Hello there ... 40 year old, two boys, Vasectomy Reversal ahead of us.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks.
I'm still not sure if what we are doing is right/smart/risky/selfish/irrational/ok/heartfelt/loving/silly. I'm just so worried about the regret I shoulder and always wondering 'what if'.
Life is so short...
My husband is such a good guy.

Every life choice is like that though. There's a song that goes "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice" and I think there is a lot to that.

[Sweetplum]

Every life choice is like that though. There's a song that goes "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice" and I think there is a lot to that.

That is my reality now. The urologist called me today to set it all up. I was busy with a deadline for work...but now I have about 1/2 hour before I need to head off to pick up my son at camp and I can't find the courage to call her back to schedule it. The inability to finally take the leap is really hard on me, and depressing. If my husband didn't have to go through a surgery we would just be casually trying now.

I have never felt so unsure of something in my life...and unable to move forward.

The "not making a choice" route (IMO) is actually giving up completely. I need to choose to move forward with two kids or try for three....the saddest thing would be if I waffle too long, then realize the door in closed and my husband was still willing.

[Sweetplum]

I called her back. The reversal is scheduled for October 21.
It feels good to take this step...

[pinkone2013]

Wishing you all the best, hope all goes well

[Dreamsister]

I called her back. The reversal is scheduled for October 21.
It feels good to take this step...

So happy you made the choice. How long after the operation will you be able to TTC? I am sure everything will go well and now you have time to set your body up for pink with diet and cardio.


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) DH (38) TTC'ing pink from May 2016

[Sweetplum]

So happy you made the choice. How long after the operation will you be able to TTC? I am sure everything will go well and now you have time to set your body up for pink with diet and cardio.


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) DH (38) TTC'ing pink from May 2016

If all goes well we will start TTC at the beginning of November, about two weeks.
I have 16 weeks to sway but honestly I've been lightly swaying all year so far since I've been on and off thinking of this. My current weight is 8 lbs down from this time last year, and I'm losing steadily without killing myself.

My current sway is as follows. If Atomic reads this, I'd love to hear her two cents on it.

No prenatal til BFP (took these pre conception with both boys)
No omega 3 til BFP (took these pre conception with both boys)
800 mcg Folic Acid Daily
400 mg Ubiquinol Daily
No Aspartame
100% Vegetarian Diet
Lots of Caffiene
0-2 glasses alcohol max per day
Exercise 60 min per day (6-7 days a week)
Skip Breakfast
LE Diet

** Not tracking anything as I don't have energy
** I am not going to obsess because honestly I feel sort of defeated in many ways and with the reversal I'm just going to pray husband is OK and see what the universe has in store for our family.


When TTC
4 day cut off or BD every four days
(With both boys with DTD everyday for about 8 days before and after ovulation, I need a different strategy)
With TTC I have about 2 years of trying then I'm done. I'm OK with that.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, exactly. Hemming and hawing and postponing is really choosing not to. It's easier though, and so a lot of times we end up procrastinating ourselves into making the choice when really, if we pushed ourselves to decide for once and for all we would not necessarily do things that same way.

[atomic sagebrush]

Coffee instead of caffeine - we are not quite sure if it is something in coffee or if it is caffeine so to hedge our bets I prefer caffeinated coffee.

Do not do 4 day cutoff. BD every 4 days is a totally different thing!! Has nothing to do with cutoffs.

If you MUST do a cutoff, no more than 3 days max and 2 days is better.

your husband MUST be doing regular release every 2-4 days. NO abstain, no FR.

There is a HUGE difference between BD daily and having one attempt. Please don't get those mixed up and think you have to have a 4 day cutoff plus abstain for this to work!!!

[Sweetplum]

Yes, exactly. Hemming and hawing and postponing is really choosing not to. It's easier though, and so a lot of times we end up procrastinating ourselves into making the choice when really, if we pushed ourselves to decide for once and for all we would not necessarily do things that same way.

I am the opposite of a procrastinator really. With this whole deal though it's that we feel like we ALREADY made the decision when we got the V (move on with two) and to go back to the drawing board is so huge. It's such a weird place to be in. To know I want something and could have it but to have done something (for good reasons at the time) that prevents this from happening.

Anyway, it feels good to move forward with it. I'm still worried about it all but more hopeful and not as sad.

SIDE NOTE :
I have to say I'm concerned about what to say to those that know we got the V. If they are questioning things if we do end up pregnant.

I know our fertility and family planning is none of their business but in reality I should have a formulated response to those that ask and I want it to be positive, happy and hopeful - not something like "It's none of your business" as that isn't my style.

What would others say to the comment "Oh my gosh, that is great, but I thought you guys had a Vasectomy?"...nothing reactive or defensive though...would love to hear thoughts.....

[Serenity]

Hi Sweetplum,

I would probably say "I guess this little one was really meant to be!" and then excuse myself before they could ask any more questions that are none of their business anyhow.