What if you could only have an opposite?

[dakota5176]

A few years ago I did pgd for a girl. I had one healthy girl and two healthy boys. I transferred the girl but it didn't take. I'm going to try another round or two but it doesn't look good. I'm older now 42 and may very well not have any normal embryos. We've been trying naturally for a year but no luck. I've talked to my dh about donor eggs but he is unconvinced.

So should I try to convince my dh to do pgd for a girl with donor eggs or use my own egg and have a boy?

One thing I'm worried about is being close with a boy when thy grow up.

[coocoobananas]

Do you have any children yet?

[atomic sagebrush]

That is why I knew PGD would never be for me (even if I could have afforded it, which I couldn't have LOL) I knew I would totally be transferring boys and heck I can brew one of them up at home.

I'd implant the boys in a heartbeat. There are some people who og HT because they really don't want another of the same gender, that was never the case for me, I was just greedy and wanted a girl too.

PLEASE don't worry about not being close with your boys as adults. My oldest sons are 22 and 19 and are and always have been super close with me (DH, not so much). I honestly think that "boys aren't close with their moms" thing is made up. I know tons of women who do not get along with their moms at all and tons of men who do. I feel like I share 85% of everything I wanted out of a mother-daughter relationship with my sons and that there was never any guarantee I'd get that last 15% from a girl child anyway.

[coocoobananas]

Same with me Atomic! I've never understood the wanting one gender over the other. It was just when I didn't get one of the other and than thought 'hey!! I want one of those too!!' Lol

[Eneli]

It's very personal. I think it depends on what is more important for you and your DH: if having a daughter (although she's from a donor) or having your own blood child (although he is a boy). If I were in your shoes the answer for me would not be easy...

[atomic sagebrush]

Forgot to mention that in terms of genetic relationships, they've studied it and found that the offspring you (mother) are actually guaranteed to be the closest related genetically will be your sons and your sons' daughters. The reason being the X chromosome, which controls a ton of stuff compared to the Y, in your daughter will be XX meaning that it will be in competition for getting passed down to future generations, with whatever is on your husband's X chromosome. Whereas with your sons, they only get your one X chromosome and so it's guaranteed that they and any daughters they have will 100% for sure be packing the paternal grandmother's DNA. The relative least related to a granddaughter is the paternal grandfather.

wow complex explanation there and I know that's not really how people's minds work but if the issue or any part of it is blood/genetic inheritance and that a donor embryo won't feel like "yours", well, your boys are really more YOU than your daughter would be anyway, if that makes any sense.

[Mamato3?]

Of course it's something that only you deep inside know what the best choice is.
But if it were me, IF i had the ability to have a healthy child that is biologically connected to me, the gender would not matter at all.
As far as the relationship between mother-son and mother-daughter is concerned, trust me you will fall in love with your child the minute you see its heartbeat at the very first U/S, and this love will keep you warm throughout your life.

[dakota5176]

I tried two more ivf cycles and had 10 embryos collected. Some arrested and of those that were tested I had only one normal a girl. I was really excited and did everything possible to increase my odds of success. A week ago I had a five day embryo transferred but today I got a bfn on an hpt. So upsetting and disappointing. I just blew a lot of money we don't have on something that has failed.

I was thinking of doing a few cycles of timed intercourse with injectibles but it seems hopeless. I'm 42.

Any advice anyone? I've already tried vitamins, diet, and acupuncture and it didn't work.

I'm just so frustrated.

[covered in blue]

Oh I'm sorry it didn't work out . I can just imagine how you feel. How do you and your DH feel about donor embryos? That might be an option but probably a bit of a waiting list. Overall cost would be lower than a donor cycle though. Maybe you could sway while you wait? I'd definitely get a custom plan though. Don't give up on your dream yet. It's still possible!

[covered in blue]

Do you have any boys yet? how many? Have you still got those embryos on ice?