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February 12th, 2018, 07:35 PM
#1
Miscarriage....where do I go from here?
I went to my OB appointment today and found out that the baby has passed. I should be exactly 14 weeks today but it measured 13+1. I'm so upset and looking for advice. I swayed (girl) so hard for this baby. I lost over 20 pounds, took Clomid (just for swaying), diet for 14 weeks, exercise every single day for 14 weeks, and did 1 attempt. When the doctor said she was gonna do a quick ultrasound because she couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler I was excited, I thought I would for sure be able to see the gender at this stage. It didn't even come across my mind that something was wrong. I'm devastated. They want me to do a D&C on Wednesday, Valentine's Day. What a terrible thing to associate with a day that celebrates love. Has anyone had a D&C before and can tell me what to expect? When did your cycle return? How long after did you wait to try again? Has anyone else lost a baby around 13 weeks? Did you ever find out why? All I can think of is being pregnant and having a baby. Where do I go from here?
Atomic- I've been eating whatever whenever during the last 13 weeks, I also completely stopped the exercise as soon as I saw the BFP. What do you recommend going forward? Another 3 months of exercise and diet? Also I got pregnant on the 3rd month of Clomid 50mg. I'm not sure how many months we're allowed to take it. Should I do Clomid again?
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February 12th, 2018, 10:11 PM
#2
Dream Vet
I just want to say how sorry I am Moebaby! This is heartbreaking for you to go through.
Sending healing thoughts to you xx
Proud Mum to two gorgeous boys
2014
2016
Swayed
expecting
beautiful DS3 due Feb 2019
Dreaming of a
in 2020
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February 12th, 2018, 11:04 PM
#3
I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I've had two early miscarriages/chemical pregnancies and...I just feel for you. They're awful and the hormones (for me at least) made me just cry all the time. But--but!--it will get easier. Be gentle with yourself. I can't speak to when to go back on the diet, but I'm sending you love and healing thoughts.
And for me, after my first miscarriage I did get pregnant on the cycle immediately after. Didn't happen when I tried a few years later (but I am quite old, really!) but I know a great many women who got pregnant very soon after a miscarriage.
I hope that helps to hear. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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February 13th, 2018, 10:31 AM
#4
Miscarriage....where do I go from here?
I’m so sorry for your loss I recently had a miscarriage in November and delivered her at 17 weeks, my swayed and prayed for daughter after 3 boys. I got pregnant with her on my 3rd round of clomid 50 mgs. I started trying again my first cycle back (Dec) I’m about to start my 3 round of clomid and praying I get pregnant this cycle. I’m doing a lighter sway, clomid, eating healthier (much more veggies/fruit) but still no meat. Also, switched to folate and taking around 2800 mg, and no exercise.
Also, we never found out why her heart stopped beating. NIPT came back good with no abnormalities. Hope this helps.
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February 13th, 2018, 03:34 PM
#5
Swaying Advice Coach
Oh Moe, I'm so sorry to read this.
What I would do is just go back on diet and exercise (when you feel up to it). IMO you should not TTC the first month out (most docs will advise against trying any sooner anyway) and that will give you plenty of time back on diet and exercise. You do not need to go the full 12 weeks again; you'll be depleted still from the pregnancy and loss.
You can use Clomid again and it will be like starting anew - you'd get another 3 months on it.
Sometimes you can find out what happened but usually you don't. Thyroid issues can sometimes cause losses around that stage, but it could also be chromosomal, a cord accident, a low grade infection, or just some other thing we don't understand. If they can find out what happened, they'll let you know, but be prepared that they won't know.
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February 13th, 2018, 03:43 PM
#6
Originally Posted by
MoeBabyx6
I went to my OB appointment today and found out that the baby has passed. I should be exactly 14 weeks today but it measured 13+1. I'm so upset and looking for advice. I swayed (girl) so hard for this baby. I lost over 20 pounds, took Clomid (just for swaying), diet for 14 weeks, exercise every single day for 14 weeks, and did 1 attempt. When the doctor said she was gonna do a quick ultrasound because she couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler I was excited, I thought I would for sure be able to see the gender at this stage. It didn't even come across my mind that something was wrong. I'm devastated. They want me to do a D&C on Wednesday, Valentine's Day. What a terrible thing to associate with a day that celebrates love. Has anyone had a D&C before and can tell me what to expect? When did your cycle return? How long after did you wait to try again? Has anyone else lost a baby around 13 weeks? Did you ever find out why? All I can think of is being pregnant and having a baby. Where do I go from here?
Atomic- I've been eating whatever whenever during the last 13 weeks, I also completely stopped the exercise as soon as I saw the BFP. What do you recommend going forward? Another 3 months of exercise and diet? Also I got pregnant on the 3rd month of Clomid 50mg. I'm not sure how many months we're allowed to take it. Should I do Clomid again?
First of all, I am so very sorry. We have had 6 miscarriages, the hardest one was at 12 weeks. I had a d&c done with that one. It was hard. I remember just giving myself grace and allowing the pain to come. I was so angry. After that ultrasound, I sat alone in my car and just lost it. It was one of the hardest days of my life.
The pain is real. The questions are very real. What I did was just allow myself to grieve in my own way. One day, I just woke up and knew it was time to let go and move on with ttc. My next ttc was successful and we had a baby boy, which wasn’t expected, but I was more happy to be pregnant and healthy than anything else.
I will say, for me, that next pregnancy was very difficult. I was always expecting bad news. Always waiting for the ball to drop. But it never did. Looking back, I do wish I would’ve talked to someone about my fears during that pregnancy. I feel it would have made me cherish that pregnancy so much more!
I am praying for you that the d&c goes well and that a peace come swiftly.
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February 14th, 2018, 12:15 AM
#7
Thank you everyone, for the advice and condolences. I called the doc today and let them know that I didn't want to do the D&C on Valentine's Day, so tomorrow I will go in for an appt to discuss the procedure and sign the papers. I'm assuming the D&C will be Thursday. I don't know how to put how sad I am into words. We tried so hard for this baby. We never had to try with the others, it always happened quick. We have 6 healthy kids. We decided to sway for #7 and I got pregnant our first month TTC when I was on the diet/exercise for 6 weeks but it ended in a chemical. 2 cycles later I was pregnant again (14 weeks on diet/exercise) Now it's 2 miscarriages in a row. Along with being sad I'm mad. 13 weeks is 2 far, that's supposed to be the safe zone. I already saw the baby and heard the heartbeat. I wish it happened sooner. I went through the entire first trimester, all the exhaustion and sickness and ended up with nothing.
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February 14th, 2018, 12:25 PM
#8
Swaying Advice Coach
Hugest hugs - I am so sorry you have had to endure this.
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February 16th, 2018, 11:32 PM
#9
Atomic,
I had my D&C today, physically I feel fine but emotionally I'm a mess. While waiting in pre-op the doc mentioned that my panorama results had come back the day before. I called the office right away. It was a healthy, low risk baby boy. I'm just wondering what you would recommend now as essentially our sway failed. Should I switch to a different diet? Also, our last son was conceived doing E4D and this boy was conceived doing 1 attempt at +OPK. Before our attempt I just let him "do his thing" so I'm not sure how often he was releasing. Would you recommend him releasing more? Like maybe once a day but only inside me at our attempt? Here is what I was doing during our failed sway
First meal between 2-2:30 it was a mini bagel, coffee and a light yogurt
Dinner around 7 was rice with veggies or pasta with sauce or a tortilla with refried beans and salsa. I would usually have a piece of bread with vegan butter, a Diet Coke, and something else like a serving of Cheez-its, wheat thins, some canned corn, or mini muffins also.
That was it food wise
I rode a stationary bike for 1 hour everyday
Clomid days 3-7 (this baby was conceived on the 3rd cycle)
Only 1 attempt at +OPK
I lost about 20-25lbs
I was on the diet/exercise for 14 weeks when we conceived
DH and I are both 31
I was 125lbs at conception of this baby
Just wondering what I should change going forward? I want to conceive ASAP.
Last edited by MoeBabyx6; February 17th, 2018 at 12:51 PM.
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February 17th, 2018, 03:51 PM
#10
Swaying Advice Coach
None of these things are even remotely close to 100% so you can't look at it and say "welp, this failed so I have to change everything" because it may be that your best chances are to do exactly what you did before. When you flip a coin, you can get heads or tails, and swaying is the same way. Swaying is not a guarantee, it just raises your chances, so it very well can happen that you could have swayed your way to 75% and then just happened to hit the 25% opposites. The solution to this is NOT start changing tons of things because it may have been just sheer bad luck and by doing things differently we could end up with LOWER chances than you had the last time!!
The ONLY thing that jumps out to me is that your diet was quite carby and we've had a good success rate having people switch over to one of the alternate diets here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...rt-3-pcos.html and that would be my recommendation. I also don't think you were eating enough and I'd urge you to not limit your diet quite so hard this next time just because I think we see better results with a more laid back approach. No one ever needs to go to 2:30 in the afternoon before eating and the amount of willpower and self-control it must have taken you to stick to that, I feel may sway blue due to the control freak angle so I'd def. like to see you more relaxed on that front.
eVerything else, I think you were spot on, just had some bad luck. One attempt is still best, Clomid still sways pink, it's just that the cards didn't fall our way this time.
It’s been awhile but I keep meaning to come back and say we swayed girl in 2022 and had a little girl in early 2023! First girl born in 110+ years on my husband’s side.[emoji179]
2022 Pink Sway Results!