I need a serious pep talk ladies. Be firm with me please.

[1moregirl]

Ok...so I can feel AF on her bitch of a way. I have been a cranky old witch the past few days, I had some EWCM yesterday afternoon (which I often seem to get these days the day before AF arrives) and I am having lower back pain and the tummy cramps. Why do I feel surprised and disappointed? I'm truly hopeless. We had shit BD this last cycle, I didn't do any BBT or OPKs at all and one night of BD (twice in a row) and that was it. So here I am with my period imminent and due today and I have to go to my good friend's baby shower in less than 3 hours. The irony of this sucks! Remember last year some time when I found a bird nest in our garden with 2 little white eggs in it and then on the same day I cracked open two eggs that were double yolkers? This all got my hopes up and I had told this good friend about these things and when she told me she was pregnant she even told me these signs must've been for her but came through me. I kind of felt like she stole me fertility signs, which is ridiculous I know. But I'm 45 and due to turn 46 this year in October so surely I am being stupid and ridiculous and completely naive to even be feeling anything remotely like hope at the prospect of me conceiving again and having a healthy baby? So please, if I am wanting this, what do I need to do? I need to get firm advice about what I should be doing? I haven't been taking ubiquinol because I never seem to have the spare money. I do sometimes take a prenatal and started last night taking a combined folic acid and iron sup because I felt light headed yesterday and tired and haven't been eating much red meat. Do I keep up the BD pattern of SMEP? My acupuncturist last year told me we should BD the day before a Pos OPK and maybe again the next night...but her opinion of SMEP was it was overkill. I'm thinking maybe I need to take a magnesium sup for a bit too because I have been having cramps legs during the nights and early mornings. My chances feel so hopeless.

[MrsGoodies]

(hugs) 1moregirl,

I know how you feel. After TTC a little girl for 10 years straight, failed multiple hi tech cycles, numerous chemicals, and 4 mc in a row... I wonder if it will hapoen for me.

TTC every month is the only thing that keeps me sane on this horrible LE diet. At least I can take a break here and there in the 2ww.

I am taking all kinds of supplements including ubiquinol and i'm not sure if it is helping or not.

Anyhow, whenever I'm feeling down I just read this blog and it picks me right up again....plus SHE HAD A GIRL!

https://thegoodshufu.wordpress.com/2...rally-at-45-5/

[kc15880]

I could have written this post! EWMC last night, cramping & backache today (10dpo). I always get AF 10dpo so we are either both implantingo or AF is just lying in wait. FX for both of us! keep me posted! We only had 1 attempt this month at +opk but I wasnt well with gastro at the time & hardly into it at all as you can imagine. My best friend has a theory that bad sex always leads to pregnancy so we will have to wait & see!

[1moregirl]

Thanks guys. I got through this afternoon surprisingly well. There was another pregnant lady at the baby shower as well. But I was ok with it. Those lucky ladies are in their 30s and I guess I was back there once. Lol! Period hasn't arrived yet but I know it is coming. I have had a really short fuse and been quite cranky today. I just have that achey bloated feeling in the pit of my tummy, plus the irritability....def AF on her way. It's so hard because I often questoin myself as to whether I really want another pregnancy and baby again anyway. It all just seems to be high risk involved and it all sucks. I hope we all get lucky this year soon

[kc15880]

I got my BFP today at 11dpo. FX for you!

[MrsGoodies]

Congratulations kc!

I guess your theory on bad sex = PG worked! I'll have to keep that in mind as we move forward...lol

Did you do any swaying or simply ttc?

[kc15880]

Ive been on the LE diet for a year. I just posted my sway if you want to have a look

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, I will be firm.

I understand that you're feeling frustrated and scared and disappointed. I don't intend to minimize your feelings at all but I feel like I've said the same thing again and again and I really want you to hear me because I feel like you are making yourself miserable over this.

There is NOTHING I can tell you to do or not do that will magically make this happen. There are websites full of women who are taking this or that or the other thing and there is no magic pill. If there was, they'd all be taking it and getting pregnant and not hanging out on infertility websites. Either your body is going to make a good egg or it isn't. Either the sperm will catch the egg or it won't. You have to acknowledge it's in God/universe/luck's hands now and let go of this idea that there is some magic recipe that I or anyone can tell you in order to get pregnant because that's not how it works. At 45/46 it's possible, but it's a very longshot. What you have to ask yourself is "can I accept this month by month and hope for the best but not be completely devastated because the chances are 99% that I won't conceive".

Can you?

Ubiquinol is not a magic bullet. For all we know, it may even HURT our chances. Anyone who legitimately cannot afford it, PLEASE do not take it. There is simply just not the magic pill, the magic recipe. It's either in your DNA to be possible and then hopefully all will go right and sperm will meet egg, or it isn't.

Going onto a lower carb diet may help but I know you've had a hard time with that idea in the past.

DO NOT BD the day before a positive OPK (unless you also have more attempts later). That is piss poor chances of conception with one attempt. You don't have to do SMEP if that's stressful to you, just have regular sex. I'd try to put it out of my mind and just BD when hubby is willing.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that whatever the future holds for you it's really amazing.

[1moregirl]

Thanks for that last post Atomic. Everything you said rings loud and clear for sure. Will just keep plodding along this year with well-timed attempts and see what happens. We are officially homeschooling now and mine and my son's anxiety has disappeared and we aren't loving it. Every Friday we get together somewhere with other fellow homeschoolers in our area and have met some really lovely ladies out of it. I just need to tell my parents and get the courage to tell others around me. My parents are very old school, traditional and conventional and my father was a high school teacher, so you can imagine what their views of homeschooling are. Never mind!

I had some red blood-tinged watery CM last night too and wanted to ask if anyone knows what that means? I was CD 15 and CD 16 today. I think I had that happen once another time a few years ago. Strange...my period would've been finished by CD 5 or 6. Anyway, I need to buy some OPKs today as don't have any but I haven't had any EWCM as yet that I've noticed. I am also sporting my first cold sore in years (got sunburnt lips a week ago and paying for it) - does L-lysine sway girl Atomic? If not, I'll just wait til after this attempt to take it. Thanks ladies.

[MrsGoodies]

So glad to hear you are loving homeschooling 1moregirl.

Not sure what the cm means but good luck!

Ps. The best remedy for cold sores is getting them zapped with laser at the dentist when they first pop up.

Apparently, people who get the shingles vaccine eliminate cold sore outbreaks all together (haven't tried it though)

http://jeffreydachmd.com/wp-content/...aster-2012.pdf