Not pregnant -- ME?

[atomic sagebrush]

What about DH being sick? He just said he feels under the weather this morning, abd I'm due to O this coming weekend D:

Unsatisfying answer - it depends.

while technically I can imagine a high fever for days may possibly sway pink for hubbies, overall, people conceive when they're sick all the time and I suspect it has to be a major illness that lasts for more than a day or two. But, use your judgement - if you will live 1000 lifetimes of regret if you try and get an opposite, skip the month.

[Throwaway_panther]

Unsatisfying answer - it depends.

while technically I can imagine a high fever for days may possibly sway pink for hubbies, overall, people conceive when they're sick all the time and I suspect it has to be a major illness that lasts for more than a day or two. But, use your judgement - if you will live 1000 lifetimes of regret if you try and get an opposite, skip the month.

He popped a fever of 101.5 today, so I'm hoping it doesn't last another day. But fever or bug for a day or two is sort of iffy then? I'm on CD 12. Not trying this month would mean I'd lose my under 2 year gap I was so desperate for, and the idea of abstaining after not getting pregnant last month seems heartbreaking.

I mean, is it that an illness would kill only Y sperm? Or just reduce quality? If he's still up for 3x at O, if there's less sperm, that's still a lot of sperm for capacitation right? Would an otherwise stronger sway on both our parts be ok, or is him having a high body temp for a day or two during this cycle equal to smoking or low calories in terms of sway hurtles?

[Burakoam]

I am thinking the idea behind fevers = pink is the idea that hot baths consistently/frequently also sway pink? regardless she makes a good point. You just sort of have to roll with the dice.... worst case scenario if we dont have any sway results on Acetaminophen and he still has a fever this weekend it may help to keep his fever down, negating the whole 'core body temp is hot, lots of the sperm dead/dying' stuff

id say only IF we dont have the info that it would only further sway pink... i dont follow up or study much anymore so i am not sure if it sways blue or pink or neutral

[Throwaway_panther]

He's gone up to 102.6 so not only am I now worried about this bug, I don't see how his sperm health could recover by next week OR we be able to keep up EoD while he's sick.

I'm so sick of this shit getting in the way. I've waited TWO years for this and I still don't have my son in my arms. If everything is perfect in September, what if I don't get pregnant and regret not gaving tried this month? And if everything worked out and I got my boy by falling pregnant then, I'd be due around my DD's bday...

[XXforhubby]

(((Hugs))) If it's not one thing it's another! I understand your frustration- this type of stuff seems to happen when TTCing and it's enough to drive you mad!! Im not sure you want to BD with him as sick as he his. If he's up for it you could try, but I worry you won't be able to get 3 attempts in, let alone be able to do EOD. I'd hate for you to start and end up with only one attempt. I see both sides though. Maybe flip a coin and do what it says? I did this my BFP cycle because I wasn't sure I wanted to even try. I was just stressed to the max with my DS2 and fed up with my DH going back and forth all of the time. I tell ya, what these men put us through!

Hang in there sweetie! I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make it be so!


8/2010 6/2013 11/2015
Baby Girl EDD 9/30/2017

[Throwaway_panther]

Thank you guys. Ugh, I'm just in a definite "I NEED TO CONTROL EVERYTHING MODE."

Hubby's fever broke overnight so he was only that high for maybe 12 hours, and I'm pumping him with meds, chicken soup and rest. I'm not due to O until a minimum CD 18 unless things really change (I'm now CD 13), so he'd definitely be good for 3 attempts by that time. Based on him puking last night, I think this is some viral thing he caught that's hopefully just a 48 hour thing. And knowing him, he'd want sex by tomorrow anyway, which would be a three day span from last BDing.

If I sound selfish and single minded here... it's because I am lol. I am worried about him, but glad the fever broke. But now I'm left worrying if it was too close to O for the sperm to be top.

Pros of trying this month:
If successful, May baby instead of birthday sharing with DD
If successful, less than 2 year gap which I really wanted
Not having another depressing month of a period
DH will have higher T from sporting tournament

Cons of trying this month:
Possibly affected sperm
May sway pink?
No guarantee of conception

Pros of waiting until September cycle:
Healthier sperm
DD is now 16 months
Chance to lift more since my job will be done
Chance to do more fertility acupuncture
Fall "boy" month (despite DD also being conceived in Sept)
All stupid OWT point boy (even those godforsaken biorhythms lol)
More time on diet (since I was nervous from two days in August when I couldn't snack as much and walked a ton)

Cons of waiting until September:
Another month of me being crazy
No guarantee of conception, pushing my TTC time longer which is a BIG deal to me
No more under 2 year gap I wanted
Pregnancy and EDD lining up with DD's, which makes me uncomfortable for a lot of reasons

I mean, this all points to September, right? But AGGGGHHHH

ETA: I'm on a loss forum and asked about flu/virus affecting conception, and someone on there had one attempt at 0-1 and is pregnant with a boy, so now I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. A lot of people pointed out that with a roughly 75 day sperm life cycle, this 24-48 hours is unlikely to affect this batch as much as I may think?

ETAx2: DH temp went up again, to 100.2

[Burakoam]

Panther with everything you have been through and everything you have waited for i think you should try this month regardless. The age gap is important to you and probably your absolute biggest thing next to NOT having them born around DD's birthday. Those are big things. only secondary to of course you having your boy.. so if its really Gender > 2 year age gap > pref not to have him born in june> everything else..then you need to try this month. You have done your diet and your work, so gender is a high probability if you conceive, you would have your age gap and born just before june.

I worry the stress of stressing over DD's conception month and what that means would sway pink for you next month, honestly, and may bring to fruition the exact thing you fear. then you will beat yourself up the rest of your life that you didnt try this month out of fear when the fear was so much worse next month.

thats a mouth full. heh.

[atomic sagebrush]

It's not that it would kill Y sperm (the whole "Y sperm are fragile" has been debunked as part of Shettles' mistake) but that it would kill ALL sperm thus making lower batches.

I"m so sorry because I know this isn't what you probably are hoping me to say but I'd skip it. I was hoping he'd feel bad for a day and then recover but the temp has gone up and up and I just don't have a good vibe (sometimes this is more art, than science).

Additionally I do believe ibuprofen and acetominophen sway pink - sparse data on that, but it's what everyone always said and I've seen some anecdoctal evidence that seemed to indicate there may be something to it.

Remember (re the person on the other board) that none of these things in isolation is THE reason. People have gotten boys while ill, of course, just like they've gotten boys with closer age gaps and while breastfeeding and etc etc etc all the stuff we've talked about before. None of it's a guarantee, it's about wanting to be in with the best attempt I can give you and I just have a gut instinct for you to wait. But, gut instincts are not worth anything in the final analysis, and like Burk says, the age gap seems very important to you and like I've said in the past, you do have what I consider a great natural chance at a boy fever or not, so, there's that angle as well.

Good luck and blue dust comin at ya, if not for this month, then soon.

[Throwaway_panther]

The temp didn't go up and up, fyi! It went down and when it went back up it was lower but was still technically a fever on day 2. And only 2 days of drugs, and not much of it. He's completely fine now.

I feel like at this point it's almost like waiting until next month is better because of how much good could come from that month, but the stripping of confidence knowing that I can't count on just falling pregnant is making me feel like "waiting" could be a reckless move. But then, could charging ahead be reckless as well? Probably, with an illness (which is completely gone by this point) in a guy who never gets sick.

I worry about the future things though. DH could be at work forever next month (which happens often); I could not fall pregnant and really fuck me up mentally with my age gap desire. What if I get sick or DD teethes?! I REALLY don't like the idea of repeating the same timing of pregnancy as I did with DD. Having to hide a pregnancy around the holidays was really brutal with her.

And DH isn't getting any younger. My next cycle would be our last cycle with him at 36.

Is there any benefit if I were to take soy isoflavones next cycle to move up ovulation so I'm not waiting until the end of September? And help my LP further?

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, I read he's sick and then 101 and then 102 - my point is just, it's not that he spiked a 99 degree fever for 24 hours and then nothing, he did actually have a legit fever.

You're right that it is ALWAYS something, and if he'll be working a lot next month then that changes the dynamic yet again. I don't have the answer here - now, I do know that his age is irrelevant and lots of the guys on here got boys at much older ages. Age is a gradual concern, there is NO difference between today and 2 months from today. It's only slowly over time that things change and not suddenly because anyone had a birthday.

I wouldn't suggest the soy in any event and not only that, you cannot take that with your thyroid. no way, no how. There is no advantage to it anyway - not for your sway, not for your fertility, and not for getting pregnant faster (because what invariably seems to happen is that the soy makes your cycle go weird and it gets longer, not shorter!)