need your help!

[mell]

Hello everyone! I've been reading this forum for a couple of months now. Today I finally decided to register and ask for help. I will start from the beginning so it will be clear what I'm asking for. When I was 20 I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. I couldn't understand why it happened with me. I've been always dreaming about big family. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. My parents have been together for 40 years already! They've always been an example for me. But my diagnosis changed me completely. I thought I will never meet a man, who will love me with my problem. Who wants to be with a woman, who cannot have children? That is what I was thinking about. I closed in my room and I was trying to go outside as rare as possible. I started to be afraid of people. I didn't hang out with friends. I put an end on myself. But one day husband of my older sister came to visit parents. It happened so he was with his friend. When I remember that day I can't hold back my smile)) It was love from the first sight! I don't know how but it cured my heart and my mind. Suddenly I realized that my problem is not that huge anyway. There are so much people, who have problems much worst then mine and they keep on living no matter what! We start dating soon after we met. And I told him the truth. Of course I was afraid to lose him. But he supported me and said 'We'll figure it out together!' We've been married for 3 years already. We think it's time for us to have children. The only solution for us is IVF with donor egg. But we are confused and don't know what clinic is better to choose? What should be considered? I will be grateful for any help!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome! We have a wonderful group of ladies here who are experts in IVF and will be able to help you!

Good luck and I will be following your journey!

[BrightSky]

Welcome! I'm sorry you had to go through that at such a young age, but it definitely doesn't mean you won't bear children! I know heaps of people who have used IVF and some donor eggs.. Where abouts are you?

[nuthinbutpink]

Hi there. It depends where you live but DE is a wonderful option. It may make sense to seek a second option about the ovarian failure. How did you even find out at 20 that it was an issue?

[BrightSky]

Of course the child will love you, you gave birth and them and will be their mother! you are lucky you are in the states, they make it very hard here in Australia!

[atomic sagebrush]

Girls, I appreciate your support! Finally I can talk with people who understand. Also I'm confused, because it won't be my child genetically. My husband looks positive on this procedure. Why wouldn't he, it will be his child anyway! And I will be just some woman, who gave birth. Will this child love me? Will I love this child? I'm scared that someone will notice child is not mine... I'm afraid when child will grow up he/she will hate me because of this. All of my friends have kids. They don't understand me at all. They say 'maybe it's your destiny to be childless, enjoy your life!' But I can't live like this! I'm absolutely confused(

Oh huge hugs, I think your feelings are all perfectly normal!

What scientists have recently learned is that while the egg itself may not be yours, the conditions in your uterus actually affect the genes and the way they work, turning some of them off and on and having a huge influence over who that child will grow up to be. Possibly even more than the egg itself does! The baby will hear your voice every day as it grows, it will recognize you as its mommy from the very start (even by your smell!!) You will love your child and it will love you - even if this did not happen naturally, which it does (babies are lovable and they are programmed to love the people who care for them) you get hormones that occur at birth that make you even more prone to falling in love with your little one!

Your child will not hate you, they will be thankful for their life and to have a mother who loves them so much.

[atomic sagebrush]

It is called "epigenetics" if you wanted to look it up and read more about it. Good luck.