DH not really on board with #3

[Inforthree]

My DH is happy with our two DS and has agreed to try for #3 next year, but he isn't really on board. Whenever it comes up he is not excited about it and makes it clear he would be happy to not to try for another. It's mainly the baby phase, he feels like we're just getting out of it and he doesn't want to start all over again. I really want to try for #3 so I'm willing to do it with a reluctant DH. Anyone else have this experience, did your DH come around? Also, I know he's thinking it will be DS #3, if it was for sure a DD, he'd probably be more excited. I wish he was excited about trying again like I am...

[Mulberry Smurf]

We had our boys in the same years good luck with your sway, do you think he will ever get on board - maybe he would like a baby break? We are playing a sway in a few years so we can enjoy baby free time for a bit! xx

[ImmiNAddi]

My hubby didn't really want to go again either. He was happy with 2 kids really! Lol..and here we are with 4 and pregnant with #5. He swayed with me but I must say the last few weeks (since finding out I'm pregnant) things are weird. He won't talk about the baby or anything to do with pregnancy. If I mention something like how tired I am he will say 'well that's your fault' - he is not a bad person, but he is being a bit of a jerk at the moment!
Maybe just go through the 'what ifs' with him so when they happen you will already have some idea of the reactions Best of luck xx

[XXforhubby]

My DH is the one who brought up the idea of having a third child and yet he kept flip flopping the whole time! He also brought up having a fourth when I was only 10 weeks pregnant with our DS3, and he STILL flip flops even though he said last week he definitely wants to try for a fourth child!! I'm just going to tune him out, since he loves having children and likes to BD frequently, lol! I'll use that to my advantage!!

My advice would be as long as your DH is willing to BD unprotected, I would keep on TTCing. I would keep all that you may be doing to sway away from him, and if it takes a while to conceive I wouldn't let him know it bothers you. I think that just makes it harder for them and easier for them to say they don't want to try anymore. We will be here for you!

FX and GL to you!

[Inforthree]

Thanks, ladies. Yea he definitely wants a baby break! But he really doesn't want a big gap, plus we aren't so young. I'd like to just TTC now because I think (hope) he'll get more on board once it's a done deal. But for life/financial reasons we need to wait a bit. He's okay with the swaying stuff, he says if we're going to do it we should give it our best try. It's more that if he had his way we'd be done with two.

Sorry about your DH immi. That's what I'm afraid of is that he'll keep flip flopping after BFP.

I wish my DH had suggested #3, XX. No four though. Three is our max.


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[XXforhubby]

That is what my DH has said too, yet he has decided to wait to get his vasectomy next December so we have 8 months to TTC. Yet in the same breath he says he is done with having kids! I think his heart and his mind are in contrast. I just love having a baby and raising kids. We've been lucky so far our two boys are super easy and hopefully DS3 will be too! Otherwise we will be done at three too, lol!

[atomic sagebrush]

Please don't expect that your husband will feel the same as you about kiddos. I have talked to so many women around the world and it is a universal thing that we are more baby-crazy than they are. We just can't expect that they will be as happy or excited about it. AT the same time please don't put your feelings on the back burner because men can and do start over again with new families all the time while we have a limited fertile window to work with and thus I think our wishes HAVE to outweigh theirs, because they will stay fertile for a long time and we won't.

if your husband is willing to TTC, that is more than some of us unfortunately. My husband could have stopped at number 1 (or even number zero I think honestly) and I have dragged him along for the rest. He is happy they're all here, especially our last one they really have a special relationship, but he still gets annoyed and wishes we had more freedom and spare time and money than we do because of the children. :/ I have no regrets though.

[Inforthree]

Thanks atomic. That's a good point. I am happy he's agreed try. I guess I'm afraid he'll change his mind. I look forward to it being too late for that!


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[The Anchor]

My DH is one of the few that would happily have had 10 kids if my old body had agreed. He would happily play with children all day long. I keep saying its because his mental age is the equivalent of a child. LOL. Almost 3 years TTC and he is still hopeful. It breaks my heart actually.

Once #3 is in your arms he won't be able to imagine life without him/her. GL!

[atomic sagebrush]

Doesn't it seem like sometime the universe likes to toy with us, Anchor.