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  1. #1
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    Tips to avoid "swaysession?"

    My attempt is still 3 months away. I've purchased the Personalized Swaying Plan and have chatted a lot with Atomic regarding my plan (thank you, Atomic!!) to get it just right for me. I feel really good with my plan, and in the end, I know I will have done what I could to try and conceive a girl, and the rest will be in God's hands.

    However, the only thing I'm a bit worried about is "swaycession" - getting so obsessed with my sway that I actually undo all the good pink things I'm doing by sending my T levels through the roof. I really want to avoid that, but I don't know how. I'm naturally a very obsessive, detail-oriented person (hello, I'm a boy mom! ) and I don't know how to *not* be that way. It's just ingrained in me. I picture myself going through the swaying motions, tracking things, etc, all while trying to relax, but I don't know if "trying to relax" is good enough for keeping my T levels from spiking (I hope that makes sense).

    For example...I keep a daily log of my weight (still trying to lose lots before we start swaying in July), I chart my cycles using temps and CM/CP, I use OPKs, and I keep track of my diet through Sparkpeople.com (which I can access both on my computer and my phone).

    At first glance, this may look like highly stressful, obsessive activities, but I am actually more relaxed by tracking these things and knowing what's going on. I LIKE to do these things, and have been doing them for years (well, I don't always track my diet, but I do all of the other things and have always done them). The charting is so simple to me, because I've been doing it for years. I typically don't temp the first 5 days or so of my cycle. If I skip a day for whatever reason, I don't panic. And once O is confirmed by CM dry-up and a few days of high temps, I usually stop temping until AF arrives. So, I basically do kind of "lazy charting," if you will - only charting during my fertile window. And the temping itself is no biggie - I set my alarm every morning for 5:30, take my temp while I'm half asleep, and my therm saves the reading, so I just fall back to sleep and record my temp later. Super easy. As for tracking my foods, I will sit down at the computer before bed, enter all my foods for the following day, make sure it pretty much falls within the guidelines of the LE diet, and then go to bed. The next day, it takes all the guess-work out of what to eat, and I just go down the list and follow my eating plan for the day. I know weighing myself daily is often seen as an obsessive thing too, and I agree - maybe I need to ease up on this a bit. But, as with the charting and diet, I NEED to see numbers on paper, so to speak, because not knowing what is going on (with temps, diet, weight, etc) sends me into a panic and stresses me out - which I'm sure raises my T levels.

    So, having said all that, does this look like a typical way where a boy mom who is swaying pink will ultimately fail because I'm raising my T levels through this sort of "swaysession?"

    Also, is there anything I can do to kind of "trick" my mind into thinking this is no big deal, or that I'm not really paying attention to my sway, or whatever? I really want to be lackadaisical about this...I'm just not sure how to do that.

    Any other tips you can give to avoid "swaysession?" Or anything you can suggest to just "relax and go with the flow?" Or great ways to de-stress? I'd love to hear any suggestions you have!

    (Sorry this was so long! Also, I just realized that I'm now stressing/obsessing about stressing/obsessing! LOL! )
    Last edited by sweetpea; April 14th, 2012 at 01:40 PM.
    2008
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    2013: twin boy stillborn at 37 weeks
    Sweet baby boy, you are loved and missed more than you will ever know.
    There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and wonder what
    you would have been like. I love you and miss you so much.
    Rest now, my baby, in the loving arms of Jesus.


    Biggest shock of our lives - surprise BFP! And it's a GIRL!!!


  2. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
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  3. #3
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    I dont know much about it, so feel free to tell me im wrong lol
    But what about just indulging in girly things to try to keep the T at bay? painting nails, getting your hair done, wearing make up, wearing dresses if its warm enough, spending some time each day just letting your mind be clear too. Like just setting aside 5 minutes a day to just think nothing. I start by counting to 100 and if any thoughts creep in i just push them out and keep counting as i breathe.

    I think if you re in a routine of charting and logging food, then its going to be less stressful to continue with that. and just maybe try to make it so you spend 5 mins a day logging your chart and then dont think about it again till tomorrow, and 15 mins logging food, then dont worry about it again if that makes sense? so dont spend half an hour before hand worrying if you should be logging things or what you are going to log, just try and set time aside so the rest of the time your not thinking about it too much?

    As long as your thoughts are not completely over taken by these small tasks you have in your routine i think they sound pretty ok, and cutting things like that out would mean you would be stressing all the time over them rather than the 5 mins it takes to do them.
    Mum to a big girl, a big boy and a little boy
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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by bambinolla View Post
    I dont know much about it, so feel free to tell me im wrong lol
    But what about just indulging in girly things to try to keep the T at bay? painting nails, getting your hair done, wearing make up, wearing dresses if its warm enough, spending some time each day just letting your mind be clear too. Like just setting aside 5 minutes a day to just think nothing. I start by counting to 100 and if any thoughts creep in i just push them out and keep counting as i breathe.

    I think if you re in a routine of charting and logging food, then its going to be less stressful to continue with that. and just maybe try to make it so you spend 5 mins a day logging your chart and then dont think about it again till tomorrow, and 15 mins logging food, then dont worry about it again if that makes sense? so dont spend half an hour before hand worrying if you should be logging things or what you are going to log, just try and set time aside so the rest of the time your not thinking about it too much?

    As long as your thoughts are not completely over taken by these small tasks you have in your routine i think they sound pretty ok, and cutting things like that out would mean you would be stressing all the time over them rather than the 5 mins it takes to do them.
    You pretty much hit the nail on the head with what I was thinking, in the last part here that I bolded. I really do not actually stress over these tasks - like you said, I only take a few minutes out here and there to log these things, and then forget about them. I hope this doesn't send a message to my body that I'm obsessing though, and thus end up raising my T levels. Like you said, I think I would be stressing a lot by NOT doing these things.

    Thanks for your input/suggestions!! Anyone else?
    2008
    2010
    2013
    2013: twin boy stillborn at 37 weeks
    Sweet baby boy, you are loved and missed more than you will ever know.
    There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and wonder what
    you would have been like. I love you and miss you so much.
    Rest now, my baby, in the loving arms of Jesus.


    Biggest shock of our lives - surprise BFP! And it's a GIRL!!!


  5. #5
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    Sweetpea, you pretty much do the same things I do (except I don't temp b/c I still sleep w/ my toddler and he wakes up so frequently that my temps are never accurate enough to chart by). I weigh myself daily, enter all of my food in the early morning while drinking my coffee, chart on FF (drop the charting after confirmed O), use a CBFM and OPKs and I don't think any of it counts as "swaycession". I literally could do this stuff in my sleep, esp. the diet tracking b/c I have been doing it for years!

    I DID "swaycess" for a little while but it involved a lot of analysis of other's sways and diets and getting so wrapped up in the details of it all that I couldn't sleep, and actually would dream about it! When I let all of that go, all that was left was my daily tracking, and that actually relaxes me and keeps me sane b/c I know that as long as I am within my limits, everything will be ok!

    Oh - and I love to read, so I read. A LOT. That helps keep me away from the computer and the forums - most of the time LOL
    Last edited by Ribbons; April 17th, 2012 at 02:25 PM.
    Supermom to DS1 (1996) & DS2 (2009) & DS3 (2013) & my HT beauty DD4 (2015)
    -=-=-
    • Failed sway attempt in 2012... read my girl sway
    • HT cycle #1 HRC June 2014: 13 eggs, 12 mature, 12 fertilized, 9 biopsied, 5 normals (3XX/2XY) - transferred 1XX HEB AB... 4dp6dt BFP!!! HB 125bpm seen 6w3d
    • FET cycle #1 HRC Dec 2016: PUPO with DD5!! BFP POAS 4dp6dt!!! 1XX HB AA <3 <3 <3

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    Sweetpea, you pretty much do the same things I do (except I don't temp b/c I still sleep w/ my toddler and he wakes up so frequently that my temps are never accurate enough to chart by). I weigh myself daily, enter all of my food in the early morning while drinking my coffee, chart on FF (drop the charting after confirmed O), use a CBFM and OPKs and I don't think any of it counts as "swaycession". I literally could do this stuff in my sleep, esp. the diet tracking b/c I have been doing it for years!

    I DID "swaycess" for a little while but it involved a lot of analysis of other's sways and diets and getting so wrapped up in the details of it all that I couldn't sleep, and actually would dream about it! When I let all of that go, all that was left was my daily tracking, and that actually relaxes me and keeps me sane b/c I know that as long as I am within my limits, everything will be ok!

    Oh - and I love to read, so I read. A LOT. That helps keep me away from the computer and the forums - most of the time LOL
    Yep, that is EXACTLY me! And I, too, could do all this stuff in my sleep - I've been charting on and off for 6 years, so I am super familiar with how to do it (even checking CF and CP) and I don't ever obsess about it. It's very second nature to me. And I like the way I chart now - very lazy-like - by not charting the first 5-6 days or so, and stopping once O is confirmed. I have also tracked my food and my weight on and off for years, although I've really gotten out of the habit of it for the past year or so (when I gained all this weight ). I've been back to doing that since January though, so I feel like I'm in a good routine, without stressing too much (or at all, really) about all of this. I hope that I'm not deceiving myself, and that this kind of tracking/attention to detail really IS raising my T levels, even if I don't think it is. I guess that's what I'm worried about.

    I will point out, however, that right now I sort of AM "swaycessing" because I'm still ironing out details of my sway (which won't be happening until July, so I still have time to obsess for a little bit, I think). I'm reading as much info as I can, I'm on this site a lot, I'm reading tons of sways, and bugging, er I mean talking to, Atomic a lot (thank you again, Atomic, for your patience with me!!). So yeah, I am sure I'm in "swaycession" mode right now, but I hope to tone it down a lot before July...have my plan all set in stone...and just relax and go through the motions when the time comes. I hope I'm able to do that!

    Also - great suggestion about reading! Does reading lower T levels? I *LOVE* to read, but I often can't find the time to do it. If I'm able to let go of obsessing about my plan soon, maybe I'll take a little bit of a break from these boards and take up more reading instead.

    I was also thinking of trying to schedule a massage during O week, once we actually start trying (will have to talk hubby into letting me do this!). Do you guys think this will help T levels? Do massages sway?
    2008
    2010
    2013
    2013: twin boy stillborn at 37 weeks
    Sweet baby boy, you are loved and missed more than you will ever know.
    There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and wonder what
    you would have been like. I love you and miss you so much.
    Rest now, my baby, in the loving arms of Jesus.


    Biggest shock of our lives - surprise BFP! And it's a GIRL!!!


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpea View Post
    Yep, that is EXACTLY me! And I, too, could do all this stuff in my sleep - I've been charting on and off for 6 years, so I am super familiar with how to do it (even checking CF and CP) and I don't ever obsess about it. It's very second nature to me. And I like the way I chart now - very lazy-like - by not charting the first 5-6 days or so, and stopping once O is confirmed. I have also tracked my food and my weight on and off for years, although I've really gotten out of the habit of it for the past year or so (when I gained all this weight ). I've been back to doing that since January though, so I feel like I'm in a good routine, without stressing too much (or at all, really) about all of this. I hope that I'm not deceiving myself, and that this kind of tracking/attention to detail really IS raising my T levels, even if I don't think it is. I guess that's what I'm worried about.

    I will point out, however, that right now I sort of AM "swaycessing" because I'm still ironing out details of my sway (which won't be happening until July, so I still have time to obsess for a little bit, I think). I'm reading as much info as I can, I'm on this site a lot, I'm reading tons of sways, and bugging, er I mean talking to, Atomic a lot (thank you again, Atomic, for your patience with me!!). So yeah, I am sure I'm in "swaycession" mode right now, but I hope to tone it down a lot before July...have my plan all set in stone...and just relax and go through the motions when the time comes. I hope I'm able to do that!

    Also - great suggestion about reading! Does reading lower T levels? I *LOVE* to read, but I often can't find the time to do it. If I'm able to let go of obsessing about my plan soon, maybe I'll take a little bit of a break from these boards and take up more reading instead.

    I was also thinking of trying to schedule a massage during O week, once we actually start trying (will have to talk hubby into letting me do this!). Do you guys think this will help T levels? Do massages sway?
    Are we the same person? LOL

    I did the same thing - planned a LOT early on, and gave myself an extra 6 weeks just to make sure that I could get it all down and go with it, without thinking about it in the end. I think that's perfect, especially if you are obsessive by nature! I am very confident in my sway and I really feel like I have done everything I need to do up to this point... and no matter what I end up with, I don't think I'll have any regrets about what I could have done. I'm not so sure I would feel that way if I didn't spend the first month or so getting the "obsessing" out of the way! I feel so much more relaxed now about everything.

    I think that ANYTHING you enjoy, that allows you to escape and turns your mind "off", will lower your T levels, whether that is reading, taking a bath, watching movies, cooking, or underwater basketweaving - I wouldn't suggest you read gender ratio studies like I did for a while there though LOL

    on the massage... I am totally getting one next weekend!! (My first attempt is around 4/28)
    Supermom to DS1 (1996) & DS2 (2009) & DS3 (2013) & my HT beauty DD4 (2015)
    -=-=-
    • Failed sway attempt in 2012... read my girl sway
    • HT cycle #1 HRC June 2014: 13 eggs, 12 mature, 12 fertilized, 9 biopsied, 5 normals (3XX/2XY) - transferred 1XX HEB AB... 4dp6dt BFP!!! HB 125bpm seen 6w3d
    • FET cycle #1 HRC Dec 2016: PUPO with DD5!! BFP POAS 4dp6dt!!! 1XX HB AA <3 <3 <3

  8. #8
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    My thinking is, if you're burning your way thru the New York Times list of "50 books you must read before death" or something like that, then reading does have the potential to raise T levels - like the whole, sense of accomplishment or that you're launching into a project, KWIM? Anything recreational that shuts down your brain, be it reading, or tv or whatever, is great as long as you don't see it as accomplishing anything constructive!
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    Are we the same person? LOL
    LOL! It sure sounds like it!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    I did the same thing - planned a LOT early on, and gave myself an extra 6 weeks just to make sure that I could get it all down and go with it, without thinking about it in the end. I think that's perfect, especially if you are obsessive by nature! I am very confident in my sway and I really feel like I have done everything I need to do up to this point... and no matter what I end up with, I don't think I'll have any regrets about what I could have done. I'm not so sure I would feel that way if I didn't spend the first month or so getting the "obsessing" out of the way! I feel so much more relaxed now about everything.
    This makes me feel so much better! This is *exactly* what I hope to do. I have time now to obsess, iron out details, and get all that "swaycession" stuff out of the way. I am also very confident in my sway, and I know it will give me the best shot at conceiving a girl. I just need to R-E-L-A-X when the time comes!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    I think that ANYTHING you enjoy, that allows you to escape and turns your mind "off", will lower your T levels, whether that is reading, taking a bath, watching movies, cooking, or underwater basketweaving - I wouldn't suggest you read gender ratio studies like I did for a while there though LOL

    on the massage... I am totally getting one next weekend!! (My first attempt is around 4/28)
    LOL about reading gender ratio studies!!! Yep, I've done that, too! I will try my best to fill my time with enjoyable, relaxing activities (not like I have much time for that, but I can try!). And yes to the massage! I will be doing that the week of our attempt, too!

    Good luck on your first attempt month, Ribbons! It's coming up QUICK! Very excited for you!!!
    2008
    2010
    2013
    2013: twin boy stillborn at 37 weeks
    Sweet baby boy, you are loved and missed more than you will ever know.
    There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and wonder what
    you would have been like. I love you and miss you so much.
    Rest now, my baby, in the loving arms of Jesus.


    Biggest shock of our lives - surprise BFP! And it's a GIRL!!!


  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    My thinking is, if you're burning your way thru the New York Times list of "50 books you must read before death" or something like that, then reading does have the potential to raise T levels - like the whole, sense of accomplishment or that you're launching into a project, KWIM? Anything recreational that shuts down your brain, be it reading, or tv or whatever, is great as long as you don't see it as accomplishing anything constructive!
    LOL! Nope - reading is never a "competitive sport" to me, I just like to lose myself in a good book. It's a nice, relaxing escape to me - I really should try and do it more often anyway, swaying or not!
    2008
    2010
    2013
    2013: twin boy stillborn at 37 weeks
    Sweet baby boy, you are loved and missed more than you will ever know.
    There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and wonder what
    you would have been like. I love you and miss you so much.
    Rest now, my baby, in the loving arms of Jesus.


    Biggest shock of our lives - surprise BFP! And it's a GIRL!!!


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