his glove and said, "It's going to be a boy. See? My glove is blue!", and laughed. Now this was knowing that I had said I was a little afraid of IUI because I had heard it swayed boy and I felt I wasn't in the best position to raise a boy.

Then during the procedure, he kept telling me the nurse, who wasn't my regular nurse btw, but that might have been a good thing, he kept saying she's transgender and my baby might be too. Now I have nothing against transgenders at all, but I still thought it was like he was making a joke out of my procedure and I didn't really like it.

Then when I decided I wanted no more communication with them, the nurse continued to harass me about letting them do the blood test and sending me papers. I had already told the office I didn't want them to be the ones to test me. The office manager said I'm not under legal obligation to report anything to them since it was just an IUI and not IVF.

I just feel like they didn't care about my concerns and made light of my entire situation and pretty much just wanted to get what money off me that they felt they could before I moved on.

I would like to know what he meant about "something's not right", but I'd rather not speak to him anymore.

[has2gentlemen]

Honestly all you can do is to request your records in writing and go to a different clinic if you decide to try again. After what you have said in other posts, however, I would strongly advise talking to your mental health professional first, and developing a good, healthy relationship with your desire to be a parent before moving forward with any other procedures. Then find a clinic or doctor who you can have open conversations with about your choice of procedure and your history. Having a child isn't something you should go into with this many concerns right off the bat. Please, as someone who has also experienced anxiety and depression issues for my entire adult life, get help before you go any further in this journey. A baby isn't going to fix this and it's possible it may make it worse.


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[CarolineSinclair]

Yes, I know, I won't be going the IUI with donor sperm route ever again. It wasn't for me. The most I would do is have my eggs frozen and if I got married, try IVF or try naturally or with IUI with his sperm. I was not ready for this because I am not independant, or have a husband or even partner to share any of this with, but I was sort of feeling like it was now or never. I wasn't thinking of the enormity of the situation, but I have now and I won't be putting myself, my family or a child, through this ever again.i

[atomic sagebrush]

Yep, they sound absolutely horrible, like they were mocking you and that is inexcusable.

That having been said as a general rule my advice is to never discuss anything swaying related with doctors. They are ignorant about it and dismiss it out of hand and then treat you like a superstitious nitwit, unfortunately others have had similar experiences. EVen though they are actually the ones who are uninformed about the science, they're so used to being treated like omniscient god-like beings, the idea that there might be something they don't know about is totally foreign to them. Just keep it to yourself next time.

The reason why they are pushing you to hurry up is because, just being totally honest here, you're out of time. The honest truth is egg freezing at 39 is not going to give you good results either. You'll be putting out big money for something that is probably not going to be high success rates. I wish I could tell you something different but it is the reality of the situation. I am not saying this to hurry you into making a decision that you aren't ready to make, but simply because I hate to see anyone expend their financial resources on something that is very slim likelihood of working out.

Wishing you the very best moving forward in the future.

[CarolineSinclair]

I feel like I should do the egg freezing if I can, just to feel like I tried everything I could.

I don't want to do another IUI because I just don't feel I have a right situation to bring a child into at this time. It could also be another failure. At least if I get the eggs frozen and get a husband or a good job in the meantime, I'll know they are there and we can at least try. I have heard of women who have conceived naturally in their early 40's. I'm just not ready to close the door completely on a biological child if there is even a slight chance I might have one when /if my life improves.

I guess it just depends on if there are any left to harvest. I also would prefer not to use Shady Grove, even though they are the closest to me. I don't feel they did a great job with my IUI, so I don't know if they would be good with the egg freezing either. I certainly wouldn't use that doctor and nurse again, the office manager said I can try another team.

[atomic sagebrush]

Totally up to you, just wanted you to be informed because sometimes the fert. clinics give an overly rosy picture of the reality of the situation.

They may be able to get some eggs, just no guarantee that they are good quality to produce a baby, that's all.

Hoping that it all works out in your favor!!

[CarolineSinclair]

Yes, I understand. I know the clinics want to make money, so they might mislead me. Still, I might be mad at myself if I didn't think I at least made an effort, so it might be worth it if it gives me hope, even if it is false hope, lol.

Thanks for the well wishes sagebrush, and for listening to me and responding!