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  1. #1
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Angry gender abortions? Please leave me out of it.

    This is not directed at any person or persons in particular but just a general statement. I am not trying to start a flame-fest or argument, I just have to say this.

    I do not support abortions for gender selection. I totally understand gender disappointment and I know that some of the wonderful ladies on this site are in situations in their culture or situation where they feel such a great pressure for a baby of a particular gender, that they don't feel like they have any option, but it is not what I am about. I'm not trying to judge or be harsh in any way because I know that everyone has a different moral compass and what you believe may not be the same as what I believe, but I just morally can't help you with that and live with myself.

    I occasionally get the vibe that for a small minority of people, they are obsessed with knowing gender very early for the reason of pregnancy termination of an opposite, and it is just not something that I am at all comfy with. The methods of telling gender early on in pregnancy, be it by darkness of pregnancy test, beta, Ramzi, side of ovulation, DNA blood tests, Urobiologics, the moon phase you ovulated in, or even nub shots, none of them are 100% reliable for telling gender and most of them don't even work at all. So matters of personal ethics aside you may very well end up aborting a child of your desired gender.

    ABOVE ALL ELSE YOU CANNOT TELL YOUR BABY'S GENDER FROM "FEELINGS" HOWEVER STRONG THEY MAY BE. There are so many of us who had strong feelings about their baby's gender who were WRONG. Please, please, please I beg you do not terminate a pregnancy on the basis of your feelings, intuition, psychic ability and so on.

    You can't tell your baby's gender from darkness of pregnancy tests. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ancy-test.html (my reply is on the second page)

    You can't tell your baby's gender from betas/HCG levels. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ancy-test.html (my reply is on the second page.)

    You can't tell your baby's gender from where you felt O pains. You can't even tell what side you ovulated from where you felt O pains http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...ing-depth.html. and http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...on-gender.html

    Ramzi - has been unreliable for many and I have seen several people send Dr. Ramzi himself $10 to guess on their ultrasound and he guessed WRONG. Nub shots are all well and good but nubs before the end of the 12th week are totally unreliable. Additionally, unless a tech has been well trained, it is totally possible to get inaccurate info and bad shots and sometimes techs are just wrong. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ultr...ing-13w2d.html and Nub theory - official study!

    You can't tell your baby's gender from an ultrasound that tells you what side you ovulated from. We have seen plenty of opposites with this. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...on-gender.html

    You can't tell your baby's gender from where you think you felt implantation. That is IMPOSSIBLE and if the uterus was that sensitive, pregnancy and childbirth would be excruciating.

    The blood tests, gender predictor tests, cabbage tests, OWT, symptoms have proven themselves again and again to be unreliable. Even the DNA blood test has produced opposite results and none of the others are reliable at all.

    You shouldn't panic because your sway didn't go the way you wanted it to...people get their desired gender every day without doing anything to sway, and even "perfect" sways produce opposites. Please don't despair over a sway that didn't go according to plan, you still have a great chance at your desired gender. I have fielded many questions from people wanting to take the morning after pill or drink parsley tea when their sway didn't work out and the majority did get their DG so please don't go this route. There have been people who DID go this route and baby stayed stuck through the grace of God, and they got their DG.

    I love you guys and sorry for the awkward subject matter, I just don't want anyone to make any decisions based out of desperation, that anyone would then have to live with for the rest of their lives.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; March 5th, 2016 at 03:21 PM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  2. #2
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    mommymachine's Avatar
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    I love that you wrote this. Thank you atomic!
    Thank you God and Our Lady
    - 2005 - 2007 - 2010 - 2012 - 2013 - 2016

    Due January 2021

    Dec '12, Feb '13, July '15

  3. #3
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    Happy to see this on here! Just wants to say that if you think you may do this just don't have anymore babies?
    There is NEVER a guarantee!
    Too many people loose babies everyday or cant conceive even one child and its too heartbreaking!

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  5. #4
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    I think that if you are going to abort a baby for what's between its legs then you should not be reproducing at all! It's ashame that one would not love their child because of its gender! Your child does not choose what it is!
    ( 2004) ( 2006) (2011 )

    Aug 27th 2013


    Make a pregnancy ticker

  6. #5
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    I think if we can't understand why people would feel tempted, then we're lucky and should count our blessings. Some people really have major, horrible GD or live in circumstances where they have so much pressure for a child of a particular gender, that it goes beyond anything that we can understand.

    This is a safe place for everyone even with really really bad GD and I want everyone to feel safe here, but I just really am uncomfortable when I feel like people are going to use information (especially when it's wrong information) to make decisions that will alter the course of their entire lives and is against what I personally can accept from a moral standpoint. I've just been getting that vibe a lot lately.

    When my husband and I first met, we literally got pg the very first time we had sex and seriously talked about ending the pregnancy and thankfully we didn't go through with it or I wouldn't have my oldest son. I would have always regretted that and I just don't want anyone to make a mistake in the throes of GD.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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  8. #6
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    I think GD to this extent is not just GD, it's a mental disorder, an anxiety disorder. And I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if you feel like aborting a child because of his gender (or for any non-medical reason really) please seek professional help. There are other options!
    Mummy to a girl, born sleeping & two gorgeous & loud little boys

  9. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    I think if we can't understand why people would feel tempted, then we're lucky and should count our blessings. Some people really have major, horrible GD or live in circumstances where they have so much pressure for a child of a particular gender, that it goes beyond anything that we can understand.
    Having lived in two foreign countries, other than the USA, it really is hard to imagine how cultural influences can almost trump ethics....but they can.

    The American version of ethics and morality is founded on Puritan ideals. Other countries, particularly Asian countries, have a very different cultural base. So while we think abortion for gender is horrid, someone from another culture may not and may have the support of their society in their thinking.

    I agree completely with Atomic, asking another person for their input or opinion on the decision is too far.

    In the end people need to make their own decisions based on the direction of their conscience.


    My Gender Dreaming

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  11. #8
    Big Dreamer
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post

    When my husband and I first met, we literally got pg the very first time we had sex and seriously talked about ending the pregnancy and thankfully we didn't go through with it or I wouldn't have my oldest son. I would have always regretted that and I just don't want anyone to make a mistake in the throes of GD.
    This is similar to our story. It was our honeymoon and we had never had sex before, and we were very very broke. I even scheduled the appointment and everything, but in the end I did not go. I cannot imagine a world without my DS. He is the most wonderful child and brings me so much joy. I did not experience gd with him but we were very reluctant to have a baby. I know now he was meant to be in our lives. I can understand if someone feels extremely upset about your baby's gender, because I've been there too. But you never know what kind of person that little baby will become, or how much they will bring to your life. <3

    [2] healthy baby boy born in 2011
    [21 weeks] Nov. 2012 Went for a scan at 20 weeks, baby measured 17+6, came back for a follow up scan and baby had passed away. Lots of testing, no answers.
    Moving on without my son's brother. Starting our HT journey in 2014.

  12. #9
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    I can't imagine life without my little boys. Both were a surprise in their own way (DS1 was conceived on double birth control), DS2 was an attempted sway (not a very good one, but at the time we didn't know that). I knew from the moment I was pregnant DS1 was a boy. Knew it down to my bones. Hubby thought girl (then boyfriend/fiance), we didn't find out his gender on u/s. DS2, I really thought was a girl (or I convinced myself he was, not sure which).

    I had pretty bad GD when we did find out. But he is such a quirky kid, that he always has me laughing at something he says or does (and all those around him). He also gives the best hugs that I have ever gotten. His hugs wrap you with love, he can make the worst day into the best. That is the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for, and to think that I have him around me every day is such a blessing.

    I believe that we are given what is best for us not matter if we know it or not. I do know that some cultures put EXTREME pressure on a woman to bear a child of a certain sex. This was just brought up in a recent documentary called "Girl Rising," which all I can say is that it is a very strong film (I went through just about every emotion that I have). I know totally off topic.

    I am glad that you are trying to make it a safe haven for everyone though.

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  14. #10
    Big Dreamer
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    This is such a heavy topic. wow. I'm very pro-choice even though I don't think I could go through with an abortion myself. Luckily, I've never had to make that difficult decision.

    I very much agree with one of the posts above, for a person to consider this because of GD they must be in a very dark place and feel very desperate.

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