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  1. #1
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    the vices of swaying

    Updated 12-17-17

    Letís talk about the ďnaughtyĒ sway tactics. You know, the things you used to get in trouble for back in high school? A lot of them are great additions to a pink sway and are terrible for blue, and letís take a closer look at why that is.

    Alcohol: Regardless of what youíve read on other sway sites, alcohol sways pink. We have the results to prove it. This doesnít mean you can never have it when swaying blue - but remember, when swaying blue you need to eat smarter, not harder, (getting the most nutrients for the least amount of calories) and alcohol is not the most effective way to ďspendĒ your calories.

    The old school theory was that alcohol raises estrogen in women and this supposedly sways blue. They have some studies that seem to indicate that it does raise estrogen - but hereís the thing. Not only were most of these studies done in people who were either chronic alcoholics, menopausal, 9 years old (wish I was making this up), or men, the idea that estrogen sways blue has NEVER been proven anyway.

    Not even close. The way this idea is promoted as fact by many sway sites makes us think itís been tested thoroughly in a lab with blood tests done before conception and then compared to genders conceived, but it hasnít. This is primarily the work of ONE researcher who has gone back and looked at studies done on other health issues like PCOS, thyroid issues, etc and with no other, more straightforward supporting evidence (such as actual blood tests) to back it up, declared that estrogen sways blue. He does this to prove his personal theory that timing sways gender, which as we all know has been totally debunked anyway.

    It doesnít mean itís not true (that estrogen levels may be associated with more boys conceived) but we donít KNOW that it is estrogen itself or higher estrogen as a result of diet, body fat, exercise, and so on. All women need a relatively high amount of estrogen just to get and stay pregnant and as many pink swayers have found, lowering estrogen levels through diet can delay or stop ovulation. Additionally, we donít know that even if true, if this is naturally occurring estrogen levels vs. artificially altered ones.

    Thus, itís hard for me to believe that everyone who naturally conceives a girl without swaying has extremely low estrogen and everyone who naturally conceives a boy has sky high ones. In fact, we know this cannot be the case because we see very thin women with eating disorders that cause very low estrogen levels conceiving boys and some overweight women with high estrogen levels (because body fat makes estrogen) conceiving girls. We also donít know that even if estrogen that you naturally make may sway, that then using herbs or alcohol or other methods of artificially inflating estrogen levels, would sway.

    This is one of those cases where focusing on the theory gets in the way of the reality and can actually harm your sway. Alcohol also lowers blood sugar (particularly for women), can improve insulin response (particularly for women and even in people with type 2 diabetes), negatively affects your bodyís ability to build muscle, and can help people who tend to be very anxious, to relax. Our results SHOW that itís swaying pink for people and we have a lot of anecdotal evidence that backs that up. Heavy drinker/being drunk during conception sways pink? Given all those things, to skip alcohol based on one researcherís guess with NO good data to back it up, just seems silly to me.

    How to use alcohol for PINK: 1-2 drinks a day whenever youíre in the mood. We do not know if itís enough to use it only around ovulation, or if it needs to be X number of weeks in advance of the attempt. Hubby can also indulge if heíd like. Men can have more like 3-4 drinks a day if he likes. While we originally started off thinking that we should focus only on less nutritious drinks like light beer and white wine, all alcohols have gotten good results and I now believe you should have what you prefer. It may be slightly better to have this alcohol with a meal instead of between, but I seriously doubt that a drink while youíre making dinner, or one before bedtime, could make or break anyoneís sway.

    How to use alcohol for BLUE: I would reserve alcohol for special occasions and Saturday nights LOL. Itís not the best way to ďspendĒ your calories and may reduce your ability to build muscle to some extent. If youíve gotten girls with yourself and/or DH drinking a lot of alcohol you may want to cut it out totally. Stick with dark or craft beers and red wine as these do have some additional nutrients in them that may help your sway a bit.

    Warnings: If you have a history of overconsumption or liver problems, skip alcohol. If youíve just lost a lot of weight quickly, you may find alcohol affects you more strongly than it did previously. Do not mix antihistamine and alcohol unless you are already used to doing this. If you have thyroid issues or are on other medications please consult your doctor before drinking. If youíre taking a lot of blood thinners (including cranberry, aspirin, saw palmetto, cinnamon, fish oil, EPO or flaxseed) please keep in mind that alcohol thins the blood significantly and if you notice increased bleeding and bruising, you will need to pick and choose the sway supplements you use with alcohol to reduce this side effect.

    Note about breastfeeding - contrary to popular belief it is fine to have a drink or two when nursing all but the very smallest babies. If your baby is more than 6 months old it is fine to have 1 drink a day and if more than 9 months old, 2. (Although if your baby is very low weight or a preemie, is on medication or has health issues, I would still not do this.) Alcohol comes out in milk the same percentage as blood alcohol content and this is not anywhere near enough to get a baby drunk - you yourself would have died from alcohol poisoning long before the alcohol content of your milk would be enough to affect your baby. Do not drink when breastfeeding if youíre also taking blood thinning supplements - but then again I donít want you breastfeeding when taking those ANYWAY!!! Do not mix antihistamines with alcohol when breastfeeding not only because they may affect your baby, but because the combination may make you overly drowsy and less able to care for your baby. If cosleeping I would not drink right before bedtime in case it makes you too sleepy and of course never ever ever mix alcohol with antihistamine!

    Coffee/Caffeine: Regardless of what you have read on other sway sites, coffee sways pink. We have the results, both statistically and anecdotally, to prove it. As for caffeine itself, we do not know if it sways or not. Thus we think it is best to stick with coffee and not tea or caffeine pills, since it may be a component of coffee and not caffeine. That having been said, we are not sure about using decaf coffee instead of full caffeine - if it IS something in caffeinated coffee that is swaying, youíre not helping your sway drinking decaf. Our results have been in caffeinated coffee and thus that is what is recommended.

    The old-school theory was that caffeine causes calcium to leach from your bones and since calcium supposedly swayed pink, this would be a bad thing and thus coffee must be avoided at all costs. But this doesnít add up for a number of reasons. First of all, even IF calcium sways pink, we do not know that it works by being stored in bones - it may be that the benefits are FROM having it floating around in your blood and being excreted...bone mass and gender conceived has never been studied directly and a lot of indirect evidence indicates women with higher bone mass may actually conceive more BOYS.

    Secondly, we donít even know that calcium in and of itself is swaying. The best study ever done on maternal preconception diet and gender of offspring showed more boys conceived in women with the highest calcium intake and many of us on here have gotten 2,3,4 or more boys while having tons of dairy and taking very high levels of calcium supplements as a part of failed pink sways.

    And most importantly, the idea that caffeine or coffee causes calcium to leach from your body and contributes to osteoporosis has been debunked. The original study was found to be flawed - women who were drinking lots of coffee, tea, and soda were not drinking milk and had less healthy lifestyles overall and thus had lower bone mass as a result. And several follow up studies, including ones involving blood tests before and after drinking a variety of caffeinated beverages have proven unequivocally that caffeinated beverages do NOT cause calcium to leach from your body. Additionally, the best study ever done on maternal preconception diet and gender conceived showed NO difference in gender ratio with caffeine use (this study was not controlled for amount or type of caffeine, so we operate under the assumption that we need to have 2 or more servings of coffee daily in order to sway).

    Faced with this evidence, some other sites have backed off this concept and now claim coffee should be avoided because of estrogen (very similar to the claims surrounding alcohol) but again, itís subject to all the same concerns that alcohol is - remember, theories are only GUESSES really, and when our results are showing something is swaying (or not) even when it disagrees with the theory, itís time to let go of the theory and just do what is working for people. Virtually all of the hypotheticals surrounding swaying are based on very poor evidence from one researcher trying to promote their own agenda.

    SOMETHING in coffee seems to sway pink. We donít know what it is (yet) but it may possibly be because coffee, like alcohol, has some effect on blood sugar and insulin response. Or, it may be some other thing entirely we have not yet guessed at. But the evidence is overwhelming both in our results and also anecdotally that caffeinated coffee is a good pink sway tactic and should be avoided for blue. (atomic editorial note - this was the very first thing I saw with ďold-schoolĒ swaying that I knew could not be right because I knew so many people IRL with girls who drank tons of coffee and energy drinks, plus the people who were actively swaying were all ďbass-ackwardsĒ on this with the girl moms being coffee fanatics and the boy moms never drinking much of it. I rarely had ever drunk it when I was conceiving my boys, preferring tea instead)

    How to use coffee for PINK: Use full caff coffee and have at least 2, preferably 3 cups a day. This effect may be dependent on intake, with light to moderate coffee drinking being neutral, heavier use swaying pink. Do not use decaf coffee or tea, these beverages may not have the same effect as caffeinated coffee and in the case of tea, may even sway blue. Do not use energy drinks as they are highly fortified with vitamins and minerals. Do not substitute caffeine pills, they may not have the same effect as caffeinated coffee. You can have coffee in the morning or between meals with cream or milk and this does not count as a meal. Avoid sugar, have only unsweetened or artificially sweetened coffee.

    How to use coffee for BLUE: You probably donít have to completely give up coffee. Just keep it to 1-2 cups a day, no more than that. (and this means CUPS, not extra tall triple shot espressos.) You may want to switch over to tea for all or part of your caffeine fix - something in tea seems to potentially sway blue. If you or your husband were using a lot of caffeine or coffee when you got your daughters, this may be something to change up. Some people believe that having their husband have some caffeine about 1-2 hours before attempts for blue may help you conceive a boy. Use this tactic with some caution since most people tend to BD right before bed and it inhibits sleep (and itís never been proven to work anyway). A tired husband may not be able to fit in 3-5 attempts in the fertile window. It would possibly be a step in the wrong direction to do something never proven to help that may compromise his ability to have more than one attempt in the fertile window.

    NOTE about energy drinks: Men should COMPLETELY give up energy drinks all together as this is one thing that we have anecdotally found to sway pink. Pink swayers, this does NOT mean that your husband should start drinking energy drinks, because they are very fortified. This is one of those things that just seems risky to me no matter who uses it.

    Tobacco: This sways pink when smoking is done by either partner. There are people out there who get boys while doing it, but there are also people who smoke their whole lives and never get lung cancer, either. Both studies https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11978342 and https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17517408 and https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16093298 (the more girls you have had, the more smoking may affect your chances of blue!!) While there are a couple of studies that seemed to find no link, our anecdotal experiences also show that smoking sways pink. The custom sway questionnaires both for pink and blue have this question in them, and there is a huge difference in the number of blue swayers who have one or both partners smoking (almost always DH) and the pink swayers who have one or both partners smoking. Additionally many of our blue swayers who got opposites were in couples where the husband was smoking either regular or ďspecial tobaccoĒ (more about that below.)

    How to use smoking for pink: Women who are planning to become pregnant should not be smoking. Not only are you harming yourself, you are also harming your child, and the data is overwhelming - it is just not something you should be doing. Stop smoking as far before your planned time of conception as you possibly can. (In the interests of full disclosure, my mother smoked like a chimney when she was pregnant with me and for my whole entire life. While Iím obviously alive, I do suffer from severe allergies and was sick with respiratory and ear infections nearly constantly my whole childhood and even beyond - I still get severe ear infections at least once a year even as an adult, and doctors tell me itís extremely unusual. And yippee, I was also just diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. So even when everything seems to work out ok, smoking can have repercussions that last a lifetime.)

    For DH, if your husband smokes already, have him continue. (Of course, if youíve been trying to get him to quit for years and heís finally willing, please encourage that.) Do not have him increase the amount he smokes, though. I strongly suggest that he do this OUTSIDE the home and not indoors where you and your children will be exposed to secondhand smoke. Do not use licorice root or Sudafed if your husband smokes and I would also not give him calcium supplements as these may contribute to cardiovascular disease.

    If your husband is just an occasional enjoyer of a rare cigar or pipe, great. I believe this to be the best, safest way to incorporate smoking as a part of a pink sway. This is the only thing my husband did any differently between our boys and our girl (aside from gaining weight) was that once he turned 40, he decided to start smoking pipes and cigars. It wasnít a lot, and I suspect that in people who have never smoked much, an occasional cigar or pipe may affect them disproportionately more than someone whoís smoked a pack a day for 20 years.

    How to use smoking for blue: DONíT. Under any circumstances. This is something I see repeatedly amongst my blue swayers who get opposites, is that their husbands were smoking. Even if he just ďcuts backĒ it may still affect your sway negatively. If at all possible, have him quit as far in advance of your sway as is feasible. Many men wonít do this, unfortunately, and it is something that we have to accept. If you are in this boat, do not despair, you can still sway focusing on just what YOU can control, and be better off than if you were also eating a pink-friendly diet, but it is just something that seems so heavily associated with opposites that I would not be doing you guys right if I didnít mention that. If he smokes regularly in the house I would try to see if a compromise could be arranged so you are not being exposed to the secondhand smoke.

    NOTE about chewing tobacco and vaping - these probably sway pink, but I donít have the data to back that up.

    WARNING: Is this safe? No, of course not. But given that most smokers smoke a LOT more than the occasional pipe or cigar for many decades before incurring health issues from it, and also given that people on many sway sites are doing a lot of things that may be immediately harmful for their sway (that probably donít even work) I find the risks to be extremely minimal for the amount of possible benefit. I believe occasional smoking to be safer than licorice root, Sudafed, extreme mineral balancing, baking soda/high sodium intake, and abuse of blood thinning supplements.

    Cannabis/Marijuana - aka Mary Jane, aka pot, aka special or wacky tobacc-y: This is a gray area because thereís not a ton of strong evidence that it sways pink (aside from anecdotally, although 2 reproductive endocrinologists in America and Australia that I have spoken with also believe it sways pink when used by husbands) , and a couple of animal studies I have only seen referenced and cannot find to read for myself allegedly say it sways blue (again, in animals only).

    Additionally it is not legal everywhere. Itís legal where atomic lives so she (I) can safely recommend it to pink swayersí husbands, but if it isnít legal for you, PLEASE donít take the risk. It isnít proven at all and you can ruin your lives trying to include it.

    This is for DH only as it is not proven safe for women preconception.

    How to use Special T for pink: If hubby enjoys it now and then, let him have at it.

    How to use Special T for blue: Donít. This is something I see repeatedly amongst my blue swayers who get opposites, their husbands were using it.

    Drugs, other recreational ones: Again, probably sway pink but no evidence to support that, and not worth the risk. Avoid for pink, avoid like the plague for blue.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; December 17th, 2017 at 05:24 PM.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  2. #2
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    ME MOM's Avatar
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    Atomic you are amazing, thank you for taking the time to write this! I'm sure it will be useful for many.

    Sent from my 2014813 using Tapatalk
    2009 2012
    hoping for a healthy baby in 2017, swaying pink

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  4. #3
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    Awesome information Atomic. Thank you for all of you research!
    me (42 ) DH (43)
    1995 (gave up for adoption)
    2005 2010 2013 (failed IG sway) July 2015 (swayed, lost his triplet siblings at 11w3d) 2017.

    Swayed for our but had all . Our family is complete.

    My Ovulation Chart

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    Big Dreamer

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    Thanks Atomic
    2004: 2011

    Dreaming of pink

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    So let's say that my husband already drinks energy drinks... Should I stop hounding him to quit?
    K 2012 C 2014 Baby C Nov 2017

  9. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by foxtrotmama View Post
    So let's say that my husband already drinks energy drinks... Should I stop hounding him to quit?
    I would not be hounding him to quit LOL. I do think that they generally sway pink, it's just that they are also fortified so as a general rule they make me a little nervous for blue (especially just starting with them as the effects for pink may not kick in before the nutrients do).

    My husband worked at a place where most of the guys were younger and all drank energy drinks by the truckload and at first he never drank them. We got DS 3 and 4 while all the rest of them were getting girl after girl (seriously, it was weird, 2 of the guys lived in our same small town and one had 3 daughters and the other had 2) Eventually he picked up the habit too and after that was when we got our girl.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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    I'd love to drink lots of coffee but unfortunately I really don't like it
    But I drink about half a liter diet coke a day. Would you say that's good for the caffeine or is it rather because of the aspartame?
    Mom of angel Liv (stillborn at 30w on 06/25/2016)

    TTC rainbow baby
    Failed sway, due September 2017

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    I don't know that either actually works. Like I mentioned in the essay we don't know that it's caffeine or coffee itself. And as for aspartame, while I do include it (in sensible amounts) in sway plans I have witnessed people drinking truly insane amounts of it and still getting boys. So I do not think diet coke is a substitute for coffee.

    Some people drink it, it may help, it's just that I don't have the belief in it like I do in the coffee.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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    Thanks atomic! Great info! What about sugar - lollies, chocolate etc does that sway pink or blue?
    DD Feb 2016
    DS Dec 2017 Thank you atomic and gender dreaming. My sway worked!

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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    How to use alcohol for BLUE: I would reserve alcohol for special occasions and Saturday nights LOL. It’s not the best way to “spend” your calories and may reduce your ability to build muscle to some extent. If you’ve gotten girls with yourself and/or DH drinking a lot of alcohol you may want to cut it out totally. Stick with dark or craft beers and red wine as these do have some additional nutrients in them that may help your sway a bit.
    It sounds like alcohol consumption sways more when consumed by dw than by dh, or is this incorrect? Just wondering about this because neither dh or myself were big drinkers when we got our girls, and I still don't drink often (quit completely for my sway) but dh has been drinking a lot lately (the last 3 nights) and I know he will be drinking every night on our 4 day trip that's coming up. He doesn't seem to care that our first attempt is in just over a week.

    I guess what I'm wondering is if his binge drinking is more likely to result in a girl or no pregnancy at all? Or is it really something that's more important for me to avoid than for him to avoid?

    Also, I read that sperm are not released until approximately 73 days after "forming", does this mean his drinking now will not affect the sperm right away, but rather the sperm that will be released approximately 73 days from now?
    Happily Married Since 2012
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    https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/6b79c2

    My Successful Blue Sway!
    http://genderdreaming.com/forum/add-...y-attempt.html

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