Team Green or Gender Scan

[atomic sagebrush]

^^^That's an excellent point, Coral...the longer you go on not knowing, the stronger the "shock" may be.

Has anyone else noticed that when you wait for things sometimes they take on an almost epic importance in your mind? Like a doctor's appointment you have to wait weeks for vs. only a couple days, you dwell on it and get all nervous? That's what I think happens with people who don't find out - it's almost like it consumes them and they get all obsessed over symptoms and cravings and heartbeat and things the tech said during the ultrasound, etc. But they don't want to find out because "well, it will ruin my pregnancy" and I'm like "It IS ruining your pregnancy anyway!!"

So, if you're not going to find out in the hopes of having a happy pregnancy, you may end up just as uptight over not knowing as you are over knowing. For whatever that is worth, if anything

[XXforhubby]

I agree! It's easy for me to relax and accept whatever this little baby is, because I know I'm going to find out at my scan in a few weeks. I cannot imagine going team green- I would be a wreck! I'm just trying to get through this morning sickness and food aversion to fruit except bananas- they taste like cough medicine . I think this is why I haven't gained any weight so far at 8 weeks. I'm having to redefine my whole diet



DS1, DS2, & DS3
EDD 9/30/2017 for pink

[Greydore]

^^^That's an excellent point, Coral...the longer you go on not knowing, the stronger the "shock" may be.

Has anyone else noticed that when you wait for things sometimes they take on an almost epic importance in your mind? Like a doctor's appointment you have to wait weeks for vs. only a couple days, you dwell on it and get all nervous? That's what I think happens with people who don't find out - it's almost like it consumes them and they get all obsessed over symptoms and cravings and heartbeat and things the tech said during the ultrasound, etc. But they don't want to find out because "well, it will ruin my pregnancy" and I'm like "It IS ruining your pregnancy anyway!!"

So, if you're not going to find out in the hopes of having a happy pregnancy, you may end up just as uptight over not knowing as you are over knowing. For whatever that is worth, if anything

Exactly! The ONLY reason I was team green with my first was because I was really okay not knowing. It seems odd, but I was. It didn't take much willpower not to find out (not even at the scan!) When I realized I wanted to know with my second, I did. Because if you want to, why NOT find out? Why spend your pregnancy using every ounce of willpower not to find out? It seems silly, because in the end your baby is going to be one or the other. I read forums of women looking for support in staying team green because they were struggling, and I usually asked, well, why don't you just find out? I didn't feel like finding out at 20 weeks was any less exciting than at birth. I actually might of been a bit more excited finding out at the scan because I could focus on it- after delivery I was so overwhelmed that finding out the sex was kind of like background noise to giving birth.

I will say, I'm an l&d nurse and I love surprises! But that's because I get to announce the sex, and I'm not the one that has to wait 9 months to find out

[Greydore]

Just wanted to add that I have a friend who had a similar situation to atomic. She was pregnant with her second (her husband's fourth), and they had 3 girls between them. She decided to wait until birth to find out sex because her husband wanted a boy so badly, she figured waiting was better. She desperately wanted to have a boy for him. She swayed boy, did shettles, Chinese gender calendar said boy, and everyone we met in town commented on how her belly definitely looked 'boy.' When she had a girl I was sad for all of them, going 9 months thinking you're definitely carrying your DG and hearing the opposite at delivery.

[atomic sagebrush]

If I could singlehandedly rid the world of the Chinese Gender Predictor and the old wives tales, I would. I didn't even have a gender desire when I got pregnant with DS 3, I just wanted another baby after 13 years. It was all the "this is for sure a girl because of these time honored traditions" BS that messed with my head!

[foxtrotmama]

I tried to go team green with my DS2, but happened to get a conclusive glimpse at an ultrasound. I had very little preference then though.

For my next baby, I couldn't do it. I know I will be very disappointed either way if I find out it's another boy, and I would much rather that happen with a twenty weeks or so to come to terms with it and greet my son with open arms than spend forty weeks convinced this is finally my daughter and have those feelings associated with a real live person who deserves my full attention and love.

[Butterflies buttercups]

That is a good way of looking at it foxtrotmama x


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[Kelbear]

I went team green with my first DS and was glad I did as I didn't really have a strong gender preference (a girl would have been great but knew we would have 2 children so was ok with a boy for our first). I was planning on going team green this pregnancy but saw an unmistakable boy nub at our 12 week scan (didn't realise it would be so clear) so now don't get that choice anymore. In some ways maybe that is a good thing as I am having to deal with my GD now and feelings of loss over never having my little girl as we are only having 2 children. I am hoping I will have completely accepted and embraced our second little man by the time he is born and won't have to deal with those feelings and sadness then.

[GirlieCat]

^^^That's an excellent point, Coral...the longer you go on not knowing, the stronger the "shock" may be.

Has anyone else noticed that when you wait for things sometimes they take on an almost epic importance in your mind? Like a doctor's appointment you have to wait weeks for vs. only a couple days, you dwell on it and get all nervous? That's what I think happens with people who don't find out - it's almost like it consumes them and they get all obsessed over symptoms and cravings and heartbeat and things the tech said during the ultrasound, etc. But they don't want to find out because "well, it will ruin my pregnancy" and I'm like "It IS ruining your pregnancy anyway!!"

So, if you're not going to find out in the hopes of having a happy pregnancy, you may end up just as uptight over not knowing as you are over knowing. For whatever that is worth, if anything

Excellent explanation Atomic! I couldn't agree more.