DH acting weird

[MrsGoodies]

Dh birthday was this weekend and i had tried to make it as special as i could. I asked him what he wanted for dinner. He wanted prime rib so I went and bought a roast. He wanted pie instead of birthday cake, so I baked him one. He said he wanted to take the kids to a movie and eat popcorn in the afternoon before dinner. I said great! (Gives me time to cook). I asked what he wanted for breakfast...he wanted eggs benedict.

the morning of his birthday I got up, had a shower, put something sexy on....and he's asleep! I think, "ok, well i might as well get breakfast going". So i went downstairs to feed the kids and as I'm getting DH breakfast tray ready, he comes down and starts asking where he toilet bowl cleaner is! I look at him like "What?! Go to bed, your breakfast is almost ready"

Nope. He insisted on cleaning all of the toilets.

Then he went to watch tv in bed, so I bring him his breakfast while I went to put my slinky lingerie back on.

When i emerge from the bathroom dh is watching some marvel superhero show. After 10 min he finally shuts it off, puts on some porn, then shuts that off and rolls over and goes to sleep!

Whle I'm thinking if i should just pounce on him or maybe he's tired and wants more sleep....he jumps out of bed, gets dressed and says he's going to the bottle depot! Then 2 min later he comes back in the bedroom and says that I shouldnt bother making him any birthday pie. Before I can say anything he leaves!

The kids were all asking "when is daddy coming back? Are we going to the movies?" I had to shrug my shoulders.

I was annoyed but figured its HIS birthday. If he wants to spend it cleaning toilets and running to the bottle depot instead of having chilling out in bed and having s-e-x....well that's his decision.

I proceeded to make dinner as planned, WITH PIE.... He ate it and then at the end of the day said his birthday was "fine" in a sulky voice. Then muttered something about how i was being snappy at him and put him in a bad mood when i asked him why he was cleaning toilets (yes, seriously!)....then accused me of not being in the mood. When i reminded him i came to bed wearing lingere twice...and was brushed off twice....he said i was only doing it because i had to and i should have initiated sex f i *really* was interested.

I swear i am losing my mind (and patience) with him rapidly. any time i try to ask what he wrong he literally bites my head off!

If I say nothing...i'm "ignoring him"

If I say something....i'm being "critical/nag"

If I say something nicely...i'm being "sarcastic"

I don't know what the F is going on with him. Is this mid-life crisis stuff?

[Throwaway_panther]

Honestly sounds like depression -- definitely could be birthday triggered midlife crisis.

[atomic sagebrush]

My husband does the same thing. Turns me down then jokes about how we "never have sex" and "such a cliche". I think it's a control thing.

I must admit I do have a lot more sympathy for the women who used to be butts of jokes about how "they never put out" because I suspect it was a lot more complicated than the jokes make it.

[1moregirl]

So did he take your boys to the movie in the end MrsG? Certainly is a bit strange...who wants to clean toilets on their birthday? Lol! It does sound a bit like he was trying to behave like it was just any other ordinary day and not his birthday. I often find with my DH that when I want to BD I have to pretty much strip off and jump on him.

[atomic sagebrush]

My husband will sometimes do that as a rebuke, like if he thinks something is too messy, he'll clean it to prove some point. Used to bother me, now I'm just glad whatever it was got cleaned.

[MrsGoodies]

My husband will sometimes do that as a rebuke, like if he thinks something is too messy, he'll clean it to prove some point. Used to bother me, now I'm just glad whatever it was got cleaned.

1moregirl, no it was too late for movies so he played cards with them instead. Turns out my FIL calls him up first thing and starts moaning &complaining about how DH never spends time with him blah blah...put DH in a foul mood. Then FIL calls 2 more times each call worse than he last (my apartment is too hot. My ac isnt working. You need to go find me a new apartment TODAY...wtf!) after dh explained it all makes sense.

I think my FIL should patent his "angry old man" phone calls and market them as male birth control.

Atomc... Lmao! Cleaning toilets is DH's job. Of course he never does it so I would nag or pay the kids to do it or do it myself (like when i was preparing for my mc i wanted the bathroom spic & span)...so naturally DH just ignores it.

However i wasn't particularily fussed about the toilets this month...i just let them get dirtier & dirtier....finally had a huge gross black ring inside them....still ignored it and waited DH out!

Maybe he wanted clean toilets for a birthday present and decided to do it himself? He spends an inordinate amount of time in there with his ipad....

I'm glad they are clean so if he wants to do them on his birthday he can have at em.

[atomic sagebrush]

Our thing is the shower stall. The faucet drips and makes mildew grow a lot faster than it should, it's DH's job to fix it (and we've lived here for 3 years and it's not been done, and ironically we had the exact same problem in our old house and he didn't fix it there, either). I do all the cleaning (badly, it's not my strong suit admittedly) and would ordinarily clean it, but it takes tons of arm muscles to get rid of the mildew and I get exhausted after doing it plus the cleaners give me horrible eczema. So since it's really hard for me to do, and the leaky faucet is really DH's fault and if not for that I'd only need to do it 4x a year or so instead of every month, I often will just let it ride till he gets pissed and cleans it.