Newbie's *pink* pink dreams

[sunstars]

Hi, I'm new to this site. I have two boys and lost my identical twin girls born at 28 weeks. It was a very complicated pregnancy with no clear answers. We did what we could, but lost one during birth and my other girl passed away a week later...
It was about 9 months ago. I'm ready to try again and, of course, both I and my husband long for a girl (or two ) I only recently learned about swaying "atomic way" unfortunately, but I still want to try in the nearest days.
I did lose 5 kgs in the last two months (previous babies weight), eat mostly vegetarian 3 times a day, no exercise, skipping breakfast often, no alcohol or coffee. I think of trying one attempt on opk with modified FR (once empty release) and actual one attempt during an hour, and probably J & D after 5 minutes. I know it sounds silly, but are my chances more than 50%? I just for several reasons planned to start this month long ago, so I don't want to delay the start. Also I doubt I can strictly follow diet (count calories, choose thoroughly what to eat, etc.), also delaying any more will make more anxious and stressed. But if I won't get pg this month, I may add coffee (from what I've learned from this site past few days). Hmm, I'm not sure about other things.
In any case, atomic, you rock! These past several days you keep amazing me with your essays, detailed answers, objective and broad thinking and helpful and friendly treatment. Oh also, I fall in love with your lovely girl's smile and kind of associate her with you - clever, beautiful, mischievous and sunny

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear that - ID twins are such challenging pregnancies. I don't even have the words - so sorry.

I can't speak to any individual's chances, I can only say the success rates for each tactic overall. (well, I could, but I'd be making that up and I don't like to give false info to people)

One attempt has gotten a pretty consistent 65-70% success rate and J and D seems to add about 3-5% onto that. So just those two things can really boost chances. Vegetarian diet is also good success for us (albeit with a smaller sample size) and has been 75% range - this may be slightly higher than one might reasonably expect but it has been what we've gotten over time with vegetarian diets.

So I think you're off to a great start. Please let me know if I can help in any way - I'd love to see you get a happy ending. Thanks so much for your kind words.

[sunstars]

Thank you so much for reply. You are really wonderful, so thoughtful, caring and helpful!
Do you think my strategy (one empty release and one actual attempt in one hour and J&D in 5 min) will decrease possibility of getting pregnant significantly? Are there other tricks, which may increase (or at least not decrease) pink chances, but at the same time not decrease pg chances significantly? Like hot bath, legs up, maybe some drinks right before attempt, etc.
Just some information that may be helpful; My husband is 33, I'm 38, BD average in recent months is 3 times per week. It got me 2-3 cycles of several times BD during fertile window to get pregnant with my boys (at 34 and 36 years old and BF), and one accidental condom break to conceive my girls (at 37 and BF). So one-attempt so far is so true for me. Also I gained weight before concieving my first DS and didn't lose much weight (lots of weight gained during and after 1st pregnancy) before concieving 2nd DS, and just started to lose some weight with my DDs. So hope this time it also will be consistent with your data. I have lots of hope and feith in your suggestions (also based on my own experience) But I did some "bad" things probably read from IG site some time ago, like I was taking prenatals and Ca and vitamin C about 2-3 weeks and dropped a few days ago, when started reading your recommendations. Plus I take lots of folic acid hoping for twins
Anyway, I'm eager to prove you right soon once again

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, it will decrease odds of pregnancy but may be more pink friendly.

Unfortunately, everything that seems to sway pink does cut odds of conception. Hot bath for sure cuts odds of pregnancy. Legs up would improve odds of conceiving but probably sways blue.

Alcohol has been effective as a sway tactic but we don't know if this needs to be just a few drinks right before attempt or an ongoing pattern of 1-2 drinks per day. Probably the latter, as we have found that dietary elements seem to work best over time. Can't hurt to try though.

Since you've just dropped the nutrients, do me a solid and take a dose today, and then another in a few more days, and then one more after that. I don't like anyone just dropping nutrients cold turkey as it may not be great for your overall health to do that.

[sunstars]

Thanks a lot for answers and care!
Well, first cycle of TTC didn't work. It was one release and one actual attempt in less than two hours, and J&D in 6-7 min (got carried away chatting with DH ) DH haven't slept properly for a week and was stressed out at work. In the middle of doing this strategy I thought it won't work, I will hardly concieve, but sticked to it. And although during 2ww for a about a week I was almost sure it did (ah, those symptoms), but it didn't. Good news: I drink a cup of coffee every day (I drank only one or two cups my entire life), and I am away from vitamins.
So what's next, what you would suggest;
-to try exactly the same for another cycle (2 releases in 1-2 hours + J&D in 5-10 min)
-same except J&D in 10-15 min,
-just one attempt and J&D in 5 minutes (in this case what we should do prior to one attempt if abstain and FR is out?)
-???
P.S. Oh, just remembered, DH had hot shower before actual attempt, definitely will skip this now.

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, at the least you won't regret not having tried it.

The first thing I'd personally ditch is the additional release. But please understand, this is a crystal ball question, I simply do not have the body of data that I would need to be able to compare those things. I have had so few people doing them that I can't point to any group of people and see if it worked for them or not.

If you aren't doing abstain or FR (and I wouldn't either) you can either have him do regular release every 2-4 days or else just let him "do what he does". Then keep the one attempt.

[sunstars]

So, 2nd round didn't work as well. We BD 24 hours after positive opk (I wanted to get as dark or darker line, but it turned out muuch lighter the next day). J&D in 10 min. Probably I was out even before trying?
The 3rd round won't work either, since DH won't be around for a month. We can BD only on CD6/7, and I got positive op on CD11 last two months. No chances here, right?
Hopefully DH will be just in time for the 4th round and the first anniversary of giving birth and loosing our girls
Past few months were bearable because of constant thoughts of swaying/concieving/waiting/hoping. This month will be very difficult in all meanings.
I already started to cheat a lot (sweets, bread, etc.). I wanted a summer baby and not be pregnant during summer, well, I was kind of sure I'll become pregnant right away (actually it's the first time I ttc with such dedication ) Anyway I'd like to think my girl(s) is(are) not "cooked"/ready yet. Reading forums help me to have positive attitude. Thank you all.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I suspect that may have been the case. When in doubt, BD, because you can conceive with attempt too soon, but not too late.

Yes that's exactly the right mindset - it's just not the time yet. Thinking of you.

[sunstars]

So the 3rd cycle of ttc (the first one with 2.5 Femara) with one attempt at pos opk, and J&D in 10-15 min was unsuccessful. We've also BD 4 days after just in case.
I've read on the other thread, that if the first cycle with Clomid and one attempt doesn't work, more attempts should be added, is it the same for Femara?
I would still prefer "one-attemptish" approach, since the first two cycles before taking Femara were with reduced chances (compressed release, hot bath) and not good timing (might have missed ovulation), so on one side I would still prefer "one-attemptish" approach, but I can take Femara only 3 cycles in a row, right?
Last 4 months I had pos opk on cd11, supposedly I'll have the same or close this time, when it's best to have other attempts? And I guess no more J&D? The difference this month while taking Femara was a bit longer luteal phase (my cycle was 25-27 last year, and this time it was 28 and was a bit heavier than previous several ones at least).
Thank you for patience reading this

[XXforhubby]

I would BD E4D from when AF ends until AF comes, just in case ovulation may be delayed. If you want, you can have another attempt when you get your positive opk, and then resume E4D the rest of your cycle.

🤞🏻for you!


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