Please help!

[HealthyGirl]

Need guidance and need to vent during this difficult time. Anyone been in this predicament?
To my surprise I just found out I’m pregnant with baby number # 3. It’s a total surprise since we had to get pregnant with baby # 2 with the help of fertility doctors.
We have 2 amazing boys age 2 and 5 and my husband is not handling this news well at all. I’m honestly not thrilled either since we have our hands already full and can’t imagine having 3 kids. Financially it’s doable but physically it’s not since our 2 boys weren’t easy as infants and the 5 year old is still challenging. I’m 38 and my husband is 40 and our age isn’t working in our favor either. My husband told me he made a list of pros and cons and he can’t find any pros to having a third child.
My logical side tells me the same things but part of me wants to see if this is a girl. I tols him I want to wait to find out gender at 10/11 weeks and he sees no point in it. He keeps saying he doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl or Albert Einstein. He says I should terminate this pregnancy for the sake and well being of our current family. I’m so hurt and conflicted. My logical part says he is correct but my emotional side says I should wait to find out sex but I’m worried waiting that long will make it more difficult. I’m worried if I end it now I will have resentment towards my husband and if for some reason we keep this pregnancy my husband will have resentment towards me.
Any insight is really appreciated it.

Thank you


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Noemi2017]

Please give this baby chance...try to speak about it with your husband that inside you is growing innocent baby and u cant end it. You would think about it all your life and im sure your husband too. Im sure this third baby will bring u just hapiness and pls if you dont want other baby use some contraception.
I pray you decide well

[Kelbear]

Sending you big hugs and hope you can work this out with your husband and make the decision that is right for you. I replied to your post in the tww thread and know what a hard place this is to be in as I am now finding myself facing a similar predicament and not knowing what to do or even how to tell my dh as I have just found out I am pregnant with #3 despite being on birth control (think this was due to a bout of bad gastro that went through the whole house that I didn't even think could possibly end up leading to this scenario as DH and I rarely get time alone together due to his work and a 2 1/2 yr old want 9 month old who is teething). I am wishing you all the best with your decision

[HealthyGirl]

Sending you big hugs and hope you can work this out with your husband and make the decision that is right for you. I replied to your post in the tww thread and know what a hard place this is to be in as I am now finding myself facing a similar predicament and not knowing what to do or even how to tell my dh as I have just found out I am pregnant with #3 despite being on birth control (think this was due to a bout of bad gastro that went through the whole house that I didn't even think could possibly end up leading to this scenario as DH and I rarely get time alone together due to his work and a 2 1/2 yr old want 9 month old who is teething). I am wishing you all the best with your decision

Kelbear can you please privately message me?
I tried messaging you but it won’t allow me. Thanks


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[atomic sagebrush]

I am so very sorry you're in this situation, Healthy.

I strongly suspect that either way one or the other of you will have resentment. You have one life to live and I find that while husbands may balk at the idea of another child, they warm up to them once they arrive. Whereas if you terminate, that's forever, and if you want to wait to find out gender then since you're the one who has to go through either a termination or a pregnancy, you have to be the one who decides that.

You are just about to get out of the hard phase with your kids. They do get better and right now you're looking at the equation from the very hardest point. Pretty soon they're going to be doing their own thing and you'll have way more time and I fear if you proceed with this, without knowing gender, you will never be able to let go of it.

No matter what, wishing you the very best and much in making what has to be a very difficult decision.

[Kelbear]

Kelbear can you please privately message me?
I tried messaging you but it won’t allow me. Thanks


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Tried to pm you but it says you have exceeded your private message quota and can't receive any more til you clear some. Sorry.

[atomic sagebrush]

Tried to pm you but it says you have exceeded your private message quota and can't receive any more til you clear some. Sorry.

Healthy, you just need to delete some old messages. That's why the PMs are not working.

[Throwaway_panther]

I don't think it's fair for anyone to tell you to keep or to terminate. It is YOUR body, and your decision. And you are not wrong for either choice. I always get so frustrated when I hear of the men in particular stressing a termination -- they know what can happen with sex. They don't get to do the fun part and then abscond responsibility when they change their mind.

I understand the anxiety over not knowing what decision is best. If you waited until gender, I'd definitely recommend doing the NIPT as soon as possible for medical and legal reasons. But there also comes the stress of navigating a first trimester without support from DH, or becoming attached to the pregnancy regardless of gender the longer you go.

No one can know the best answer to this than you, but I'd stress some sort of counseling between you and your DH. I echo atomic: I think men do tend to come around once a potentially unwanted child is here. But my concern would still be your feelings, since you're not sure how you feel as well. I am definitely thinking of you during this stressful time ♡