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  1. #1
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    frequency of BD for pink and blue

    FREQUENCY OF INTERCOURSE - an overview

    The amount, pattern and frequency of intercourse is an important part of a good sway. It’s not really timing, but it may be the real reason why timing was once thought to sway, because couples were advised to DTD in these patterns AND on a certain day for timing. Timing has been investigated thoroughly and both genders are conceived in roughly equal numbers on every day, so it's unlikely that timing alone is swaying - it's probably the frequency patterns that sway.

    Let’s take a closer look at this sometimes confusing sway strategy. I include the strategies for both girl and boy swaying so you can read them and know what NOT to do as well.

    Anything that increases fertility of a couple overall and most important, the numbers of sperm of BOTH genders that survive to make it to the egg, sways blue. Anything that decreases the fertility of a couple overall and limits the number of sperm that makes it to the egg (while still allowing enough to achieve pregnancy), sways pink. This is not about killing off more X than Y or vice versa, because we don’t know how to do that, and it is probably not even possible to do that (please read http://genderdreaming.com/forum/show...rm-and-Y-sperm.

    With that in mind, here is more about the frequency of intercourse and how it is best included in a sway.

    Frequency strategies for pink: These strategies will lower sperm count overall, leaving less sperm to go onto the egg. As a result, they may reduce your odds of pregnancy, especially if you are doing a lot of other things to sway. If you cannot get pregnant, you have zero shot at your DG. Remember, there is no law that says you HAVE to include any of these things in your sway, so if you’re in a big hurry to get pregnant or something just doesn‘t feel right for you as a couple, keep in mind that you always have the option to forgo any sway strategy - there is no ONE way to sway.

    Frequent Release: DH releases (ejaculates) every day, at least once a day and more often whenever he can, for 7-10 days or more if he can. You can use frequent release with one attempt, with a cutoff of 2-3 days, at ovulation, with an O+12 attempt, or with a combo of these. Please read http://genderdreaming.com/forum/show...toff-with-O-12 for a more in depth explanation of how you might combine timing with frequency. For this strategy, he will release outside your body and only use the last batch of semen to inseminate you.

    Frequent BD, either with a cutoff or through O: For those in a greater hurry to get pg, it is possible to DTD for 7-10 days rather than having your husband release outside your body. You can use frequent BD either with a cutoff (so stop DTD 2-3 days prior to ovulation) or you can BD through O for higher odds of pregnancy. (this will raise pH, but if you use RepHresh/Acijel to lower pH, you may be able to counteract this.)

    You can also mix these up and have him release outside some or most of the time as well - as an example, you might have him release outside your body until you’re nearing O (either you get a positive OPK or you begin 2-3 days before you expect to O) and then begin to have him release inside, or release inside every other time, until you’re sure you’ve ovulated. This might be a good option if you want to get pg quickly but you’re worried about pH.

    The important thing is, that he HAS to release every day at least once and pref. more, for at least 7-10 days prior to when you BEGIN your BD attempts...it can't just be 7-10 days before O itself if you attempt starting at a cutoff timing because that means there will be sperm from only 5-7 days FR, and that may sway blue for some men.

    Abstaining: DH will need to abstain for 7-10 days prior to one attempt. Some people even do super-long abstains of 14 days or more. You can have this attempt with a cutoff, with one attempt at ovulation, or with an O+12. Warning - abstaining has been linked to bad sperm quality, and a slightly increased risk of birth defects in men over 35, so this def. has some downsides. It may prevent you from getting pregnant all together and remember, if you can't get pregnant, you can't get your DG.

    Combining Abstaining and FR: You can use this as an emergency tactic when 1) you ovulated early or late and were not able to complete a full 7-10 day abstain 2) your husband had a nocturnal emission or a moment of weakness and can no longer have a full 7-10 days of abstaining before you O.

    Or, you can do it by design to increase your odds of pg and fit in more than one attempt. The sperm count will be diminished by the long abstain and then will never have a chance to recover if you switch to very frequent BD immediately.

    To do this method, abstain from the beginning of AF to either a cutoff timing (2-3 DBO) or to when you get a positive OPK. DTD with the first ejaculation after the abstain and use that for insemination. Then, have your husband begin to release as much as he can. You can use all of these for insemination (using RepHresh or another jelly to lower pH if desired) or you can only use the last one prior to ovulation/cutoff - so you would use the first ejaculation after abstaining, and then a second ejaculation after DH had released himself as many times as he was able to in a day or two or three.

    To illustrate for more clarity, let’s say Swayer 1 wanted to have a cutoff. She could have her husband abstain for 7-10 days, then 2, 3, or even 4 DBO they would BD once, with ejaculation inside (since they will be DTD more than once, they may want to begin with a longer cutoff than a couple doing only one attempt does). Immediately afterwards, they could DTD a second time inside, OR her husband could release and they could dump that batch. He could continue releasing as much as he could and they could choose whether or not to have him ejaculate inside or to dump them, depending on how in a hurry they were to conceive and what else they were doing to sway. A couple that is doing a lot of sperm-unfriendly things to sway, might want to have more attempts inside, while a couple that is mostly relying on frequency of intercourse to sway and not doing jellies or antihistamine, might prefer to stick with only one or two attempts inside, dumping the rest. A couple in a big hurry to get pg might want to do all the attempts inside and not do jellies/anthistamines. Then, at 2 DBO they would stop attempting and wait for the egg to be released and hope that the sperm already deposited, will go onto fertilize it.

    Swayer 2 wants to BD through O, so she might abstain until she got a pos OPK, usually 12-36 hours before ovulation. They could DTD once that day inside, then as soon as DH was able to, they could DTD again, either inside or dumping it. The next day, they could DTD once in the morning and again at night, and again the day after that. Sometime on that third day, it’s probably O+12 timing. The sperm count never really has time to recover from the abstain, so it stays on the low side throughout, but they’re still upping their odds of pg, esp. if they’re doing a lot of other things to sway. They could also just use the first abstain and then have DH release as much as he could and use only the O+12 batch for a second insemination if they wanted to, or use one batch per day and dump the rest.

    To illustrate a couple of emergency situations, let’s say you were expecting to O on CD 14 and you DTD on CD 12. But you don’t get a pos OPK until CD 16. Your odds of pg are very low at that point. But if you have your husband switch from abstaining to FR after your first attempt, you can try again at any point and still feel pretty good about it. Or, you find out that your husband had a nocturnal emission on CD 10 and you wanted to have your attempt on CD 12 - that would be a frequency of 2 days, which is ideal for raising sperm count. As soon as you learn of the “whoops”, have him begin to release 2 or 3 times a day, then go ahead with your attempt on CD 12 and again, you can feel good about that attempt because the sperm numbers had no opportunity to recover.

    Compressed FR: You can use this as an emergency tactic if you were trying to go for FR but something came up and you missed a day here or there, or if you have a very irregular ovulation or a very long cycle (which does happen sometimes when you begin to sway pink, even if you‘ve always had a regular cycle) and the idea of FR for 3 and 4 weeks or even longer is daunting. Or, you can do it by design for those husbands who really cannot manage either FR or abstaining.

    DTD in whatever pattern you prefer until you get a positive OPK. (you could potentially use this with a cutoff, but if something happens and you O late, you could end up with your DH having to release for several days in a row and that’s what you’re trying to prevent by doing this technique.) Then, have DH release once and dump the first batch - DO NOT use this batch for insemination, no matter what. As soon as he is capable, have him DTD again…you can use this second batch for insemination or dump it, too. By the time the third batch rolls around (again, as soon as he is able to), the count will be a lot lower than it was and you can use all subsequent batches for insemination. Keep DTD as much as you can until you’re sure you have Oed and the egg is gone. Or, you can use only one batch for insemination if you prefer.

    To use this as an emergency tactic, let’s say that you were going for FR but one of your kids got sick in the night and ended up in your bed and then your MIL stopped by unexpectedly on another day. So you missed a couple of days in the middle of your 7-10 day FR. You’ve only had 2 days in a row of release and now you’re going to O in 2 days. Don’t panic. Have DH release once and dump it, then as soon as he is able, DTD again and use that second batch if you like or wait for a third batch. Keep DH releasing as much as possible through O, using or dumping batches depending on your preference. If you’re doing a lot of other things to sway, you may want to finish inside every time, or if you’re not doing much, then you may only want to use one or two of these batches.

    NOTE: taking licorice root may lower sperm count too far if doing abstain, and it also can make frequent release very difficult for some men to accomplish.

    For blue, it's much simpler. For maximizing sperm numbers, you want to BD every 2-4 days from AF-O. You can have DH release outside your body if you like, but some evidence indicates that actually DTD helps to increase sperm count and raise male testosterone.

    One attempt at O: Traditionally, people TTC a boy with one attempt on O day. In order to do this, you'll just have your husband release (either by himself or using a non-spermicide condom) every 2-3 days until you get a positive OPK, and then DTD once the day after your positive OPK, using that batch for insemination. The downside of this is that if you ovulate on a day other than you were expecting, you might end up with only a 1 day turnaround...so if you DTD on CD 13, expecting to O on CD 14 but instead Oed on CD 15, either you have a 2 day cutoff (some believe this sways pink) or else you have to DTD 2 consecutive days in a row, on both CD 13 and 14 (may lower sperm numbers and sway pink). If this does happen to you, remember that the pink swayers must DTD 7-10 days for frequent release to work or else DTD several times in only a few days. DTD two consecutive days ~probably~ does not sway pink for most guys and the supps your DH is taking for sperm quality, will only help him.

    Dual attempts: Some people will want to fit in more than one attempt in their fertile window and I believe this helps sway blue by increasing overall sperm numbers that survive to make it to the egg. In addition, it also raises pH. For example, one couple might O-2 and then again on O, or O-3 and O-1, or even DTD three days in a row, O-2, O-1, and again on O day - this should not diminish your husband’s sperm count and sway pink because it takes 7-10 days of frequent release to do that for most guys (don't do any more than three consecutive days, though). Others will prefer to stick with the traditional timing and have only one attempt on O as described above.

    Good luck!!!
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; October 7th, 2011 at 02:33 PM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

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  3. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Rainbowflower had a great post on another thread that I thought went very well with this topic.

    Questions to ask yourself when deciding what frequency strategy to use for PINK:

    Are your cycles regular?

    Is your DH over 35? (if so abstinance is not recommended)

    Is your DH capable of abstaining? (some men have night-time accidents in their sleep if they have to go too long without releasing... and some men get too frustrated)

    Could your DH release every day?

    How frequently did he release when you conceived any existing children? if he already released daily perhaps you would need to try releasing twice daily

    both have their advantages and disadvantages

    with regular BD (i.e. not regular releasing and discarding) you up the chance of pregnancy a lot, especially if doing a cut off, but can raise pH although you could use douching/rephresh to sort that

    with regular release and perhaps just one attempt you get the lower sperm count benefits but not the pH rise, and also less chance of conceiving

    abstaining gives you only one shot so less chance of pregnancy, but is probably less stressful and wouldn't raise either of your testosterone levels

    frequent release only every 24hrs might not be enough for some couples to lower sperm count enough

    if your cycles are irregular it can be exhausting to release daily with no end in sight

    personally I believe compressed frequent release and abstaining are best for lowering sperm count

    if not using a cut off compressed frequent release might be easiest as you can just release and discard when you get a pos OPK and then DTD as soon as you can after that. sperm count will be significantly lowered, testosterone won't be raised, and less stressful overall. Better chance of conceiving that way too.

    I must point out that with a 3+ day cut off you only have a 10% chance of conceiving each cycle even without swaying, so swaying could lower this further. If you want to conceive faster you should aim to get more BD attempts in before OV.

    hope that's some food for thought!
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; November 8th, 2011 at 04:28 PM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    CUSTOM SWAYERS if your coaching thread is more than 50 pages long please start a new post with a link to the old one (so I can still reference it easily) thank you!

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  5. #3
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    Thankyou soooo much for this!!!
    Fathers Day baby!


    Busy Mummy of 5 now working from home: www.oz.scentsy.com.au

  6. #4
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    Thank you Atomic! This topic has always confused me. Now I think I have a plan!

  7. #5
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    Okay. well, here's what confuses me. I seem to be O'ing very early now (CD12-13) so that doesn't leave many days for DH to store up his swimmers. I guess he can abstain for the last part of AF for 2-3 days, then we can DTD starting CD 9 or so? I think that would have been good this time... CD9, 11, 13? Is that okay? Or should I DTD when I get a +opk (I usually get them for 24 hrs or more).? I can't decide!!
    2004 2006 2010 2012

    My BOY sway worked!! THANK YOU GENDER DREAMING!!

  8. #6
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    Personally I think that plan sounds good hobberittens - 9, 11 and 13 - that's 3 viable attempts, all with a good 2 day abstinence in between

    Thanks for writing this up Atomic, I think it'll be really helpful.
    2005 2007 2009 2012

  9. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hobbermittens View Post
    Okay. well, here's what confuses me. I seem to be O'ing very early now (CD12-13) so that doesn't leave many days for DH to store up his swimmers. I guess he can abstain for the last part of AF for 2-3 days, then we can DTD starting CD 9 or so? I think that would have been good this time... CD9, 11, 13? Is that okay? Or should I DTD when I get a +opk (I usually get them for 24 hrs or more).? I can't decide!!
    I think both are viable options, it just all depends on how much stock you put into timing. If it just feels scary and wrong to you to DTD on CD 9, you can always skip that day or else just BD once when you get the pos OPK. Personally, I feel like the more attempts, the better for blue so I like that plan of BD 3 times. Entirely up to you.
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    Do you recommend DTD the day of the +opk or 12hr after? I do the opks every 4 hrs or so, so I know exactly when they become +.
    2004 2006 2010 2012

    My BOY sway worked!! THANK YOU GENDER DREAMING!!

  11. #9
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    If it were me, I would DTD the night of the pos OPK and then again the next day, but I don't put much stock into timing and I also think that the overall sperm numbers that are in DW's repro tract matter more than the sperm count itself (so even if some guys might have a small decrease in number of swimmers from 2 shots back to back, by virtue of having more sperm on hand to make it to the egg will counteract that and sway blue even more so.)

    For strict timing, DTD the day after pos OPK.
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  12. #10
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    One attempt at O: Traditionally, people TTC a boy with one attempt on O day. In order to do this, you'll just DTD every 2-3 days until you get a positive OPK, and then DTD once the day after your positive OPK.
    I thought one attempt is dtd on O day only and that's it. If we also dtd 2-3 till +opk and then on O day too that's just like the dual attempt because for sure you have a O-3 or O-2 in there, right?

    if you DTD on CD 13, expecting to O on CD 15 but instead Oed on CD 14, either you have a 2 day cutoff
    isn't this a 1 day cut off? You dtd 1 day before O right?

    I just need to be sure here to do it right.
    +1

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